What's up with coffee dates? Why are they the go-to first date?

I don't even think going out for coffee counts as a date. It's lame. It's not romantic. And it's cheap. I hate when guys ask me out for coffee. If you're going to ask someone out, at least plan an actual date like dinner.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1) Don't expect men to buy you stuff in order to hang out with you. It'll push the good guys away.

    2) We like coffee dates in case you turn out crazy and we want to escape your company.

    3) Often "coffee" just mean's "let's drink or eat something quickly... something that only takes 20 minutes." I like dessert places because I can drink tea and eat cake while on a date.

    Don't take it personally, we're just saving ourselves time and money, while trying to find out if you're as awesome as you look.

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )

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    • I agree with you here. There are a lot of guys who just seriously spend money on women who they care for or love. Some of these guys are actually good guys and not always just cheap.

What Guys Said 4

  • I actually asked this same question a while back, and well pretty much got the same answers, but I know what you mean, if I want to go on a date with a girl, I am not going to ask her to coffee, to me that makes you look cheap, and boring, hmm wonder why so many coffee dates don't work out.

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  • I have this "belief" if that's what I can call it, that there are two main types of people in society. There are the "mainstreamers", those who follow and play by the rules, move along in their daily lives in a way that they think they should be doing, and are generally predictable people. These are the kinds that seem to lack any kind of creativity in choosing their dates (accepting them), and opt for the method they think is the norm.

    I don't know, it's not scientific but it's a way I describe the world so that it makes sense to me.

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  • *cough* high maintenance *clears throat*

    *hides*

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  • why would we want to spend big bucks on a girl we don't even know yet ?

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What Girls Said 5

  • I like coffee, it gives both of us time to figure out if we mesh. If they turn out to be a great companion with no sparks coffee dates can also be a great foundation for a friendship.

    Personally, I think the ticket is going out for a weekend brunch. It's unique, there's no rush and muffins or pastries are delicious and easy to nibble on throughout a conversation as you sip upon your beverage of choice. If there's chemistry it's early enough to transition to a walk or another lighthearted plan. Plus, I like picking up my own tab, so I'm not indebted to my date, which is easy to do in a cafe or coffee shop.

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  • I don't see anything wrong with a coffee date as 1st date. It can go further than coffee if you connect anyway! Who's to say you can't catch a movie or whatever after that? Also, sometimes I don't want to do a full meal with some guy if I'm not connecting with him either! I can bolt! lol.

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  • From what my guy friends have told, it's cheaper lol. Basically they don't want to waste their money on someone they might not have a connection with.

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    • I agree with that. I've been told the same! :)

    • One of my friends also calls it the gold digger test, if they can take you out for coffee and you want to go on a second that that's a good sign you're not one.

    • I agree with Patti Stanger, the love guru, that dinner spells romance. Coffee is cheap and lunch is an interview. But thanks for your opinion, and Sally too. :)

  • I suggest a FREE gym date to guys, since they claim to love the gym. I say we can even meet at a gym they don't go to. I refuse to bother getting ready for a lame date, in order to "judge" me, to see if I'm good enough. It's so funny because they bitch about that, saying they don't talk when they train. I say, let's be real you just want to make sure I'm not a whale. Guys don't want to talk!! Guys don't want to spend money in case we are crazy, but also can't do a gym date? The best thing about a gym date, is even it you don't hit it off, at least you can hit the weights, and it wasn't a total waste. Guys don't know what they want, so there's no winning here unless we schedule a BJ date lol

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  • they're quick and easy. you can get to know someone and if you don't like them, you can make a quick getaway without being too rude

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