Is a red flag if you are in a committed relationship and your boyfriend actively chats online with strange girls?

[Lindardz670]

I’m in a 3 years committed relationship. De facto since 2 years ago. I met my boyfriend online through Hello Talk. I speak Spanish and English and he speaks English but trying to learn Spanish since years ago. A few months ago I found out that he was in contact with a girl through WhatsApp. We were together when he received the message and I asked him who was that girl. He said someone that he met in Hello talk. Since then, I have seen messages from girls from Hello talk. He is not hiding any messages. He says I’m welcome to check his phone at any time (which I don’t do it because I respect his privacy), but it concerns me that he is constantly talking with strange girls with the excuse he wants to Learn Spanish. He has me so we can practice Spanish together but he say I make it hard for him because I speak fast or I sound like a teacher giving a boring class (for me, it sounds like excuses). I have told him that he needs to be careful as it could be easy to fall in love with people you talk that much, but he keeps saying is not his case, he loves me very much and he is only practicing Spanish with them. Not flirting. He has showed me the messages and they seem very innocent. However, he make calls with them (and I’m not there to hear what they talk about) and chat with several different girls very often (daily). Also, I can feel he is boring in our relationship. He doesn’t say that, but I can tell. My current reaction is to be relax and no make any dramas but it does mean I’m not internally worried. I really would like to know what guy thinks, but anyone is welcome to give me your advice. Being worried is overreacting? Should I just forget it about it and relax?

[SueShe]

It is indeed a red flag and he is using this application, not to learn a foreign language, but rather to flirt around with other girls.

The excuse he gives you are childish and if his interest were really just to learn a language, there are plenty of other options to do it, be it with a language application where you study grammar and sentence structure or with online courses.

How did you initially communicate with this application? Did he start flirting with you after a while? If he did it with you, there is no reason why he would not do it with someone else.

The fact that he does not hide his conversations from you is because he knows you respect his privacy but also, it is a psychological trick. Talking openly about something suspicious to create confidence is one of the best ways to hide something.

[sheikalana]

This would bother me and I would want to know the context of the conversations.

[Finchie40]

It’s a red flag for sure and gives you the right to dump his ass

[Guy13]

Yes, it probably is.

[Guy13]

When a spouse, so, girl/boyfriend spend excessive time chatting with other females then something is wrong. This is time that should be spent with the spouse. The priorities, at the very least, are wrong…. Eventually, something bad will happen from poor judgment

[Chrysantenum95]

I would be worried also.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would be worried.

[Crankor]

That is a red flag yes

[Iron_Man]

No that’s not good at all

[LostGirl9]

It is a red flag