Why are guys so intimidated by beautiful girls?

ive noticed that guys seem to be intimidated by beautiful girls. is it a fear of rejection? do you think they already have a boyfriend? what is it? and as a result of this I notice a lot of attractive guys are with really average looking girls. it seems that average/unattractive girls have a lot of success with dating/romance is it because they're not threatening? I wish more guys would talk to beautiful girls.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • These men who do not approach beautiful women tend to have insecurity issues. If they can't get up enough nerve to go after what they want then their predetermined idea that they aren't good enough for you is true. No woman wants a man who can't take initiative, let alone be some insecure p*ssy who doesn't have confidence in himself. So they're actually doing you a favor by not approaching you.

    Don't feel bad because you're beautiful some wonderful guy who has confidence and a well rounded head on his shoulders (who actually knows what he wants) will steal your heart some day. Until then just keep being...beautiful! :)

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    • i agree

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    • If you can't get over that fact then you shouldn't even bother trying to date or pursue a relationship for that matter.

    • i also get rejected a lot and the only guys who have the gumption to talk to me are usually creeps

What Guys Said 21

  • There are two possibilities here and which one it is depends on the guy

    1. Many guys would rather settle for a sure thing than take a risk to get something that may or may not pan out. A girl who has more options available to her (like an extremely attractive woman would) would be less likely to give you a chance just based on how much options she has than a girl who has fewer options. So, even if they're not getting what they REALLY want, they'd rather go for the girl who has an 80% chance of saying yes over the girl who only has a 20%. Lots of guys are uncomfortable with communicating with women on a person to person basis due to either insecurity or just people issues, so on the chance they do, they will only do it for the "sure thing."

    2. They make assumptions about her personality based on her looks and assume negative things about her. If she is well dressed and obviously put a lot of effort into her hair and makeup, there can be some truth to this as the high maintenance label can come into play and while most guys appreciate the LOOK, they also don't like the idea of dating a woman who invests over an hour into getting ready to leave the house each day and spends as much money on grooming products as he probably does on electronics or tools. The possibility of dating a high maintenance woman is scary because they can be very demanding. What is high maintenance? Well, in my opinion, there are many different expressons of love. There's gift giving, there's affection, and there are others as well. But one of them is sacrifice. A woman who I would label as high maintenance only understands one expression of love: sacrifice. She has to keep her man jumping through hoops and making unnecessary sacrifices in other aspects of his life because it is the only way she feels loved or appreciated. And these women are not quality women.

    So, in short (and sorry for my wall of text rant) they're scary because the chance for rejection is extremely high (and to a guy who is uncomfortable dealing with not just girls, but people in general, this is a BIG DEAL), and bcause it's VERY easy for her to come off as being high maintenance.

    On a scale of 1-10 in looks, with 10 being perfect, you would assume the ideal number is 10. Wrong. The ideal number is 8, because it is the highest a woman can be without seeming unapproachable. And when a girl who is naturally an 8 makes effort to style herself to become a 9 or a 10, she achieves the high maintenance look.

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    • i see your logic

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    • To be perfectly honest neither of these apply to me. I'm a unique case so I have my own reasons.

    • I R Speshal =) lol

  • Well try talking to a guy whose ripped with a nice smile and all he's wearing is jeans, yeah kinda hard to talk a bit right? Well most people might be tongue tied/nervous, only a handful people can talk normally in a situation like that.

    Regarding to men, Well not all guys are intimidated by a beautiful woman, actually she would get my interested quicker hen a dog noticing the mail man. I don't attack but my eyes are on the target non stop, like most men. They are like hunters, we wait for a second when the target drops its guard then move in for the kill or in this case just move in period.

    Then again, each person has a different perspective on what's beautiful / attractive. We all fear rejection, men and women, but tradition is that men are the ones who are supposed to make that first move and all women have to do is either say yes or No, so of course we would have to swallow the pride of taking a chance with our pride to say hey or even ask for a number.

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    • but I find more and more girls have to take the initiative to talk to guys. I admit girls must give guys a sign that they are interested but guys should make the first move and I feel like their doing that less and less

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    • ya I agree women should do that but in my experience guys don't make an effort to talk to girls, the girls have to do the talking

    • maybe from your experience, but not from mine or some other people, its different.

  • Hades you're not alone. Beautiful women intimidate most guys. In fact, plenty of guys get intimidated by average-looking women. But when you find yourself in the presence of a genetic celebrity of the female gender, the sense of longing and confusion can be overwhelming.

    If you come across a girl, I mean The perfect 10. The A plus. The woman you'd sell your soul for, no questions asked. Her natural habitat: urban centers of high finance, fashion, politics, and the entertainment industry. A HEAVY PRICE TO PAY don't you think ?

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    • but don't you feel like if you see a beautiful girl and you don't smile/look/talk to her then youve missed an opportunity?

    • You're right my good man! It is a price TOO heavy to pay IMO.

