My brother is way too over protective. How can I handle this?

[Phoebexoxo]

Ok so my brother is way too over protective
I mean I get it coz my mom and dad died in a car crash when I was 3 and he was 10
even if I am just going to a friends he has to come too
and he walks me to school EVERY day
it's really embarrassing
like my friends make fun of me and it's not fair
he won't let me do anything now
nothing at all
any advice?

Updates

+1 y

He even quit his job to look after me too

[Oram52]

Understand from his view point, you're all he has now. You're his baby sister and he must protect you at all costs. He does it because he loves you and doesn't want any harm coming to you. So yes he is too over protective.

You need to show him that you also love him, and he will never lose you. Try hang out with him maybe, do things. You need to tell him you're growing up and no longer his baby sister. If he really wants to protect you, then you need to learn to be independent. Remind him how school was for him, and how kids make fun.

Start slow for example he can drop you off to school but like further away, and you walk on your own. Bring your friends at home play with them. He gets to know them, slowly start doing things with them for short intervals.

Don't do anything to betray his trust if you want to be independent and remain close to your brother. Drugs, smoking, drinking, breaking laws nothing. Study, make sure do good in school. He's pretty much taken your fathers role. He feels he is responsible for you. Of course he sounds over bearing and annoying, too protective. But he is doing out of love.

[slimstiffy]

I hope you understand that he feels like he has to watch over you as there are no others around. Not close family anyway.
One day you will both grow up and when you start working you won't see as much of each other. Enjoy your time.. Im sure its not the answer you are looking for, but as an older brother i want you yo know we will always watch over our little sisters even if its only from our hearts.

[AuNaturellie]

hun you're still quite young so you're gonna have to find a way to get over it. he clearly feels like you're his responsibility now that both your parents are gone (sorry for your loss by the way, I know what it's like to live without a mum). It may seem like he's being too tough on you but try to look at things from his POV. Quite honestly, I would've loved to know I've got an older brother who I know I can count on to be there for me or be protective.

However if it's really bothering you this much, try talking to him about how you feel without getting angry. Try to have a mature response to the situation, if he starts getting aggravated and maybe starts yelling don't fall into the trap of raising your voice back at him, you'll only make things worse. The trick is to remain calm and if he starts to lose his temper, try to calm him down by pointing out that you're not angry about it and that you just want to let him know how this issue is affecting you.

These are all just my suggestions so idrk if they'll work 100% but I'm pretty confident. hope this all helps :)

[EllieLexis513]

If he's your legal guardian, there's nothing you can do except talk to him about it. At 13, I can see why he walks you to school. However, you should be able to go out with your friends a couple of a times without him babysitting you. It's more about him than you, though. He's struggling with his own insecurities. You were 3 and he was 10 when you lost your parents, so I promise he remembers more and felt more than you did at the age. It's pretty traumatic for someone in that age group. At 3, a lot of your memories and feelings are suppressed, just like it is for most people, even in difficult and traumatic events. 10 is a bit different. The brain is more developed and retains and interprets information more than a 3 year old's. He may actually need therapy.

[MikkyLachae]

Get new friends. Seriously, they're teasing you because your only close relative doesn't want to lose you? Don't they understand? Anyway I know you probably don't want me to bring your age into this but I will. You're 13 and he's 20. He'll have to let you go once you're 18 but for now he's holding on to the only normal family life he has left. To you, that's a whole 5 years. But to him, that's only 5 years. If you can, talk to him more to make him feel safe. I know it seems like he's the one trying hard to keep you safe but he's doing this for himself too. He doesn't want to lose you to something he can't control. He doesn't want to feel helpless again.

[maurkay]

I think it's nice that your brother cares about you, that's what older brothers should do, especially considering both your parents have passed. If you feel he's a bit too much in your space I think you should go talk to him about him. Kindly tell him that you appreciate that he cares, but you need a little space, that you don't need to be followed around everywhere.

[luvstoned4him]

Aww thats cute

Am not sure that would ever change until maybe you get your own home, a job and move out and show that you have independent.

But its nice to have someone who can care like that. Sorry about your parents , it must hurt a lot.

[Phoebexoxo]

No it's ok
I can't even remember my parents

[Phoebexoxo]

And it's not cute

[luvstoned4him]

@Asker, lol ok. Just appreciate him while u can, he won't be around forever, u two might go separate ways etc

[datgirl]

You're only 13. I have a sister your age and a brother that's 12 and I'm hella protective over them even though our parents are both alive and well. Your situation is different so trust in him and respect him he obviously won't be like this forever but 13 is a vulnerable age. Let him take care of you until you're able to be on your own.

[shadowlegend]

You're 13, my advice, appreciate that you have someone who cares so much about you.

[Phoebexoxo]

He cares too much
It's getting old
It's like I am a baby

[shadowlegend]

You're only 13, you are a baby compared to adults. He wants to make sure you don't get hurt i any way and you're too young to realize how grateful you should actually be for that.

[skaikrasha]

You need to have a serious talk with him, explain how you feel and tell him you'd really appreciate it if he could tone it down a little.

[Phoebexoxo]

I an often scared of him but I'll try

[Mesmaeker]

If he was ten at the time he may very well have suffered some sort of trauma. Adres this problem with your family doctor cause i don't think you can outvoice him on this subject since he quit his job.

[Phoebexoxo]

Never thought of that
Yeah I will do that

[MakeShiftThug]

Well he obviously doesn't want to loes you. Imagine losing both your parents at 10. You were just three.

You're still quite young so you'll have to endure it for at least another 5 years.

[Phoebexoxo]

But it's so annoying
He even quit his job so he could ' look after me '

[MakeShiftThug]

Well you can talk to him about it, ask him to give you some space but having your parents die at such an age scars you for life. It's his way of coping and ensuring he won't lose anyone else again.

[Becky01]

you are all he has left in the world he is going to be protective. you need to sit down with him and talk things over and compromise on how to do things from here on out

[Sasha_Kotelenets]

You should talk to him about it. Ask him if you can have more freedom because you're not a baby anymore.

[nog6422]

You could try asking him to let you do stuff by yourself. Might not do anything though.

[Phoebexoxo]

Yeah I guess

[apple24]

Tell him to bug off! or else slam him on the wall! And tell him to leave you alone! Thats what I do!

[Anonymous]

Just deal with it. Once you're a bit older it'll probably lessen.

[Anonymous]

He's over protective of you because both of your parents died. You may not of been old enough to remember that far but he was 10 so the experience tramatized him. Your his little sister. He needs you.

[iFarted]

Sounds like a really caring bro to me

[Phoebexoxo]

That's the problem he is is too caring though
He is assertive and he even quit his job to look after me

[Anonymous]

this sounds like a troll:

next

[Phoebexoxo]

It's not a troll
If you don't believe me then move on ok?

[Mia101smirh294]

Yeah leave her alone
What's the point of trolling?

[Loveherbut]

Tell him to back off

[Phoebexoxo]

Tried that many times
He just gets aggressive