I am starting to really hate women.

[Downanddepressed]

So I am 20 and never had a girlfriend, ever. I could understand a year ago when I was fat, but I am definitely not fat anymore and I am muscular. But losing the weight and getting muscular still is not helping. I have tried getting more proactive and being more outgoing. That still does not work.

I am starting to get fed up. I have been one a few dates, but never really been past the first. I regretfully had to end a possible relationship, but that was because she lived in another state and it would of been extremely difficult to keep that going. Nonetheless, I have an incredibly long list of rejections that supersedes anything remotely close to success.

Is it because I am 5 feet 7 inches? What is it?

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Updates

+1 y

Really, I desire a virgin such as myself. But I cannot even get to step 1.

[Anonymous]

In my opinion you're attractive, facially and body wise. So that definitely isn't an issue. Your height isn't either. Being tall is great for a guy but if he's attractive, being on the shorter side doesn't make him unattractive. You might have less luck with girls taller than you though, although I have a guy friend who consistently dates girls 3 or so inches taller than him.

It is not your looks, and from one of your previous answers I gather that you're in the medical field? Is that right? That's awesome in itself. I like career-oriented guys.

So, cross appearance and ambition off the list. It's your personality. I'm not saying you have a bad personality (I doubt it, but I don't know you.) Your username is down and depressed, plus you're shy right, and probably insecure. You can give off a sad, insecure vibe that does the opposite of attract people. I know this first hand because I'm the same. Yeah, it works that way for girls too... when I'm in a really good mood or feeling confident I talk to more people, make better impressions, etc. So I think that's your entire problem. It's gonna take some work. I don't know how to tell you how to be happier, more outgoing, and less insecure because that's something I'm trying right now.

No need to hate women because you have yet to have success with one.

[thisGUYknows]

This is what u need to hear man

[Opinion Owner]

@thisGUYknows after reading his other comments I don't even care to help him anymore. He's a dick.

[Downanddepressed]

No, i have just been enraged lately. I am normally not like this, but there comes a point where I am fed up

[Opinion Owner]

You can't hate women because you're single. The way you act when you're upset, is also an expression of your true self.

[dihydrogenmonoxide]

it's probably cause you got a shitty attitude
like how you hate all women now because you never had a girlfriend and you're only 20
I hope you don't turn into a sex offender, woman-beater, rapist, etc.
disrespecting the entire female species because only 0.000002% of females on planet earth refused to be your girlfriend is a step closer to becoming one of those crazy motherfuckers.
Now your attitude is just getting shittier because you've decided to be sexist.
you are not going to go very far in life. especially with that attitude. you're going to be beaten down and you are going to keep on blaming people for your faults. get your aggressiveness under control before you decide to throw yourself out into the world again.

So how are you going to treat woman like crap? Are you going to force a girl into an abusive relationship with you? Are you going to physically and sexually abuse a woman you'll see on the street? Are you not going to say thank you to a starbucks barista? there isn't much you can do to make us feel like crap nowadays. You can call us ugly and only the underdeveloped girls will cry.

[Downanddepressed]

I will be glad to make any girl cry. I am the king, I am the warrior, and I am the tamer and the superior.
I had a good attitude. I was once a loving person, but seeing that failed and women treated me poorly, it is my turn to be the jerk. And it will be much, much worse

[dihydrogenmonoxide]

But you can't. You can't be the king without money or influential people to support you. You can have the heart of a warrior but you can't be physically fighting women like a warrior without going to jail and dropping a bar of soap in the prison shower.
You can't tame nor be superior if people do not like you nor respect you.
Respect does not come out of fear.
If a person fears you, it's because you can threaten their life and mess the fuck out of it.
Though nowadays, if someone feels their life is being threatened, they can be protected by the law.
Only 0.00002% of women treated you poorly. not the entire species.
dude, you're only 20. it'd make sense for you to be pissed when you're 35+

[Downanddepressed]

I want a virgin girl, and I will use any means necessary to obtain that, even if that ultimately results in my demise.

[dihydrogenmonoxide]

so you're going to die just to stick your dick in a tight pussy. you're willing to rape a younger girl in order to get what you want.
dude, like I said, you're 20. get some help.

[Downanddepressed]

Young girl? What are you talking about?

