What's the best way to ask my therapist out for a date?

[flealancer]

Hi guys,

I need your help this time.

I've actually been going for therapy at this local hospital for the past 3 months as I fractured a finger.

Over the 3 months, I've gone for a total of like 4 therapies and 3 out of the 4 therapies, this female therapist has been treating me.

I have a real crush on this therapist ever since she first treated me.

I just got back from my 4th and last therapy (as I've been discharged by her) and we had a nice small conversation during the therapy.

The problem is, I've been discharged already and won't be seeing her anymore unless I get fractured again ( I don't want to get fractured anymore as it means, no pay leave for me ).

I am really keen to ask her out for a dinner.

So, does anybody have a good suggestion how to ask her out ?

I was thinking of sending a invitational letter via postage through her department, what do you guys think ?

Oh, and one thing, when we spoke during the therapy, her cheeks suddenly became so red, which I was surprised. What does that mean?

Guys, I'll be waiting for a good response.

Updates

+1 y

And she's an occupational therapist guys.

Updates

+1 y

I sent the letter via registered mail cos I know that anybody can get it.

Well, status is : item delivered.

I guess, I can forget about it since I got no replies on my mobile.

I tried right afterall ?

[rdr005]

I don't believe its a good idea. With therapy and other social work like that, they deal with people like this all the time. I'm sure because of the talks or the treating you suddenly feel like you like her, whether she's physically treating you and its turning you on, or she's talking to you and makes you feel better about yourself. Her job is a job that requires professionalism and isn't easy to get in... especially with laying offs for jobs in that field. She will probably try to be nice, but deny any off you send. Its a job where there's probably been others that have asked her out and such, and she'll see it as, "I don't date my clients." Its really not the best of circumstances to pursue someone. I'm sorry that you may feel "attracted" to her, but its simply not the best situation for you. You said looking for a good response... so I hope you stay open minded to mine (and others I've read) that a good response isn't always the response you want to hear.

As for the red cheeks... you could have possibly said something to cause embarrassment. Its not always a sign of "awww *blush* that was sweet."

[Subotai]

Is she a good therapist? Do you still want/need therapy. Because the second your ask comes out the professional relationship is ruined. She is friendly and comforting to you as part of your job. She may genuinely like as I imagine you usually are friendly and cheerful with her. That's not necessarily the same thing as attraction. She may lose the respect she has for you if you do this. Better for both of you to not and leave it at an enjoyable interaction. I bet she's good looking she can't go marrying every guy she gives therapy to who thinks she's attractive and she's not a "sex therapist" who does happy endings

[Anonymous]

to be honest... I don't think it is a good idea. I will tell you... do not expect her to say yes. if you are serious about asking her... go in there with the idea... that she will most likely tell you no.

she may have a boyfriend. she may not date coworkers. she may not date clients. there could be a number of reasons for her no... but whatever you do... do not let this get to you.

the thing about having a therapist is that they are a non familiar person in your life. with that... they are able to listen and make it more comfortable for you to open up to them in order to help you.

she could possibly lose her job or she may be a lesbian, she may have a boyfriend... you don't know... you may even only have feelings for her because you feel like you were able to open up to her... AND for her... that is just her job... getting you to open up. SO... please think about this, and if you go through with askin her out expect a No and be understanding.

If she says yes... take it slow... but... I doubt she will. (Just being honest)

[Boneless-skeletal]

Why do you post anonymously?

[Opinion Owner]

because... I don't know why this guy was in therapy to begin with. and you don't need to know what I look like or who I am... all that is being asked is an opinion... in which I gave.

[bunny420]

'I've actually been going for therapy at this local hospital for the past 3 months as I fractured a finger.'

[Opinion Owner]

lol... okay. so a broken finger led to 3 months of therapy... anyways... that was my advice. go for it, ask her, if she says no... that's life. move on. point blank!

