Would you date someone you don't find physically attractive?

[Anonymous]

people say looks dont matter and all but that stuff is not true. looks does matter in a way.

Yes

No

[Anonymous]

I dated a girl for a year a while back. I loved everything about her but for some reason I couldn't put my finger on I just didn't want to have sex with her.

I. hated myself for it. I forced myself to do it with her but it got to the point I wasn't even having orgasms anymore (weird coming from a guy). I. loved her so much as a person I didn't want to hurt her self esteem so I never said anything.

Well anyway she eventually saw through it and dumped me. It was very painful because she was the first person I met that "understood" me. She refused to be friends or even any kind of contact afterwards. This haunted me for years because if it wasn't for that attraction problem I would have bought a ring.

So point being, do NOT date someone you are not attracted to. You are hurting them and your yourself if you do.

[bloodmountain1990]

Agreed with the last part. I would also advise the opposite occurs too. Never date someone who is hot but has a horrible personality and displays a lot of red flags. That can be very damaging to your self esteem as well.

[Opinion Owner]

@bloodmountain1990 yeah I've been in that scenario too. In fact I think that problem is much more common with dudes. We get stupid around hot women and many of them abuse it.

[bloodmountain1990]

Yep, it's called being blinded or looking through rose tinted glasses. It's like the red flags just look like flags when you look through rose tinted glasses. I've learned that the hard way.

I mean there's flaws/quirks but then there's red flags and you should always keep those in check.

[thatguyfromtoronto]

Look let's all stop beating around the bush, obviously looks matter for both girls and guys. It's the expectation or how high your standards are. If you're a dork and you are not good looking and chasing after girls who look like supermodels, uh yeah, you may want to lower your standards.

Now sure, there are guys out there who can back up their game with money, or being strong/protective or even really funny and those traits work. But for me, I would rather be single than to choose someone I am not physically attracted to because I don't want to be with someone I don't like because then the relationship is just a facade.

[MissMinaaaa]

Attraction is definitely important for sure, and considering this is real life and not some hollywood blockbuster-- it's probably unlikely that other people believe that they would in a realistic setting. HOWEVER, there have been cases where I see a guy and don't really find them attractive at all (not necessarily ugly, just not my type), become friends and get to know them, but somehow I slowly develop a crush for some reason. I still may find people more "handsome" but I did still develop attraction nevertheless. So I think you can grow attracted to somebody, but I don't think it'd ever work out if people get into a relationship with somebody and finding them not physically attractive at some point.

[RiYad]

Why?
Girls say they don't feel physical attraction before knowing the person. For women, it's a lot more typical to need a little bit more to feel physical attraction. When they see guys doesn't matter how hot they are they won't feel any attraction physically or sexually until they know him a little bit and until interaction with him.

Isn't personality is everything for women? Before knowing guys personalty girls don't experience physical attraction.

[MissMinaaaa]

@RiYad Why for which part?

Well, I am a girl and yes I have felt physical attraction before I met them (Chris Hemsworth for example). I don't know what girls you talk to if they have never thought a random guy was hot. Physical attraction is not the same as sexual attraction. Some people have it tied together side-by-side but others who aren't willing to screw every cute guy they see, look at those two traits separately. Personality is key, and is needed for every relationship FIRST. But physical attraction must be had either had first or at least grown to be physically attractive. Are you gonna get into a serious relationship/marry someoneand one day look at them and say "She is such a sweet and loving girl, but to be honest she's not even that great looking/Ugly even."
If so, that is abnormal.

[RiYad]

Thinking someone hot and feel physical attraction is different think. Girls also think others girl is hot but do they feel physical attraction when they see hot girls?

If yes then ok.

But most girls say before knowing them person guys and girls are just another person to them. No attraction no tingle

[lumos]

No I wouldn't, because I can't have sex with someone I'm not attracted to. Nor would it be fair to him to be in a relationship where he isn't fully appreciated for everything he is (looks + personality). Attraction is a huge part of a relationship. It's what makes you want to put effort into it. If I'm only attracted to his personality, I'll only be capable of seeing him as a friend. The only kind of love I'll ever feel for him will be more family-like, and not a passionate romance type of love. My heart would easily end up falling for someone else. And like I said that wouldn't be fair.

[bloodmountain1990]

Yep plus as a man, if you have sex with a girl you're not attracted to, you might have a hard time getting "hard" which is awkward and they get insulted by it.

[RiYad]

Why?
Girls say they don't feel physical attraction before knowing the person. For women, it's a lot more typical to need a little bit more to feel physical attraction. When they see guys doesn't matter how hot they are they won't feel any attraction physically or sexually until they know him a little bit and until interaction with him.

Isn't personality is everything for women? Before knowing guys personalty girls don't experience physical attraction.

[lumos]

@RiYad that's nonsense.

[bloodmountain1990]

@RiYad physical attraction is what draws you in, personality determines whether you or they will stay. End of story

[RiYad]

What nonsense?

I get this idea from Gag girls. Are they from different planet?

All of them say when they see guys and girls they can just recognize them as different gender. But don't feel anything until get to know them, until talk to them.