[dihydrogenmonoxide]

"I want a virgin girl, and I will use any means necessary to obtain that, even if that ultimately results in my demise."
and I read in comments of other people's opinions that you're going for younger girls, and younger girls are <20

[Downanddepressed]

Yes they are

[Downanddepressed]

Any girl 16-19 is fair game

[Ballerinasinger3]

yes and under 18 is rape

[Downanddepressed]

No, not where I live

[jjodllwedo]

its rape where ever the hell you like. just cause you are desperate and want some virgin pussy it dosent mean it won't be rape. :/ get help. seriously. and lose the shitty attitude ''warrior''.

[EyeSeaYew]

From a physical aspect, you're super attractive, at least in my opinion. But I think that may be part of the problem. You seem to be putting a lot of focus on the physical aspect. Looking good only gets one so far.

You need to do an honest self-examination and recognize both your negative and positive qualities. Negative qualities need to be actively worked on. While working on your negative qualities, you also need to keep in mind your positives in order to maintain a balanced self-image. Focus on improving yourself and figuring out yourself and what you truly want in a partner. Maybe ask a close friend for help when it comes to the dating scene, like what they think you could improve on or whatever.

Because none of us actually know you, it's basically impossible to tell you exactly why you're not having success with this. We can only guess based off the information you're providing (which hasn't been much help). So I suggest you simply examine your own self and also get the feedback of those you actually know you in real life.

[Downanddepressed]

Well I lose the weight, now I cannot find a virgin that I can connect to. I might as well stayed fat because I still lose in the end.

[EyeSeaYew]

Losing weight should be about feeling good about yourself and liking what you see in the mirror, not about other people.

[bethanynicole31]

^ 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[Mesonfielde]

Your problem is the same as many other, you are generalizing females and trying to get to them through a general pattern of behavior, rather than understanding their likes and dislikes and see if you are compatible by behaving as you naturally are. Females are NOT a hivemind, they don't all act the same, and there's zero point in punishing people whom are not even responsible for your frustration.

It helps to date 2 or more inches below your height though, cultural indoctrination regarding height goes a LONG way and most people can't really get past their "preferences" in that regard.

Seriously though, who on earth would want to date an "asshole"? You'd have to be a total idiot for that. I wouldn't date any female who would have that kind of personality preference, I wouldn't endure them for longer than an hour and a half.

[Shmusername]

You're working on bettering yourself. It sounds like it's already paying off. But you can't expect to get everything all at once. You've gone from "fat" and, I'm assuming, shy, to being fitter, and more outgoing. That's a good thing. Now just remember that all those fit outgoing guys that have girlfriends had to start somewhere, and that involved rejection for them too. Keep doing what you're doing, and don't fall into that "nice guy" trap of blaming them for not being into you. You just need to be patient, and work for it.

[Downanddepressed]

Yea, while I wait, the virgin girls are disappearing

[Shmusername]

Try not to worry too much about that. People put a too much weight, one way or another, on sexual experience.

[Vinvei]

I understand how you feel. I never had a boyfriend to save my life and all the people my age in my year had a boyfriend at least once already. I'm trying to fix my appearance up but I don't know if it'll work.

There are a few tips that I can provide (I researched a lot into this):
-Look into the eyes
This is vital! If two strangers were forced to stare into each other's eyes and talk to each other, they're really likely to fall in love. If you don't keep eye contact then it might be taken as a sign that you don't like the person.
-Smile from time to time
While men who smile rarely seem more attractive according to research, do smile from time to time. You have to seem friendly.
-Spare the compliments
We all love compliments but if they substitute real conversation then it's dull and a bit annoying. Do it, but slip it in gently to seem more sincere.
-Slight touches
Light touch on the shoulder or arm. Do it in a friendly way. We don't touch each other a lot nowadays so it makes it all the more effective - don't make it seem like you're doing it too deliberately, though. Make it all subtle.
-Be yourself
There's traits that you can highlight and camouflage, but show your real personality. Be honest. Being kinder doesn't mean that you have to do charity work 24/7, but you can just be nicer to people overall.

Hope this helps :)

[Downanddepressed]

My question to you, I know you are under 18, but in general, would a 16 or 17 year old girl be interested in a 20 year old guy?

[Vinvei]

Older guys in general seem more attractive and mature, I'd say. Women in general care more about personality rather than age. A lot of the girls my age prefer guys that are older. Personally, I don't really mind to be honest since I'm not a very popular choice to start off with and I know almost no men over the age of 16 in real life lol.

