Why did he delete his dating profile after meeting me?

[Anonymous]

I met a guy online a little over a month ago. I know, lame. I've never had a problem with meeting guys, or dating in real life, but me and this guy just seemed to "click".

Two nights ago, he drove two hours into town to meet me (I was touched and impressed). We drank beer, split a plate of food, flirted, and he asked where I would take him for our second date. "Great!", I thought. The date was going well. So well, that when we took a nice romantic stroll in the park, things got a little heavy.

We found a secluded bench and sat and talked for a little while, and found ourselves making out. I told him that I didn't usually do that kinda thing (I know every skank girl says that, but it's very true in my case), but I was obviously very attracted to him, and it seemed by the state of his pants that he wanted me, too. I stopped mid-kiss and told him that I couldn't keep fooling around with him until I at least knew his last name (so at least I wouldn't be fooling around with a COMPLETE stranger) He hesitantly told me. I don't know why he was so hesitant, but he did.

I told him my name and that I wouldn't be having sex with him on that date, or the second, or the third if he didn't already find me too easy to come back and date again. He said that I was definitely worth coming back for more, and that he expected nothing and thought nothing less of me.

Today I went to send him a thank you e-mail for the date (just the polite thing to do). First, I went to see his online profile, though (just curious!) and it was freakin' gone!

Why did he delete his online profile after meeting me? Does making out on the first date constitute as "easy"? Did I turn him off?

I really liked this guy, so it really upsets me that he no longer likes me because just because I didn't tell him "no".

Help!

[princess]

Why did he delete his dating profile after meeting me?

It's a common question that women ask themselves when they meet a guy and things seem to be going well. You might be wondering what his reasoning is for deleting his profile. Here are a few possible explanations:

1. He's no longer interested in online dating.

2. He's found someone he wants to pursue a relationship with and he's no longer interested in dating other people.

3. He's met someone he likes and wants to get to know her better.

4. He's no longer interested in dating in general.

5. He's been dating multiple people and he's narrowed it down to you.

6. He's not ready for a serious relationship.

7. He's been hurt in the past and he's not ready to open himself up to someone new just yet.

8. He's not ready to commit to one person.

9. He's afraid of getting hurt again.

10. He's not ready for a relationship right now.

These are just a few possible explanations for why he might have deleted his dating profile after meeting you. It's important to remember that everyone is different and his reason could be something totally different than what's listed here. The best way to find out is to ask him directly.

[vmw2008]

I think it could be two reasons.

1) He was just after sex. Some guys will say and do anything to get sex (including driving 2 hours). I once had a guy offer to fly cross country to sleep with me and he meant it. So there was nothing you could've done or said to keep this guy around for more than sex.

-OR-

2) It wasn't you making out with him that did it, it was your explanation. I believe that you don't do that sort of thing often, but when you go into overtime to convince him of that then it seems fake. He's wondering why you're trying so hard to prove you're not easy, and it came across as fishy. He saw a little bit of your weaknesses when you told him you wouldn't be having sex on any of the other dates. It seemed like you were setting all these harsh rules because you felt vulnerable when he's just trying to enjoy a first date with a girl he barely knows.

I couldn't really tell you which one of the reasons it was. My instincts say the first one, as a guy who is interested in getting to know you would at least give you a chance to redeem yourself. I think he was just after the sex and when you told him there wouldn't be any for a while, he was on to the next.

[Asker]

That's what I'm kind of afraid of.

Guess I need to work on my restraint and willpower.

Thanks for your honesty.

[Rissa95]

Wow I've also met a guy this summer who drove two hours and we clicked perfectly yet he never made a move to make out. After the date he never texts first and I had a hard time getting over him. He was probably after all just looking to hook up... Fast forward to three months later, I check the dating app and his profile is gone. He also sends me his first ever text after I posted a sexy profile pic asking if I want to stay in touch yet only makes small talk and doesn't invite me over to his town... Go figure. He's probably found a girl and is still benching me lmao.

[star709]

I agree, it seems to me like he might have deleted the profile because he found something in you.from what I was reading, he might be on that business trip and cannot contact you.

He told you where he was going and the time he would be gone. I don't think he would have said I would be back for more and not meant it.

[sinful1620]

It's not that you told him "no". You and this guy were having a great time, and when things got excited you stopped it and told him he wouldn't be getting any for several dates. That establishes you as being controlling, and makes you seem like the kind of girl who would regularly withhold sex because your boyfriend wasn't perfect. Guys avoid those types of girls like the plague.

