Boyfriend forced me to eat?

Ok I'm 60 kg wanted to get to 50. I used to have an eating disorder so I don't like being controlled about food at all.

Boyfriend came to visit today to find out that I'd been water fasting for 4 days now. I was happy cos of the weight loss, but I had a high fever cos of toxins being released.

He said eat or he'll break up and he made me eat a massive sandwich, smoothie and chicken. I am mad because it is my own body, I need to lose weight and tone up for myself and for the relationship, I've been stressed recently because a few other girls have been hitting on him. Then he makes me eat and wastes my efforts?
I friggin feel so helpless right now. Help!!!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm sorry but if you feel you need to lose weight to save the relationship, well it sounds like you may still have an eating disorder. They don't really go away, you just learn new techniques on how to live with disordered eating. It's not like a light switch where you can just turn it off. There are always going to be things that trigger you (like stress) and you have to find tools and tricks to deal with those things.

    It's not right of him to try and force you to eat. Forcing is not really helping the problem, it's only going to make you want to fast more. The best way is to find someone who you trust to talk about this. The best would be to talk to a professional.

    The problem is you reacted to your boyfriend getting hit on by thinking it means you need to do something to prevent him from leaving. In your head, that meant losing weight. But it sounds like he's happy with you as you are, or else he wouldn't be with you. But that's the problem with having an eating disorder, it's hard to see these things.

    I totally get the worry he will leave. I've been anxious in past relationships because I'm a bigger person and I always feel like I'm not good enough. But the thing is, we are all good enough. We just have to ignore those voices in our heads that tell us we're not.

    I would seek out some help. There is nothing wrong with being healthy and wanting to be fit. But not eating for 4 days isn't healthy and it's not a sustainable way to keep weight off. You're body needs nutrition.

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    • Thanks! I wish you the best!

What Guys Said 11

  • you're doing it the wrong way thats why.

    lose weight the healthy and right way man, he won't have a problem with that.

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  • That's kind of absurd of him to threaten you in such a way. The potential emotional consequences could be devastating. I don't think he thought that one through.
    Regardless though, I think you clearly have undiscussed issues with him that the two of you need to acknowledge. I suggest doing so before any sort of anger buildups and creates a wedge in your relationship.

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  • Son of a bitch, trying to keep you alive because he cares about you and likes the way you look now! Kick his sorry ass to the curb!

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    • Hahahaaa this made me laugh

  • He was justifiable concerned for your health. Water fasting and 'de-toxing' is bullshit. Dangerous bullshit.

    You want to lose weight and tone up? Eat a healthy balanced diet and exercise. Starving yourself like this will (and was) make you sick.

    It sounds like you're not over that eating disorder, either.

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  • At least your boyfriend cares about your health considering you clearly don't. You'd rather starve to death than eat a sandwich.

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    • "Water fasting"? The heck is that? Do you know what they call it in medical terms? Malnutrition.

    • P. S. You say this: ""I used to have an eating disorder""

      Newsflash... you still do.

  • Are you nuts? Fasting for days. You've got a fever because you etc isn't working properly and you're cells are being ruptured. Your metabolism is breaking down. Why do people value looks over health. Your boyfriend done you a favour. He should be dragging you up to see a head shrinker as well before you end up dead

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  • He didn't force you. You decided that you preferred to continue being his girlfriend.

    Besides, he was right to intervene.

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  • I'd say cut him a little slack. It was a decision of passion in the moment. He meant well. How tall are you? cause 60kg isn't that big.

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  • Do you know that he wanted you alive?

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  • He's just taking care of you in his own way. Try to be logical here. Please.

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  • You still have a eating disorder and just stopping eating is very unhealthy for you

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What Girls Said 4

  • a water fast? he's extremely worried about you, you should know better if you have had a previous eating disorder. if you feel like you are relapsing get help because if the will to get rid of it doesn't come from within you, you won't ever get better. 50 kg is a reasonable goal unless you are extremely tall, research on ways to lose weight without fasting it's much easier than you think. i honestly advise you to not try to lose anything without talking to a professional.

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  • I would dump him!

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  • Your efforts involving killing yourself by means of starvation. Your boyfriend did the right thing.

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  • Does water fasting mean that you only live on water?

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    • Yes.

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    • It's okay. xD

    • If it gets to the stage where you are clearly harming yourself - which you will be by not eating for four days - I don't think "forcing" is bad. He didn't tie you down.

      He isn't going to leave you for someone thinner. If he wanted you thinner he'd have allowed you to continue starving yourself.

      But it's a question of self-esteem and control over your own life and body. Ask him to concentrate on helping you improve your self-esteem and allowing you control over your life. However, being in control doesn't mean being allowed to starve yourself. If you do that, you should have control removed.

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