@JulyAndrews Indeed it's kind of disappointing seeing women being generalized. The 'an eye for an eye' logic is not very nice... there's not much difference between the two sexes when it comes to emotion. But I guess it's better to show that not all women are bad and can help? A lot of people have problems at times and with a little talking it's possible to convince them that not everyone is the same :)

[dantesflint]

I won't lie, because I want you to take what I say seriously, so I'll tell you the bad news first: Yes your height is a problem. BUT, having looked at your pictures, not that big of a problem. I have short male friends who are probably 5'7'' too, and one of them is such a looker, it was only when we were living in different countries that I dared to tell him the truth of why I friended him on Facebook in the first place: He's freaking hot and I used to go to sleep (sorry if this offends anyone --) touching myself thinking of him. When I first met him and time to time several years on when I've been single and stalked his photos on facebook. ooooookay I sound creepy enough.

My point is: There's hope for you without a doubt. You're in good shape, but again with the pithy honesty: What you need is extremely suave and charismatic personality. This is hard to explain but for you, I prescribe a laid-back surfer-boy attitude. I think this will match your looks. But remember, "take it easy, but take it." Note that girls (well the sort who will fall for you once you've got personality down-pat anyway) like laid-back guys, but nobody likes a bum and slacker, so you have to be on top of your shit in life.

B-) Hooope this helps. -- As long as you've understood, I'm confident that it should.

[Prof_Don]

Your hatred is blinding you... just because some women rejected u doesn't mean u should hate the entire gender.

There are plenty of awesome women out there bro; those that rejected u are losing out on YOU!

Your pessimism is giving off unattractive vibes to women; u gotta stop this hatred NOW!

[ironeddie]

Well, going by other threads you have started. It's your self esteem that is the problem.

You had a negative outlook because of your weight. You lost the weight and started working out. (Congratulations that is quite an accomplishment) And you changed the outside of yourself. But what have you done on the inside? What have you done to change that?

Putting a fresh coat of paint on a house, doesn't make it a new house.

I feel that you were thinking that by getting buff you would have no problem with women. Unfortunately it takes more than that. And because it hasn't worked out, you're right back where you started.

Either it is/was low self esteem that came out. Or the women thought you were just looking to get laid. And either way, it will be a turn off.

Try getting a book on improving self esteem. Work on that. And I'm sure you will see things change.

[meatballs21]

Lose the attitude and bitterness. You've worked hard to get your new look, be happy with that and go out there and have a good time. You're halfway there looking nice, the other half is being someone who's fun to be around. Just chill out and enjoy yourself, laugh, smile, have some beers, be cool.

[Megalodon]

It's your fault.
Plain and simple. Your not ass ugly. So the fact that so many girls are blowing you off when you ask them out probably means that you come off like a prick or something
You can't blame people for not wanting to go out with you.

[Downanddepressed]

No, I am usually the nice guy. Not anymore

[Johnyoo]

Is it me, or is this guys behaviour just like Elliot Rodgers'? :O

[Downanddepressed]

Not to that extreme

[nicko2552]

i was thinking tha too

[Downanddepressed]

I never said I was going to inflict serious bodily harm

[Johnyoo]

Elliot Rodgers didn't specifically say he was going to kill people, did her, he implied it in his later videos though.

You have a very bad image of women, fuelled by expectations that it would be easy pickings to find and date a girl. You've just come to realise it isn't that easy and demands a lot of self-respect - which you don't have.

[CopyA]

Sounds like it's something within yourself other than girls in general. Being overweight and considering you're just coming out of your hormonal surging years you might be fighting some negative re enforcement thoughts. There is nothing wrong with your height or your weight, in fact you're really good looking! tomorrow is a new day, keep your chin up:)

[Downanddepressed]

I used to be overweight, not anymore

[CopyA]

That's my point. Being overweight during your teen years probably seeded some self esteem issues. Even if you don't feel that way now you may still hold them in your subconscious mind. You're still young so don't worry too much, you'll meet your future girlfriend when the time is right. :)

[Downanddepressed]

Well seeing that virgins are not easy to come by, I may never find her. That is why I am enraged.

