My parents don't like my girlfriend because she's black. What should I do?

Question

I'm really upset. I had no idea my parents had those kind of feelings for black people. Okay so my girlfriend is black and I'm white. She's 20 and I'm 21. We both go to the same college and have been dating for 2 months or so. I really like her a lot and decided it was time to show her to my parents. This is what happened:

We arrive at the door step.

Me: Hi mom and dad. This is Ashley. The girl I've been telling you about.

mom: You never mentioned she was black.

dad: hi nice to meet you Ashley.

my dad interrupted because there was an awkward silence. Anyway, later on my dad says this IN PRIVATE!!!

DAD: son, your mother and I both agree that you can't be race mixing in the family. Can't you find a nice blonde or blue eyed girl to date?

me: dad, I love her.

DAD: you guys will fail. She's a obama supporter and you know we hate obama.

I never cared about politics but she wears obama shirts sometimes and she happened to be wearing one while meeting my parents.

Thoughts? are my parents right? I really like her a lot. We both are even studying the same major.

I know my parents are racists now. You don't have to repeat it again. I already know but I had no idea they would be like this with someone I'm dating. Has anyone ever experienced anything similar.

I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO SAY I MET HER PARENTS AND THEY NEVER MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT ME BEING WHITE!!! NOTHING AT ALL!!!

thesongwentonforever · Accepted Answer

If you really love and care for this girl (and I believe you do), don't leave her because of your parents.
As someone before me has said before, you're now an adult and can make your own choices, your parents can only make suggestions, but you have the last say in your own life.
Way to go for not wavering already, and sticking up for her and yourself!
If I were you, I'd have a sit-down talk with them, just you and the 'rents, when things are cooled down. Have them explain to you why they feel this way, and (nicely) clarify what they have wrong.
But if you really like this girl, stay with her.

dogsandyoga · Accepted Answer

You're not a little child anymore, and your parents can't rule your life like they used to. You're an adult now. Soon, you'll move out of home, get a job, marry and start your own family. You will live a life of your own, and your parents can no longer have a say in how you choose to live YOUR life. If you love this girl, date her, be with her, marry her, whatever you want to do. You're at that age now where your parents don't play such a big role in your life, and their opinions are less valid. Not to mention the fact that they are clearly racist, which is good reason to NOT validate their opinions.

COCOCHANEL · Accepted Answer

they're not racist, they're xenophobic.

if a japanese boy from any kind of decent family brought home a white, black, etc girl you can bet the parents would slam the door in her face. no joke.

on a separate note, people should be careful about their appearance when meeting their bf/gf's family for the first time, would she wear those obama tshirts to an interview? why didn't she think about how letting a tshirt scream her political views might affect how people view her?
first impressions are VERY important.

RJGraveyTrain · Accepted Answer

No, you're parents aren't right. I'm sorry, but they're idiots. You just need to tell them that you respect how they feel (even if you don't) but you can and will decide how to live your life. And from there just keep her away from them and keep your relationship private from them if and until they can get over themselves.

TheSwedishGuy · Accepted Answer

Tell them, while being dead serious, that they better change their attitude and accept her as your girlfriend or they will no longer be a part of your life.

I don't know how low they are willing to go but if they support you with college funds and threaten to cut them just ask them "Mum, dad, do you love me?". Hopefully the answer you'll get is "Yes" or "Of course we do" or something similar. Then you respond with a dead serious "Nice way of showing it" and walk out.

Do everything you can to make them feel really really guilty about this and hopefully they will change their minds eventually.

Superlolp · Accepted Answer

Well then, screw your parents! wait that came out wrong

lostgirl_searching · Answer

Well you are 21 and they can't tell you what to do. If you are happy with and love her like you have said be with her.
I date white guys, and people have asked my parents if they were okay with it and they said yes, if she's happy while dating white guys, we will be happy as well.
I have not experience this yet. My boyfriend mom and his sister was very nice unless they pretented and talked behind my back and same goes with his dad when I first met him.

MarkRet · Answer

I'm white, and have two daughters. One is married to a white guy and the other one is unattached. If she gets involved with a guy, I'd prefer him to be a white guy, just because of customs and similarities, but I'm open-minded enough if he weren't a white guy. Love IS what it is.

meatballs21 · Answer

You're 21, you can make your own decision. One of them might be to stand your ground and stay committed to your girlfriend, and they can like it or lump it. You might find this drives a wedge between you and your parents. Not a good situation whatever way it goes.

SeraBarton · Answer

Your parents are just racist, and I feel so awful that you have to deal with that😞

Just remember they're wrong and they're older so the grew up in the 80s when people weren't as nice about interracial couples. If you love her then you should be with her and if your parents aren't ok with it then who cares what they think?

Anonymous · Answer

No, your parents aren't correct.

Keep dating her. If it gets more serious still, you'll have more shit to deal with. But maybe they'll adjust over time. Some racist people don't change, some do, and some have really incredible abilities to hate groups of people except for all the individual members of that group they personally know who are all 'okay'.

SarahsSummer · Answer

Your mom said that right in front of her? Wow. I strongly suggest you begin distancing yourself from your parents. Nobody needs ignorance attempting to influence their life.

Intraluminal · Answer

You *are* an adult now... Right? Do the adult thing. If you love her, you love her. That's it.

Nightshades · Answer

well believe in your parents no need to throw them away for some girl. also mixing political ideals never works out well.

Anonymous · Answer

You're parents aren't racist, just ignorant about other races. My parents are mixed and both sides of their family's had issues about it however, my dad thought my mom was beautiful and vice versa. Don't let words discourage you from being happy, if you truly like her then don't stop bringing her around your parents, let them get to know the side of her you fell in love with. I wouldn't suggest going against your parents but talk about it with your girlfriend and later with them.

Nadzzz · Answer

just don't leave her. your parents will get used to the idea of you dating her and will start liking her when they know her better

Anonymous · Answer

i can say as a black girl this has happened before to me he listened to his parents and dumped me and now he's asking for me back again moral if the story if you really love someone it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. everyone not gone like y'all together but it ain't everybody reltionship is it?

Anonymous · Answer

If you knew beforehand that your parents felt that way and still decided to date her, then I would think you are in the wrong.
But since they never made their feelings about that kind of stuff clear to you, then it is their fault.

Aryameltem · Answer

i really feel sorry about your girlfriend and her lovely family. your parents aren't right! please dont let them say such things about your gf's skin color. protect her from your family!

Anonymous · Answer

So your parents are racist, like so many Americans. Racism is condoned by Trump's voters.  Just accept it.

Lucifer_666 · Answer

I agree with what others said. You're an adult so you can do whatever you want

Anonymous · Answer

Dude just dont bring her to your folks klan meetings. Jk but seriously fuck them bro. If they dont want what you want for you that makes them the enemy.

Anonymous · Answer

I think you should talk to your parents, tell them how much you care about her. I wouldn't stop dating her even if they dont understand

Pineapple223 · Answer

If u love her will be with her no matter what ur parents say.

Anonymous · Answer

Burn a black cross in your parents yards well dressed up in black robs and black pointy hats

ThisDudeHere · Answer

Your parents are stupid. Ignore them.

My parents don't like my girlfriend because she's black. What should I do?

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