Why do girls not respond on tinder or dating sites?

[Anonymous]

Tinder Example: I'll match with someone on tinder, send a message, but then they won't answer... Yet they stay on my matched list? Wtf?

POF Example: Well this one, barely any girls reply and if they do, the convo lasts a few responses, then they disappear. Wtf? Then you try sending them another message a few days later and they dont respond wtf is that?

Updates

+1 y

Another example: Some women gave me her number off POF. We texted that evening then she didn't respond. 2 days later says she had dropped her phone in the sink and left her phone in a bag of rice. I replied, she didn't. I text her 2 days later and no reply. Wtf

[Anonymous]

Blame it on other guys, it honestly sucks. Since guys generally prefer the hotter girl, an attractive girl would get more messages. Since guys are generally more driven by their egos then their looks, even if they are in the bottom 20% of guys looks wise, they will still try to get with a girl who might be in the top 20% looks wise. Therefore you get this effect that 80% of guys are messaging 20% of girls, so the obviously attractive girls are getting 80% of the messages because they are attractive and every guy wants them. Not only does this make it frustrating for guys because every other guy also wants the girl, it also leaves out not so attractive girls who might only get messages from creepers who are all alone and just want sex. So as a guy, if you are messaged on tinder you think its a big deal because women dont message that often (why should they message you if they have 10 messages in their inbox, 5 of which are from guys just as attractive as you (assuming your average)), but to women if they receive a message from a guy, its not a big deal because it happens every day, they just kinda file it away. Honestly some guys are just so stupid, they are almost like animals. Just go online and pretend to be a girl and see how many sad virgins message you, heck, make a tinder account as a girl and you will see what I mean when I say girls get a TON of messages. Its sick, I wish guys weren't so annoying in that regard.

[BigPunny]

Women get bombarded with messages on dating sites. It's pretty sad, actually. And if you want to understand it for yourself, completely, then create a female profile and watch.

Women often stop checking their messages because they get so many that it's ridiculous to try and keep up. So don't take it personally, but they literally get bombarded with 20+ messages per day if they're active.

I created a profile, made one semi-sexual comment, and within an hour I had over 100 responses. That was on PoF, Whisper, and Meetme. It's pretty sad, actually.

[Asker]

I have seen some youtube video of people doing this. Some of the women getting 50+ messages, it's a joke really

[BigPunny]

I don't know if your response of "it's a joke really" is suggesting that it's not real or doesn't happen, or if you're saying it's sad that men do that.

I can assure you - it happens as I've witnessed it happen on numerous occasions. It's sad. And no, I'm not talking about YouTube videos. I'm talking about it actually happening.

[Asker]

I ment it as " It's sad". Its the UK version of it lol

[BigPunny]

Ahh. lol. Gotcha'. :)

[charades]

I had a guy ask me this on POF once - why was I stalling about going out when we had a good conversation online. The honest answer was 'cause I was deluged with messages and a number of the guys seemed interesting enough to go on a first date, but I can't fit five first dates a week into my schedule, right? So if there are ten different guys I'm talking to online, somebody's got to be at least two weeks in the future. This sounds harsh, I know, but the only way I know to avoid it is to reject more guys at the first messages...
For the record, he got mad and told me he was done talking to me, and I guess what he really wanted was that he was the only (or most) interesting guy on the whole millions-of-men site, and I get why he'd want that (even though I'm certain I'm not the only woman he was talking to), but you know so little about a person after three Plenty of Fish messages

[Asker]

His reaction was understandable. What he understood from your response is that you left him on the back burner, and no one likes that. Not only that but mentioning you "can't fit 5 first dates in a week" meant you were actively dating AT LEAST a handful of guys a week, which in all honesty sounds like a joke. Even I dont understand that. Basically everyday of the week you had a date and he wasn't included

[charades]

I'm totally sympathetic to his reaction. I'm just trying to answer your question, and his: if I take a long time to respond to a guy I'm genuinely curious to talk to, it's because women in online dating get TONS of messages and it's hard to keep up unless you make up some silly filters like "I'll only date guys exactly my age between the heights of 5'9" and 6'0" and who say they like astronomy." For the record, I wouldn't be able to keep up with the rest of my life if I went on five dates a week, it's just an exaggeration to make the point, but at one date a week he would've just been on a more distant back burner.

[Asker]

I understand you are simply answering the question. Thanks. But this is exactly why online dating is a joke, mostly for guys at least. You mentioned how you had a good conversation online, yet you didn't include him as a priority.. Even after being serious and him asking why you were stalling. You maybe even potientially lost a good thing with him purely because you were bombarded with other supposed "interesting people", which you made it clear he didn't do well enough in his convo. This is why I dont bother asking the WHY. I take things at face value when dealing with girls. Just another example, I myself, am not a big texter or writer. I actually do much better in person instead of hiding behind a screen and texting without any emotional context behind the words. So if what you are saying is right, every girl I talk to on there, will next me purely on my text game, which is sad. I understand effort, but keeping it going in the hopes of maybe getting a date doesn't sound worth it to me.

