Guy keeps saying he is a bad person, but is nice to me? Is he hinting I should leave him sooner than later?

[Anonymous]

I am completely baffled by this guy. He IS super sweet to me. He is very very nice. I don't really see him being outwardly rude to other people, but I'm sure he could be. He plays hockey... and they fight in hockey... I don't know what that says about him haha. He is just really hard to figure out! Yesterday he said he likes me so he'll always be nice and sweet to me, but not to others. I was really horrified at the comment and it kind of killed the afternoon. Is that really true? Is that really how it is going to be? Was he kidding?

He works in finance. He makes a lot of money. I guess he loves making money. I'm not exactly sure why yet, he just does? He likes all of that power etc.

I just find him entirely confusing. He always opens the door for me... but then he'll make these comments like oh well I just really don't like people walking behind me... I don't think he's being serious, but I seriously can't tell!

An uber driver took us home last night after dinner. I asked the uber guy and he was like well he seems like a nice and normal guy.

I think I am feeling a bit jaded about the weird comments he makes... like loving money, never wanting to do any good in the world, saying he'll only be nice to me, but no one else. He even said he wants to find a girl so they can be on their own little island together. He didn't want to put his sunglasses on the table because that was for "plebians."

He is super chill otherwise! I just don't get it. He talks like he can be such a shallow jerk, but never acts like one.

[Creole_Flavor]

You seem to like the mystery of this guy which can hurt you in the long run. A lot of people wonder who they are dealing with and you have a guy that is basically telling you is a bad guy what more could you want. Even if he is nice you do you honestly think you can be with someone that treats everyone else like shit?

[Asker]

I didn't know he did that until he told me yesterday. It pretty much killed the day.

[Creole_Flavor]

You should listen to him. The last time a guy told me that he didn't deserve me I didn't listen until I ended up in a love square. This guy might care about you by telling you that he is a bad person because he doesn't want to hurt you and by letting you know that you can't fault him if something ever goes wrong.

[Asker]

what is a love square? Yeah, I'm already thinking about how to have this conversation.

[Creole_Flavor]

That's one person that is in love with 3 people lol and good luck with the conversation

[Asker]

I'm so freaked out right now I don't want to sleep!

[Creole_Flavor]

That's bad you don't let someone cause you to lose sleep meanwhile he is probably sleeping like a baby. Try not to think about it think about something else.

[Asker]

well I basically think I'm dating a crazy person now, ha.

[BertMacklinFBI]

seems like he's giving you all the obvious clues of what he will actually be like if you two went more serious and stepped past the casual boundaries.

[Asker]

yeah, maybe? I mean, if that's the case I'll just leave him.

[BertMacklinFBI]

well you will never know until you try BUUUTTT honestly that's how I feel if I put myself in his shoes, like I'm clearly letting you know that I can and will be an asshole if we ever entered a relationship so you have no excuse and I'm not the bad guy since the forewarnings were given.

[BertMacklinFBI]

basically, he's nice to you now, but later down the road everything he told you right now will transpire. and you may have just ended up too deep to leave him on the whim by then, possibly.

[Asker]

interesting perspective. maybe I should just put him on the spot about all of these things.

[BertMacklinFBI]

if he's anything like me he'll openly admit to it without a sweat but at the same time not care lol

[Asker]

does that make him a sociopath? lol

[BertMacklinFBI]

maybe only a little lol. when I say not care I mean like he was being honest to begin with so it wouldn't bother him to agree with you.

[Asker]

yeah, but how could someone be genuinely bad? I don't get that.

[BertMacklinFBI]

he may not be genuinely bad, he has some good drives, its just perhaps the way society would perceive him is "bad", but honestly if you two were to click then it wouldn't matter. some girls TRULY do like being with a guy who has Jax Teller character traits. he's not bad, he's just himself, which most people may not like as much but that doesn't bother him, it's his life.

[Asker]

I think it may be more of that, but I'm not sure. I think he feels he has to be that way or else he'd go nuts. He works in business, big world business... like one of the major companies that runs money for the entire world. He makes a lot of money, talks to people around the world at odd hours. He's really bright, but I think for his job he has to be pretty sharky. I don't see him acting that way towards others in the real world though. Except the other day... someone got too close to me on the sidewalk and he was all about telling me how he'd beat them up if they got too much in my way... so I just say the word and he'll do it. I thought that was weird. We were in a large crowd, of course that would happen. I think he may just want to impress me? He keeps telling me "you gotta give me something here to feel masculine."