    • good lady

  • Well, for me, it's not strictly beautiful girls. It's any girl. I just don't know what to say (initially at least). One time I couldn't think of anything and I ended up telling a girl that she was shiny.

    The the strategy I used on my current girlfriend was to basically wait it out. Build up rapport, figure out the right things to talk about, etc. This only works when I see a girl on a consistent regular basis though (like waiting for a class to start).

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  • Im not.

    You can change your body language/persona to attract more males. Your probably right about the fact that a lot of guys are afraid to approach you, so try reaching out just a bit. Smile or start a little convo with them about anything.

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    • i admit I don't smile and I don't look friendly that's my own fault

    • Then I wouldn't talk to you.

      I think that honestly I'm a good looking guy, but I am always friendly toward people.

  • be more approachable. sory for speaking about girls with ratings out of ten but a guy is far more likely to approach a 7/10 who isn't going to bite his head off than a 9/10 who is going to bite his head off. it's tough to approach girls generally so a good looking girl appears to have more guys approaching her and is therefore more likely to reject the guy. therefore it's about cutting their losses. be more approachable and you will have less guys seeing you as a python

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  • they probably

    -are high maintenance

    -demanding (of things the guy 'should' have)

    -have a bf

    -are married

    -are out of our league

    etc...

    guys can come up with an endless amount of reason not to approach, really...

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  • They have a fear of rejection I guess. Some guys need to man up. Better to fail than to have never tried at all.

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    • yes exactly you have to try!

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    • MOZZY10 is correct again, he's on a roll!

    • Call him butter ;)

  • pretty much the fear of rejection, before you even get rejected. Because she has a hot bod like every other college girl, we assume she's a goddess or put her up on the un-reachable "pedestal".

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  • Its easy for a beautiful girl to become a little bit ugglier so she gets more approached and dated by not wearing sexy clothes, not putting make up, not spending much money on hair and nails, gaining some fat and behaving more like an ugly girl.

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    • well you don't have to have your nails and hair done, weary revealing clothes or put on lots of makeup to be beautiful...

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    • Holy sh*t, you have no clue how flirting works do you? This is how girls flirt in the club. OK maybe this is too advanced for you, maybe you could start by holding eye contact with guys to show them that you are more approachable, not 0.1 second eye contacts but big 5 second eye contacts. And for more flirting techniques that are not wild like the ones I "teached" you here my sweet innocent little girl, check out these links:

    • well I do know how to flirt, but that's just not how I do it.

  • These are some of me and my friends beliefs why

    a) they have a fear of rejection

    b) they figure she has a boyfriend already, as she can probably have whoever she wants

    c) many guys are message and are trying to get at her so she has a large variety ( like the pretty girl who has her wall filled with guys messaging her, or her phone is constantly going off)

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  • U are right about one thing is fear of rejection. I'm not scared talk to any beautiful girls but I'm scared to ask them because sometime they are out of my league.

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  • I think its a fear of rejection especially if the guy likes her and wants to date her. But, feels that she is out of his league.

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  • They have worse personalities

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    • um...so all average looking girls have good personalities and all beautiful girls have bad personalities?

    • On average, in general, overall. Obviously you can't say any group of people are all the same.

  • - Out of our league

    - Probably has a boyfriend

    - High maintenance

    those are some points

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    • what do you mean by high maintenance?

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    • no your wrong, have you not seen the boyfriends of most beautiful girls, well they either don't have them or have average bfs who are douchy. there aren't a lot of good looking guys out there for them. theyre taken by average looking girls

    • nah they wouldn't want me lol I know, if they did they would show some interest

  • they're out of my league + I don't wanna ruin that beauty ;P

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  • Because they will cheat on you.

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    • i think cheating is about the kind of person you are, not what you look like

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    • What is? I'm sorry but I am thoroughly confused.

    • lol sry QA - blame society for this. But honestly you have nothing to worry about - if your attractive and an overall good person - fate will be on your side surely. It's just like when I was growing up surrounded by so many negative stereotypes. I didn't moan about them really. Just proved they didn't apply. That's pretty much all you have to do here. Your a nice girl ( when you not pissed lol) so just let that show. You'll have no issues.

  • Here are some things the average/plain Jane girls have going for them.
    They are more agreeable. They treat men better and listen to them way better. They don't unnecessarily test men, which most good looking women are most guilty of. They fall in love with an above average and cherish him and his company. They usually have a low partner count which helps them bond with a man. They don't have a history of broken relationships which makes them less jaded with men. They value traditional family life and takes care of their husbands even though they have a career. They don't need continuous excitement since most are not party girls. The most important quality they make their men feel WANTED in their lives.
    Basically good looking women abuse their god given powers which average women dont.
    I know this is not 100% true with every women. But this is mostly true.

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  • "I wish more guys would talk to beautiful girls."

    And we wish that beautiful girls would talk to us.