[CopyA]

Interesting that from my comment your reply only focused on the weight. You are more than a number on a scale. I hope you won't group some bad apples into a negative opinion about women. Some of us are nice ;)

[CopyA]

So it's women who are at fault for your attitude? Maybe you need to focus more on your inner demons than coming up with excuses and blaming others for how you feel. You can choose to be bitter and unhappy or you can choose to be happy and positive. Good luck to you.

[Iron_Man]

Ok I got it thanks A

[aamy811]

Well honey you got to play the waiting game. I've been on the field since I was 14 and still am not married. Dating takes a lot of time and a lot of misses. Loosing weight isn't just going to make women fall I to your lap, that's a misconception we often have when we have physical insecurities. I remember going on ten dates in 5 month and never getting In a relationship with those guys. Dating takes time and if you want a worthwhile relationship you gotta be willing to wait

[Downanddepressed]

Yeah, why I wait, all the virgins disappear with a blink of an eye

[aamy811]

We'll if you only want virgins then you've limited yourself a lot. There are tons of nice girls who aren't virgins who probably be great for you

[Downanddepressed]

Well virginity is a dealbreaker, so I guess I am too late.

[aamy811]

Yup, just remember. Beggars can't be choosers. Also virginity is nothing, why do people make it a big deal. It's sex, slugs have sex. Having/not having sex is no big deal

[Downanddepressed]

... And I am still in the works of getting a plane ticket to the Phillipines. That is my best option.

[Downanddepressed]

Well I only want a virgin. I am one myself so I hold no double standards. Fair is fair. I just have to get a passport and a visa and a plane ticket out

[aamy811]

Or you could just accept people the way they are and not care. My first two SO's had aleatory had sex, but I didn't care because I liked them and they where nice. Instead of looking for virgins, just look for good people.

[Downanddepressed]

I look for good people who are virgins. Off to the Philippines I go, that is if I have not already lost it and went apeshit.

[aamy811]

Having. Sex isn't apeshit honey, it's just sex. I'm pretty sure I you had already had sex by now, you would understand that it's no big deal.

[Downanddepressed]

That still does not change the fact I will only share my first with another virgin. I go great lengths, even if that means my life is at risk

[Damnangel]

Even if your life is it at risk? What?

[Downanddepressed]

I will do whatever it takes to find that one

[aamy811]

Just please don't risk being in love for virginity. Having sex with a non virgin is probably equally as exciting if you love them. Dot risk being happy because of sex, because at the end of the day it's just sex

[Downanddepressed]

Not just for sex, but it is important

[aamy811]

Not really, it's just virginity. "We fall in love people because of some things, and in spite of others", so even if someone's not perfect; as long as you love them you should be able to overlook their imperfections

[Downanddepressed]

But it is still very important to me

[aamy811]

If you really start dating a lot, you'll realize it's not that important. Make it a preference but not a deal breaker

[Downanddepressed]

You don't understand. That is my greatest fear.

[aamy811]

What? Your afraid of non virgins? Lol what do you think we're going to do, cut your head off. Seriously that's one of the most irrational fears

[Downanddepressed]

No, my greatest fear is not finding a virgin like myself. To share those first moments with a girl who is sharing her's in return. I value that to no end. Something that is incredibly sacred to me. Now I doubt it will happen.

[Downanddepressed]

To me, finding a girl I love who is not a virgin is like mourning the death of a loved one

[aamy811]

Umm okay you've obviously never had a very close loved one die because those aren't even slightly the same. And I dot appreciate you joking like that. Anyways, sex is great if you really live the person your with; if not then obviously you dot love them that much. Also sex is like a new first time whenever your with a new partner, you are now learning how to have enjoyable sex with each other. Also people over value sex, they think that once you have sex you have a super deep impenetrable connect; who is not the case at all. Being in love and enjoying their personality is what makes a relationship worth while, not loosing your virginity together, sex shouldn't be the only thin keeping you together. Sex is special if you make it special, and if your not willing to make it special the. You don't care

[Downanddepressed]

It still sucks the life out of me to find out that bad news

[aamy811]

So falling in love unplanned makes you saf

[aamy811]

Sorry *sad

[crazyincalifornia]

Please don't be too hard on yourself, and for gods sake don't blame women.
Look, dating is an art. Hang with some successful guys to see how it works. Use that knowledge.
For me, nice goes a long long way. If the guy is at least nice, I can overlook a lot of things. If he's not nice he has no chance, at least with me.

