So I have had this friend for 10 years... and after some turbulence the last year...and a change in circumstance we both decided to pursue something non-platonic. We both admitted having feelings for one another... and we went out on our first date last week.
It was amazing! He and I had a really great time reconnecting and bonding. We went out for the day and later he cooked me dinner. It was really sweet and special. Thereafter, I spent the night. We had really passionate sex. He held my hand the entire time. We would fall asleep in each other's arms... wake up and have sex again. Truly great.
In the morning I kinda freaked out being overwhelmed emotion and I tried to leave. He begged me to join him back in bed so he could hold me. And he did for two hours... just laying there rubbing my back and holding my hand. Finally, I looked up at him and he made love to me. Which was very emotional for both of us. After we climaxed he just held me. It truly was the greatest time I have spent with someone.
That being said... afterwards he cooked me breakfast... and drove me to the train station (I live 3 hours away). That evening we texted each other - saying we had a great time and that yes we shall catch up again soon. So I was optomistic!
We have emailed a few times since (3 times I think this week)... and I offered to stop by to see him next week or the week after as I consistently go to his city for work. Both times he said keep me posted on your plans... but I may not be in town. I will let you know. WTF!?!
He has been a close friend for a decade... and I guess I am kinda destroyed by his lack of enthusiasm about us seeing each other again. He made love to me, he held me... and he assured me we would see each other again. Is he avoiding me? Should I just assume that he doesn't want this now? Was I used?
Most Helpful Girl
I believe he likes you very much. It may not seem that way but I think he does. You are a girl he has known for 10 years, AND you had amazing passionate sex. I am sure he has now gone into a panic mode because he is feeling what you are feeling, and he is scared. The only way to repress what he is feeling is by acting normal, and communicating like you always have. He can't see you right away because its too much to handle for him. He's use to this relationship that you have had over 10 years, and if you see each other and continue to sleep with each other it could ruin things. He is actaully doing you a favor by saying no, because he's holding the friendship together. I think both of you need some time to sort out your feelings for each other. You obviously are compatiable on emotional and physical levels. In the mean time, don't contact him. Let him reach out to you. Within the next few weeks you will get an idea of what he is feeling. He may back off for awhile if you disappear because he will think you are not interested in speaking to him anymore, but I am sure you will hear from him. I can def see something coming out of this, despite the way he is acting. This is just a typical man, having what he wants in the palm of his hand, and having no clue what to do with it! Just stay strong, you were not used, and do not feel stupid for what you have done.