[Asker]

But that's just the thing...

It was the FIRST date, and he isn't my boyfriend.

Wouldn't it be worse if I had let him continue thinking I would do anything with anyone upon first meeting?

[sinful1620]

If you'd said "we just met, I don't think this is a good idea yet" then yes you're completely right. However, that's not what you said. You specifically started telling him when he would and wouldn't be getting sex, citing specifically how many dates he had to go through before you'd let him have sex.

In a relationship, that's the number one biggest thing guys hate: a woman treating sex like a weapon - something that she's giving him-, not something that's a shared experience.

[Britneybunny2428]

What? A girl who has self respect? So your saying that a guy will only date you if you put out. Such bull!

[Britneybunny2428]

It would yes. As long as you set the boundaries first then its no problem and if he's decent he will understand this and be a grown up.

[Britneybunny2428]

Sex is more intimate for a woman than a man and it is something she is giving him. When a guy has sex they are less likely ti get attached whereas a woman is more inclined to. Its biology. If she's not ready, she's not ready. If it were different then I would agree with you, unfortunately thats not the case.

[uncutguy1980]

Well was the dating profile the only way you had to contact him? If not then he may have liked you so much he didn't want to persue anyone else.

[JamesDiaz11]

As someone who has traveled a couple hours to a nearby big city, to date a few girls I matched with on a dating app, I think I can speak some clarity as to what happened:

You weren't worth the drive/ expense.

To your credit, even if you did have sex you probably wouldn't have changed the calculation. First, he barely knows you, and thereby doesn't love you. He drove a long way- probably didn't have similar opportunities nearby- and struck out (getting blue balls in a park IS striking out). Plus, you told him (I don't know what a woman over 30 is saying this for, but I digress) you wouldn't be having sex with him for at least 2-3 more dates...

So, this is the deal presented to him: 3-5 more 4-hour car trips (est. 16 hours, 5 tanks of gas, $300, plus $100-200/ date, that's another $600-$1000), for the CHANCE at some mid, over-30's pussy... Now, with gas prices the way they are, why would a guy deem that something to pursue?

[Britneybunny2428]

While I agree with you…. What are you meaning by over 30’s pussy? Lol. Doesn't mean she's less or degraded down there. Some women this age have better bodies than younger women. Big rude bringing her age into it.

[Blueeyes81]

I never subscribed to this easy bullshit. People vibe or they don't. Cutting off that vibe when things start to get heavy then laying down the law of when things will happen is a major turn off. Guys hate games and they hate blue balls. Give a guy both, well don't be shocked to not hear back.

[Skylark23]

Have you thought maybe he really actually likes you and feels he has no more need for the profile?

Do you have any other way of contacting him apart from the website?

[Asker]

His e-mail.

He's constantly telling me to get a phone, but I just moved to a new city, and that's why I don't have one yet.

He told me before our date that he has a business trip, and won't be back until the second or third of august. So I won't be able to talk to him until then. Waiting is hard, but I don't want to speak to him first if he doesn't want me anymore.

[Skylark23]

Yeah waiting is hard but really its only a few more days. Just send him and email just to say a quick hello and then see if he replies. If he does not then treat it as a bad experience, at least you know if there is a next time. Good luck :)

[Britneybunny2428]

Get a cheap mobile lovely

[bBop345]

He probably deleted his profile because he thinks he found the girl he was looking for.

[rallz93]

Maybe he just doesn't need his online profile if he wants you ...wait a little to see if he contacts you then you can know for sure if he's a pig .

[EssenceOfLight]

Possible two options.
- He isn't honest (married... etc.) and just wanted a date with sex.
- He is very emotional and pressure of dating you was too much for him, he overreacted and deleted his account

[Anonymous]

Is that the only way you have to get a hold of him? If not, that's a GOOD sign. Means he's not interested in dating or looking further at this point. Don't over think it and let your mind run away with you.

[UpdateGloomyNights_]

Girls who have sex on the first date are simple girls for guys. There is a word in Kurdish. stone is heavy in place. no matter how much you like it, never hold hands, kiss or make love. sleeping without married

[Britneybunny2428]

You can do these things without being married. Your talking about religion but yes she should wait first and see how things go with him.

[Anonymous]

He was probably married and going being his wife's back.