[Downanddepressed]

That's what you think, but if an alpha asshole male appeoached you, you would fall for him, no doubt.
But I have something called Asperger's, very very mild. But it hurts my life.

[CopyA]

I know a few people with Aspbergers Syndrome and instead of resenting it why not embrace it and be part of the solution instead of part of the problem? Your issue isn't virgins or women. Your issues are you.

[Downanddepressed]

Yeah, but regardless of what positive changes occur, I cannot change the fact I will not find a virgin girl who I can connect with

[jackyct]

well it's funny cause you actually look like a player, lol.

i can tell you this one thing, for girls, it's not that easy to find relationships either. girls can always have sex, they'll always find someone for that, but beyond that it can get quiet difficult at times, at least for the attractive girls.

don't hate women. why would you? you can't blame the girls who just didn't feel a connection with you. times will get better, trust me. you'll find a mate.

[Downanddepressed]

I want a virgin, and I will make sure I find one. Trust me, it will happen. It may not be the most pleasant method to think about, but it WILL happen. Mark my words.

[jackyct]

well, to find a virgin will be tough these days, lol. you should go to church meetings

[Downanddepressed]

No, I go for girls much younger now.

[Downanddepressed]

And that is probably why I hate women too

[jackyct]

well, that makes you seem like a creep. what are you dating? 15 year old? that's ridiculous and illegal

[Downanddepressed]

I go to great lengths to get what I need. I will find her, even if it ultimately results in my death. I will die fulfilled.

[jackyct]

um yeah, now we all know why you can't find a girl. you're a psycho

[Downanddepressed]

Yes I am. Yes I am. Thank you for pointing that out.
But I used to not be this way. But now I am, and I take personal pride in that.

[Doofey]

he will die filled with trolls

[Roycaryn]

You aren't ugly and while height does make it tough for you, once you've put yourself together right it doesn't quite matter. Oh and singling out virgins and mentioning how you are a "warrior" and how you'd be glad to make any girl cry basically tells me that you're a creep.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Don't ever hate women. It gets you nowhere. You can't hate them for what they are any more than you can hate a lion for eating a gazelle. They are what they are. You just have to learn how to appeal to their instincts.

[bethanynicole31]

What the heck is wrong with you? Maybe the girls that you tried to start a relationship with wanted a jerk, but all of the other girls want a nice guy.. so you changing yourself from a nice guy into a jerk is a mistake in the long run. You need to work on yourself before you even consider starting a relationship with somebody. Stop acting like such a boy and become a man. You're freaking 21. Get your life together.

[latina28]

You are attractive but that wouldn't cut it for me.
I'm a good girl and of course people like looks but I like a guy with a good head on his shoulders and that he is funny/kind/smart.
Oh & I'm 5'3, you're taller
Smile more often; you have a nice smile!

[zombiebabe]

why hate women? you look good.. maybe you are after the wrong ones

[Downanddepressed]

I will treat them like crap now.

[JulyAndrews]

you should do that @Asker

[Downanddepressed]

@JulyAndrews
No way

[Deadinside10]

first thing first you need a better attitude and a better name being bland and blunt is a big turnoff for girls my name is not depressing most would not know what i am talking about unless they read the bible. also you are young its not the end of the world im a virgin to bro but am saving myself for marriage.

[Anonymous]

Who are you punishing by doing this? Random women you'll meet just because you've been ignored/hurt in the past? How does that make sense? Your not looking for quality women anymore. Your looking for anyone vulnerable enough to fall for this shit. Good luck with that.

[Downanddepressed]

I just have to try a different appeoach

[Opinion Owner]

I get that. I really do. I'm looking at it from a female perspective. Being with an asshole sucks. Emotional your a mess and it screw with you big time. Is that the type of women you want though? Because they are definitely out there.

[Downanddepressed]

No, I will screw with her. Literally.

[Opinion Owner]

I hope we never cross paths then. Your out for revenge, not love.

[Downanddepressed]

That effort is over now. There is no love, never will be.

[rjroy3]

Could be your attitude or low self esteem.
It's not all about looks for girls, so I can't really tell without knowing how you interact with women

[croxy]

It's because you will find a hard time getting a woman who will enjoy your shitty personality.