[charades]

Sorry my answer is irritating. I didn't include him as a priority 'cause he wasn't the only good conversation and he wasn't the only one who seemed serious. Of course I've missed out on a good thing - there are a million men on POF every night and I only dated half a dozen of them, but I can't possibly date every guy who might turn out to be a good relationship. Why is it sad that I'm judging guys just by what they say online when all I know of them is what they say online? It's funny - if I were quicker to dismiss guys and narrow down which men I'm writing back to, my expectations are too high and my filters too shallow; if I correspond with several guys but date only once a week, I'm leading men on. How is it that you think women SHOULD behave?

[Anonymous]

Well, with dating sites I'll only answer some guys back. I get an overwhelming amount of messages daily/nightly. I try to answer those that seem legit, like took time to read my profile and asked about something I wrote. I don't respond to the ones asking for sex. If I have been talking back and forth for a bit, and the guy doesn't seem like a good match, I'll let him know it's not working, I don't stop communicating. Something like

"Hi, [name]. You're a nice guy, but I'm just not feeling it. I wish you the best of luck." and usually have gotten mature respectable responses.

If they aren't answering back, they may be talking to other guys more and you just didn't keep their attention I'm afraid. Keep trying, though.

[Asker]

I do that myself and yet most dont even answer anyways. I know im good looking because IRL I have girls checking me out all the time. To me, it just seems like most of the girls on there, are there purely for the ego boost of having so many guys message and compliment them. This makes it harder to keep their interest levels up because I guess I am "competing" with hundreds of other dudes.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't doubt that some are there for the ego boost. It makes it difficult I think, there are more men sending out messages, and maybe not enough women on there. I don't know... but for me, I get hundreds of messages and it's sometimes too much to answer. It sucks for those really trying to connect and find someone.

[Asker]

It doesn't suck for women... It sucks for men, and only men

[Opinion Owner]

That is your opinion.

[Asker]

Sounds more like a fact. Look at the responses from the guys on here. The women control who they want to talk to on there, on top of the endless compliments they receive

[Opinion Owner]

So if a woman sends out a message to a guy she matched with, likes, and doesn't get a response, it doesn't suck for her? Everyone has their troubles, not just men. Some women have an easier time and don't have to deal with this, but not all.

[Hannah591]

My app doesn't tell me when I have a new message so I can forget about Tinder for days before I decide to go on it to check (most have unmatched then). So that's a major reason. I don't know why a girl wouldn't reply if she's matched with you. Maybe she doesn't use the app any more, she's not interested in you any more and she's too nice to tell you or your message has been lost.

The girl you're texting now may genuinely have damaged her phone and is unable to reply or she's no longer interested but maybe give her the benefit of the doubt.

[Yeahno12]

A lot of girls tend to swipe right on 'eh he'll pass' or 'cute, but not my usual type' guys as well as 'definitely my type' guys. So that's why they selectively message; there's a sort of hierarchy (in terms of priority) in their match list. Also, some girls especially the attractive ones, get messaged a lot, and therefore cannot possibly reply to all their messages and some go unnoticed accidentally.

Sorry if this sounded harsh, the balls now in the girls' court, and you better just move onto the next pretty girl!

[XRabbitHeartX]

When I do that it's often a indication that someone else has caught my attention and I'm not so focused on a person that I'm not even interested in others at that point. Also sometimes I read through the profile again and realize it's maybe not such a good match.

[Broswater]

You are bang on lady. Female friend of mine showed me her POF feed recently; HUNDREDS of messages. So yeah, girls have the advantage in he online dating world. Brother has to be patient to interest one.

[XRabbitHeartX]

@Broswater

For me though it's like once I get a connection with a guy he is all I tend to want to talk to. I'm trying to change this now though. Recently I've given most people I match with a go cause I might be missing out on great guys by putting all my eggs in the same basket :)

[Broswater]

Depends what you want. Usually when I find a girl I like after 1-2 dates I try to focus on her. Having options makes one to picky I find. So at least I can give it a try for real rather than running girls trough a , excuse the expression, "sausage machine" :)

[XRabbitHeartX]

@Broswater

Well respect to you for thinking like that! I also think the more options i have the more picky I become. Maybe I should also just do the 1-2 dates thing.

[Broswater]

The other thing I realized also, is that by doing it this way; I do not burn all the potential matches in my area too fast. Every girl I date deserves no less than my full attention !

[Jay-Are]

One tip. Never listen to the excuses.

