I hate talking on the phone, always have. I prefer to text. Even with texting, I dislike having long drawn out conversations if the topic isn't really important. I'm dating really cool woman now, I definitely like her but I'll still only text maybe twice aweek, usually go out and do something once a week. I think that's fine, but in the past girls have sometimes said that they would have liked to talk more . They said I seemed a little distant, and were even uneasy about where they stood with me (not in relationship status) but how much I was into them. So my questio to the ladies is: what's the minimum contact you would desire to have with a guy you are dating but isn't your boyfriend?
Most Helpful Guy
Basically your a typical guy man. I'm the same way. Hate talking on the phone, Hate texting. Completely impersonal, and it just takes away from time I should be using to do something productive. I don't feel the need to give a girl a play by play of my life via text, just so she feels like I'm involved. When we get together in person, I'm more than happy to tell you what my day was like, but not over text.
Girls just don't get this because women bond through communication. There are literally chemicals released in the brain of a women when she has deep communication with someone, which causes her to feel a sense of attachment. The male equivalent is close physical proximity or touch.
This is one of those areas where both genders need to realize that they are born different, and as a result need to compromise. Instead, as typically the case, the women wins the game of chicken and guilts you into doing things her way. In this case, making you text/call her often enough, even if your rather not to.
I actually broke up with a girl for this very reason. She wanted constant contact, but I just didn't have anything important to say. It also doesn't help I have an intellectual like personality so I prefer intellectual conversations or small talk. All the more reason I don't like texting. This girl would complain every other day that I didn't care about her because I wasn't texting her enough. "ARE YOU SERIOUS!".
Girls do us all a favor and stop gauging your relationships health by using your phone. I hate to break it to you but that fancy smart phone does not have app for that. The real indicator should be how much time he wants to spend with you.
It depends on the people and their schedules but I would say most women require you to contact them at least once a day, which in my opinion is a bit much. If we're both busy and not going to see each other, and we also don't have anything important that needs discussion. Then I don't see the need to check in with each other. We'll just talk the next time we see each other, which will likely be in a day or two. So average once a day, but you could probably get away with 4-5x a week if she's a bit more understand and she's a busy person.1
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