    And basically you've answered your own question - we think she very probably has a boyfriend and it's also fear of rejection

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  • ive been trying to ask out a girl who is a 9-10 and every time I see her in class I get too nervous and end up saying some pretty stupid things and I know she is turned off by me because I am just another guy who is trying to get in her pants even tho I would love a relationship.. I've I've been trying to ask out a girl who is a 9-10 and every time I see her in class I get to nervous and end up saying some pretty stupid things and I know she is turned off by me because I am just another guy who is trying to get in her pants even tho I would love a relationship. I have seen her hit on by many other guys and know it is a daily thing for her so it is hard for me to stand out from the crowd.. I've been told I'm good looking and have been cat called by random girls on occassion and hear it a lot from friends/family so who knows I could be hideous to others. It doesn't help that I sit next to a friend in class who is loud and immature at times and definitely not helping my situation because he has no idea how to be a proper wingman an and doesn't make an effort to meet new girls but complains about having no girlfriend. Salty.. I have high standards and need a beautiful girl to date but they all act disinterested.. Sigh :(

    Message me I would love to talk more and get some advice!

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  • It works both ways, guys will get uglier girls so they won't leave them as easily for another guy

    Girls get uglier boyfriend (well because men are just ugly compared to girls) and because when they want to settle down they want a guy who won't cheat on them.

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    • im discouraged :(

    • don't be, just be happy that you're sexy, later on you'll get old and no one will pay attention to you, not even your children, but hey, that's life...

    • my children will be my slaves I'm gonna make them do everything for me

What Girls Said 6

  • Fear of rejection, thinking she's taken, feeling they're not up to her standards, prejudgements on her personality, interests, etc.

    However, if you're talking about yourself, you do realize that you'll probably have a lot more success (probably more than average girls), if you go after guys yourself, right? There are going to be a lot fewer guys ready to turn you down, and once they get to know you (assuming you're a nice, down-to-earth sort of person), some of their doubts about your character, if they have any, will be dispelled. A lot of guys will be attracted to you, so that's one requirement fulfilled in most cases. Why wait for someone to come up to you when you can choose guys *you* personally want to get to know better? If you think he's a good guy and what you're looking for, go over and talk to him. Since you're pretty attractive, it's a lot more likely that you'll recieve a positive response.

    I'm not saying let all of this go to your head (don't haha), but just be aware that you have a lot less reason to be afraid of asking people out than others do. You're looking at this whole situation the wrong way, take some initiative. It's worth it.

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    • ya but I kinda feel like a guy should approach be first, ill give him encouragement but I feel like the initiative is ultimately up to him, I guess that's not how people act anymore tho

    • All I'm saying is you'll have more success if you put in some effort. You can change your situation, but it's up to you if you take the steps to do that or not. Good luck though.

    • Great answer. Very true you probably won't be rejected AND you can just choose any guy that piques your interest. Jealous!

  • Probably because you already assume you don't have a chance. Really good looking people are typically for fantasizing over - because realisticly we doubt our ability to nab someone we feel is " out of our league."

    There's this really gorgeous guy in my biology class - dark hair, icy blue eyes, atletic - just unbelievably good looking. However, I would never approach him in respects to dating him. Just because he's on a whole nother level of hotness than me.

    The first thing I think is, well I'm okay looking - but the girls he probably has to choose from are probably like 9's and 10's like himself.

    How the hell am I as like a 6, suppose to compete with a 9 or a 10?

    So realistically, I have to back off.

    I'm sure it works very much the same for guys - guys are really more in - tune with this sub concious competiton between dudes, so I'm sure the process is just the same. Plus they have to approach the girl, and impress her somehow - ay ay ay that must be really stressful for dudes faced with a really stunning girl. Unless he feels he's just as stunning himself.

    There was a test done to experiment with this whole " in your league thing." Random group of chicks and dudew were asked to pick a partner they found most attractive out the bunch.

    Every single person paired up with someone within their calculated attractiveness scale - like 7's with 6.5's or 3's with 4's etc - completely on their own.

    I think the majority of us are aware about how attractive we are, and choose to compete against those at our level, because our chances of success are much higher, then hoping some amazingly good looking person will randomely come along.

    I mean, it happens - but not very often.

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    • u should talk to him or smile at him :) because if you don't itll be a missed opportunity. don't be so hard on yourself

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    • and ya when I ask a guy something I count it as talking to them

    • Hmm - because I just do. I know I'm attractive - but I also know there are girls who are more attractive to me. I also know I have a good personality, but I also know there are girls with one's he desires more. Could work the opposite way - but realistically thinking it's about a 45% chance. We're not all made to click on a romantic level - some people you just get a feeling. My heart has never lied to me before - so. But, your right. You neva know. Maybe I will talk with him more...

  • preconceived notions of her personality leading to a fear of rejection, figures she is taken etc. Everyone said it pretty much

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  • That is a load of bull.

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  • I'm glad they are. More for the rest of us, you know? =P

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  • a lot of time it's presence and the way the girl comes across as 'approachable' or not.

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