[lumos]

@RiYad you're talking about actual *feelings*, and not just feelings of attraction. It's true that girls (and guys too tbh) can't fall for someone just based on looks. But we do feel attracted to people because of looks, that's completely normal. However, to actually fall for someone you need to get to know them as a person too.
Don't confuse being attracted to someone with falling for someone. They're two completely different things. It's very easy to be attracted to someone as that's usually just based on looks, and girls can do that too regardless of any other feelings.

[RiYad]

I am talking about women in general.

Because girls on gag (from different planet) say they don't feel physical attraction before knowing the person. For women, it's a lot more typical to need a little bit more to feel physical attraction. When they see guys doesn't matter how hot they are they won't feel any attraction physically or sexually until they know him a little bit and until interaction with him.

Yes I am talking about initial attraction not about actually fall for someone.

[lumos]

@RiYad I've literally never seen anyone on here claim that they can't be physically attracted to someone without knowing them first. I've only seen girls say that they can't fall for someone without knowing their personality first. Which like I said are two different things.

[RiYad]

Every time I see this on GAG that
Weather it's hot guy or average guy girls react same to both. It's just a neutral acknowledge or appreciation. If the guy propose them, if the guy show interest towards them, then after a good conversation, after knowing their personality - girls start to feel attraction.

Before this steps attraction can never happen. Because women's nature is to be desired, no feel desire.

So, visually they don't experience any attraction.

[RiYad]

Attraction- feel butterflies, tingle, throbbing and sensational feelings

[lumos]

@RiYad I disagree.

[RiYad]

Disagree about what?

[SnowyOwl]

Looks needn't be perfect, nor even the imaginary ideal. If someone has the right personality for us, then looks only need to be passable. Over time, a person develops more attraction towards their significant other if the personalities were compatible in the first place. Its much harder to dislike someone's personality at first and gradually start to like it. e. g. if you love being outdoors and your drop dead gorgeous boyfriend hates to see the light of day, then overtime you will find him less beautiful as he perpetually rejects going for a walk to the park (idk, just an idea)

[RiYad]

So, you can date anyone if they have personality? Looks and height doesn't matter?

[SnowyOwl]

@RiYad well, if you read what I wrote I said looks dont need to be perfect "perfect" but rather "passable". And I say "passable" in quotation marks because this really depends on the person. We all have our limits, but I'm saying that when you are choosing whether you like someone or not, you shouldn't just base it on "oh her eyes are not blue", "oh he needs to work out more", "oh, their teeth are not completely straight", "oh, they should have a nose surgery"... That is all superficial, it can be changed. But then, you shouldn't get with someone if inside your head you are putting conditions such as "I'll be with this person because I am sure they can change this, or I can convince them to do that". Like them for their personality, It took years to build and it is probably the most stable thing they have, so you can't let it pass second

[RiYad]

Girls say they don't feel physical attraction before knowing the person. For women, it's a lot more typical to need a little bit more to feel physical attraction. When they see guys doesn't matter how hot they are they won't feel any attraction physically or sexually until they know him a little bit and until interaction with him.

That's why I ask this.

[OlderAndWiser]

People who say that "looks don't matter" are either telling a lie or speaking strictly for themselves. For most of us, physical attraction is an absolute ingredient for a good romantic relationship.

[AleDeEurope]

Damn, so many desperate people on GAG xD

Looks do matter, when people say they don't matter, they mean they don't matter as much as personality.
So no, I would not date a girl I don't find attractive.

[Asker]

i know right.. so many desperates lol.

[bloodmountain1990]

Both are important. If a girl is attractive but is boring or has a bland personality then talking to them would be awkward. If they're a cool person but aren't physically attractive, like at all, then kissing and sex would be awkward.

[EpicDweeb]

Yes, but I already learned something a while ago. The more you create an emotional attachment to a person, the more you find them beautiful and attractive. You don't have to find a person physically attractive to love then, and as you learn to love them more you can grow to find yourself physically attracted to them.

[blueguy932000]

I've met girls before who I didn't find physically attractive initially, but then later on after I got to know them for who they are, I see them differently. Basically, once I find a girl's personality attractive, I find her physically attractive as well.

[Fitness-Fanatic]

I believe looks matter to everyone. If appearance wasn't taken into consideration then people would just date everyone and anyone. We all have our own preferences

I'm initially attracted to a guys appearance, but his personality determines if I continue to date him or not

[RiYad]

Girls say they don't feel physical attraction before knowing the person. For women, it's a lot more typical to need a little bit more to feel physical attraction. When they see guys doesn't matter how hot they are they won't feel any attraction physically or sexually until they know him a little bit and until interaction with him.

Isn't personality is everything for women? Before knowing guys personalty girls don't experience physical attraction.

Girl's don't feel any attraction physically or sexually when they see hot guys. They have to talk with him or they have to have some chemistry with him because girls don't experience attraction visually.

[Anonymous]

Nope, been there done that. I've dated girls who weren't attractive in person when I met them. Or I lowered my standards and kept seeing women I had no physical attraction to because I wasn't having luck with others and let me tell you, it's a huge waste of time.