[BertMacklinFBI]

wow that's kind of hmm.. whats the word.. I guess scary? he will beat up someone for you if given the word ehh lol. he wants you to help him feel more masculine, or at least give him opportunities to express his masculinity? hmm..

[Asker]

yeah, super weird right?

[Anonymous]

when a guy tells you something negative about himself, you should listen. He's not trying to play games, he's just stating facts. Now the question is, can you accept him for who he is? someone who sounds selfish and materialistic and egotistic? It seems like he's very infatuated with you but who knows how long that will last with guys like that. Basically, believe what he is saying and decide if you are good with it.

[Asker]

I think just asking this question if hint enough of how I think I feel...

[timmy111]

It's like when a female says she is a little crazy... Listen !!!

[Opinion Owner]

yes be careful and decide early on... if you let your feelings develop, I think he'll act more like what he describe once the honeymoon period is over

[singlebee]

Yes you should! He looks like a possessive and controlling douchbag...
He might be doing bad things like robbery or killing people for money...
So you batter be careful... he, might be good around you but that doesn't mean he would be the same when you are not around

[Asker]

True. I have no idea what he is like when I am not around.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a borderline sociopath. Not necessarily a bad thing but always a scary one.

On the other hand he could just be a guy trying to convince himself he's a sociopath because he thinks he needs to be one to succeed because life scares him. Or he could be trying to convince you because he knows some women really go for the whole doberman-guy thing, someone who is fierce and dangerous but devoted to them.

[Asker]

Yeah, I've considered all of these things. I really don't know. He is very hard to read. He works in finance... maybe that's a necessary mindset to succeed?

[tenchu11]

He reminds me of American psycho. How does he treat service staff at restaurants if they does something wrong? is he nice or mean? I have always been told that's a way to judge people

[Asker]

Never seen that? I'm not sure I've ever seen anything go wrong... not yet.

[tenchu11]

It's about a high power business man obsessed with himself and looks that gets off on being a dick to people and ends up being a killer. brsides that he is just insecure loves you abd is over compensating "tell him he doesn't need to be all those things that you'll love him how much or little he can give you"

[Asker]

yeah... sounds familiar. he is a high powered business man... tells me he can buy me anything.

[tenchu11]

That's the only way he knows how to express himself... he can buy your affection? Maybe you need to let him know you aren't like that and love him regardless.

[Asker]

He definitely can't buy my affection, but I think he thinks he can buy his own affection? I think he truly thinks that if he keeps buying things he'll be happier? I don't know... then again his apartment doesn't have that much in it. It's pretty minimalistic. I think? I'm so freaked out right now. I feel like I should end it, but I'd like to have a serious conversation with him. We've only known each other for over a week now, but we've spent a ton of time together. He just finds things out about me and gets super excited b/c we have a lot in common.

[tenchu11]

Maybe his worked so hard to amass his wealth that he sees it as his happiness but you being around gets him more excited and thinks only thing you would find interesting about him is well his wealth.

[Asker]

that's definitely possible. he puts himself down physically. he's really short, taller than me, but short. He's probably 5 ft 5 or 5 ft 7. I'm 5 ft 2. I like that he's short though.

[tenchu11]

Hey I'm 5,8" and taller than most girls as average height... that's not really short

[Asker]

haha yeah, totally fine to be that tall. I'm saying I think he feels bad about it.

[tenchu11]

I mean he probably think if he says those things enough they will happen. Maybe he is just insecure.

[Asker]

I'm watching American psycho right now. I'm SO freaked out!

[tenchu11]

Is he like that?

[Asker]

Not entirely. I don't know. I never see him around people, but when I do he's always nice. We saw a concert Friday night and he was super excited to talk to the artist about how much he liked them. He's only rude to people when they seemingly upset me.

[Beckz0811]

If he's telling you he's a bad person believe him he probably is... good people don't say that... it sounds like you like him though so just keep your eyes open and don't let him get the bets of you

[Asker]

I guess I was just shocked by his statement because he has been so nice to me. I laughed b/c I thought he was kidding, but he said he wasn't. It was so weird

[Anonymous]

You asked this earlier.

[Anonymous]

It's easy to dupe a girl those first interactions.

[Asker]

we've been on like 5 dates now though.

[Anonymous]

yeah you should.

[Asker]

so what do I do? just end it?

[Anonymous]

Dump him

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