Girls have many more options than guys. Probably more than they can handle. If she had to react to every guy she would not have time for other basic stuff like eating and sleeping. It doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't like you. She may not have had time to react yet or she might not have decided yet or she might not like you or she might like somebody else more.

Just accept it, be patient and in the meantime keep swiping. You may find somebody you like better than her.

[MusicMayhem]

If something isn't working, you have to change what you do. Best thing I learnt from online dating is make the 1st message short and simple. You don't have to win her over, sounding like the funniest guy with the best job from message one. You just have to say a basic hello like you would someone IRL and mention something in her profile.

The first message is hard but once she responds, conversation usually comes easy. When I first started I was lucky to get 1 response per week I sucked that bad trying too hard, giving away my life story and asking too much about her. I'm not the prettiest guy, but now if I so wished, I could get 5 responses per day. Which still isn't heaps, but more than enough to start getting some dating options.

Try a different approach and you will get there. All the best ☺

[meatballs21]

Maybe your opening message sucks.
Maybe they weren't that into you.
Maybe some other guy has beaten you to it.

I know how you feel. It seems like nothing you say or do works, even with girls you seem to have a lot in common with. Eventually I learned to not be bothered by it and move on with my life. Tinder especially, the conversation died before it even got going in 90% of cases, which was infuriating at first given I'd swipe right and be immediately told they'd already swiped right for me.

[Kinstrome]

Attractive-looking (or decent-looking) women wake up to hundreds of messages sometimes, so it may take a little while for them to get back to you.

But yeah, I've experienced what you're talking about. Online dating does not necessarily work out better than meeting people in real life.

[devilish-cutie]

I hat ewhen people act like that in general
I think many people are just too much don't give a fuck to give a person a straight out no caue it might make them feel bad
so they go with that method, pretend it didn't happen, ignore, forget, oblivion
sometimes a lot of people just don't know what they want

[RedRain]

I'm not really sure, but this may help you? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22032-online-dating-expert-coach-t-anthony-online-dating-is-like-a-bar

[Northeast106]

No idea, it's really competitive on those dating sites though. You have to imagine how many messages the more attractive women receive in a day. Being an ugly guy, or an ugly girl on a dating site makes it much harder to find someone. Dating is mostly based on looks, personality comes second.

[Alexious]

Because women have 100's of matches on dating sites. They can pick anyone they like. I only ever got 4 matches on Tinder, each a waste of time.

Fuck online dating dude, it's pointless. Go out somewhere and ask a girl out, she's why less likely to turn you down in person bro.

[bloodmountain1990]

It's frustrating but it happens. I imagine it's because they either are busier talking to ones they're more interested in or they accidentally swiped, which I have done as well. What's worse is when you start talking to a tinder match or someone on a dating site and you ask them a question and they flat out ignore you for whatever reason.

[tenchu11]

hint it ones texted a girl "my favorite dinosaur is a t-Rex but I'm sad because their arms are too small to hug :(

She replied back. Gotta be more than another "hey, hi, hello, sup? Or random dick pic"

[BruceJender]

I'm above average looking, and I have the same issues.

I think out of 10 girls, only one gave her number.

Girls use these sites with really high expectations.

[ixi10]

Cause they don't like you

[QuestionMan]

This ^ lol

[Intellectiskey]

Online dating sites suck because girls are getting so many messages that they can pick through whoever they want. So you are most likely not a priority to them.

[Sara413]

They get a lot of matches and messages... so they respond very selectively.

[throwit]

They're probably on just to do the swiping thing and to get swiped lol

[WhatTheHellAmy]

You're not the girls' type?
That could be a reason

[Asker]

Right, so out of the 50 girls I've messaged, none found me attractive? lol i dont buy that

[WhatTheHellAmy]

Oh okay... my bad. I didn't know that lol

Oh man, I don't know. Maybe you don't know how to start conversations XD

[Asker]

Im everythinng someone wants. but I noticed when I send em something completely random they will answer. Fucking stupid lol

[WhatTheHellAmy]

You're so cocky XD

Well, there you have it, send random texts.

[Crazyced]

That's actually a good way to do it. At that stage girls just want to have fun (especially with the amount of offers they get). Be too formal and typical and they'll drop you like a hat. Say the most ridiculous shit and you'll keep them hooked.

Once you got them really interested in you them you can introduce more formal stuff (if you want).

[Asker]

@Crazyced Well if you dont mind that then by all means use that advice. I just can't deal with that stuff, its just feeding their egos and boredom

[chrisbigman]

Are you sending them bad or creepy messages or nude pics? If so, then that's probably why. If not, then I don't know. This is why I'm single and why I enjoy being single.

[Asker]

I am at the point of just not wanting to deal with girls anymore. Even though I am 24

[mutedaisy]

Because there are 100 other guys messaging them at the same time.

[Levin]

Cause you, we, men, are not even fit to lick their shoe!