Sure they were nice people, but I'd get no excitement when seeing them and felt guilty because what if I had to tell them I don't find them attractive and the more you see them, the more attached they get.

Even though I've never had a serious relationship, I'd rather be single than be in a relationship just for the sake of it. So looks do matter just like personality.

[Grimfangs]

Yes. I have done so. Physical attraction is only useful in causing the initial form of attraction, and it quickly fades away. In the end of the day, the only thing that lasts is attraction to personality and what's inside.
For me, it's okay if they're not physically attractive as long as they're not physically repulsive either. Such things are emotional journeys, and if you are in it only for the physical appeal, then you seriously need to consider growing up.

[adores]

Yes and no; I've fallen for my ex-lover before I was physically interested in them. After we started to get together, then I started to get interested in them physically.

Surely it would be hard to have sex with them if you weren't attracted to them physically.

[Robsinsf53]

I was put in a position to where I don't want to lie but, I'm not going to go out with this woman either. So I did stay @ work that day until midnight and do you know, that the person who arranged this without my approval actually called me at 10:00 pm & I answered the phone. Needless to say, I'm not dealing with this person anymore.

[Summer90]

Looks aren't the only reason I would date someone but of course they matter somewhat to the people involved.

People choose people for lots of reasons, there's more involvement than just the physical aspect. I've gone on a few dates where I wasn't immediately attracted to them but they grew on me because of their other qualities.

[RiYad]

You can date anyone and feel attracted to anyone if they have right personality?
Even a short ugly guy?

[Summer90]

@RiYad if I found a guy ugly I wouldn't date him. Ugly is subjective to each person. His height wouldn't matter.

[RiYad]

So u can date a guy who is shorter than you?

[Summer90]

@RiYad yes I would

[RiYad]

In your dream or in reality

[pooper89]

I've thought about it but I don't think it'd be fair to the other person, no matter how much money they made or how much of a good friend they are. If they have physical attraction for me but I don't have it for them, it's cruel to do that -both for me and for him

[RiYad]

Why?
Girls say they don't feel physical attraction before knowing the person. For women, it's a lot more typical to need a little bit more to feel physical attraction. When they see guys doesn't matter how hot they are they won't feel any attraction physically or sexually until they know him a little bit and until interaction with him.

Isn't personality is everything for women? Before knowing guys personalty girls don't experience physical attraction. ...

[Sowhoawolf]

i have dated really good looking girls
faces
body
and there personality wasn't attractive most of the time

then for a long time i couldnt get a date so i lowered my standards to a couple fat girls, when i saw them naked i was repulsed and there personality on top of that wasn't attractive either. so yea i would rather date a hot bitch then a fat none attractive nice girl.

[MysteriousDarkness]

Big women can be gorgeous and have a wonderful personality. My girlfriend is on

[MysteriousDarkness]

one not on

[Soremain]

No, but the beauty of it is that even if I don't find the girl physically attractive at first, I will find her physically attractive if I really like her. But this doesn't mean I will date a obese girl.

[Anonymous]

No, I wouldn't date someone I don't find attractive due to romantic or sexual reasons, but if I had to, I possibly will for financial/career reasons. In this case, for me it'll be less of a relationship, more of an investment/business transaction.
For instance if I had a Boss who wanted me and I knew it'll help me climb the career ladder.
Or just some lady who was bloody rich.

In conclusion, I won't "date" someone I don't find attractive, but I'd have a sugar mummy

[Anonymous]

She wouldn't have to look like a supermodel, but she would have to be at least average-looking in my eyes.

There have been times where I didn't think a girl was physically attractive at first, but as I got to know her a bit better, I developed a crush on her. This sounds weird, but the more I like a girl personality-wise, the prettier she appears to me...

[thesongwentonforever]

I'm going to be honest, the looks are what brings my attention, the personality is what makes me want to talk to them more than once/fall in love.

[RiYad]

So you can date any one if them have personality?

[Ariesealey]

No... I have to be attracted to them physically, otherwise no..: I've tried to date for personality and it doesn't work

[RiYad]

Why?
Girls say they don't feel physical attraction before knowing the person. For women, it's a lot more typical to need a little bit more to feel physical attraction. When they see guys doesn't matter how hot they are they won't feel any attraction physically or sexually until they know him a little bit and until interaction with him.

Isn't personality is everything for women? Before knowing guys personalty girls don't experience physical attraction.

[JSmith925]

Yes I would and I have. Surprising, they turned out to be far more attractive than I initially realized. You never know what someone has for you until you give them a chance. The best qualities are not always visible from the surface.
~JSmith

[TripleAce]

Looks is like everything at first. Personality only shines after

Even personality is projected through expressions and the way the person looks. Ever notice people sometimes say 'he looks so gentle and calm' as an example

[Dim1213]

My friend's wife was originally not attracted to him but over time they grew together and now she would not have any one else.

[bloodmountain1990]

Yeah one of my friends just started dating a new guy and she admits she has no physical attraction but has a great personality. I could never date a girl I have no physical attraction to but to each their own.