[Droosilla]

Go with what Camilus said XD

You need to do it in person, preferably.. but I guess a greeting card could be kinda nice.. or rather send a note with one flower.. not a rose.. something a little unexpected. Maybe look-up the flower meanings and pick one. Maybe a Gardenia... ("You're Lovely, Secret Love") ... or just something pretty XD

As for the cheeks getting red.. doesn't necessarily mean anything.. could be that she was nervous, embarrassed by something you said or even from remembering something that happened to her before your session... or even that she has the hots for you.. only one way to find out ;)

[ginny]

I think you are talking about an occupational therapist right? If so, sending an invitation to dinner is a bad idea -sorry it's unethical. She probably won't even receive it. My nurse manager opens all cards sent to my department. lol

What you can do is send a thank you card to her department that says something about the treatment you received. You can also say something like, “I hope to see you again, but not for a fracture!” Put your return address and email on the envelope so she can contact you if she wants to. :)

[ginny]

oh duh... I missed the update :)

[ConfidentNerd]

I'd be careful. There's some sort of "syndrome" or what have you where people fall in love with their therapists (any sort) because they think they're sweet or kind or helpful when they're just doing their job. I'd first of all try to figure out if you like her because of who she is or if you like her just because of those things, that way you won't be in for a huge let down later on if she turns out not to be the sort of person that you really like.

As for how to ask her out, uh... ask her? Call her, ask to meet up with her, something. Don't send an e-mail or a text message or something because those seem a little cowardly. Imagine how many times people must ask her out, being a therapist - go out on a limb and ask her face to face, or at least voice to voice.

[MeuAmor]

This

[WonderingNomad]

Since she's not your therapist anymore, you don't have to worry about the ethical dilemma. It's not like she's your psycho therapist or anything. I think you should go for it. But, because she used to be your therapist, I wouldn't send a letter to her work. This could make an awkward situation for her if someone else saw it. For the same reason, I would also advise you not to show up at her work either. The optimal situation would be contacting her some way outside of work. But if you don't have that ability, I would give her a call at work (you'll probably have to leave a message; don't be too personal here, just leave your name, number and ask that she give you a call back). From there, if you get a chance to talk, you can ask her out quickly over the phone. If not, see if you can get her number and then give her a call once she gets off work. I hope everything works out! This would be a really cute romance!

[Yeahhbro]

Just go like "heeeyyy xxxxx I had a really good time with you here and I really liked your company, so I was hoping now that therapy its over that we can see each other outside maybe for a dinner or a movie or whatever, I don't want to stop talking to you.". I fit doesn't work at least you tried.

[Boneless-skeletal]

You do realize that any respectable psychologist is not allowed to cross this line...

Is it possible for your paths to cross in a non-work (non-therapy) environment? Like the female Anonymous User said, it is her job to be nice to you, so you must meet her outside her job before you can take it further. This will also show if she is interested in you in a romantic way, and not just as a client.

This is perhaps not what you want to hear, but show some respect for her situation.

[sikoo31]

well you might not want to send it to where she lives, most girls who find out a stranger knows where she lives get creeped out by it. she might think you've been stalking her.

as for the red cheeks, either she was being shy or you turned her on somehow, obviously unknowingly. you could just show up at her work and ask her out in person, she'll like that, I hope.

[JustDance]

I believe... that your 3 month recuperating time with her was your window.

And now its closed.

Next time, be bolder and ask her out sooner rather than later. Or else it will always bite you in the ass because chances are now, she will say no.

[Anonymous]

i agree with justdance, you should have asked her out as soon as you realized you wanted to go out with her. it would have been a lot better to ask her out then, than send her postage mail asking her out. that is a tad bit on the creepy side and there are women, who through past experiences, get creeped out easily. at least you tried, but use this situation to learn what to do next time

[Camilus]

"So... would you want to go out to dinner with me sometime, or do I have to break another finger to see you again?"

[flealancer]

you mean via a greeting card ? is that alright ? cos I don't go for therapy anymore.

[coralinaXxX]

I do not think that you should send a greeting card the first time you ask her out. Nowadays, so much of communication is impersonal, and although a card is a cute idea, calling her and asking her over the phone shows maturity and balls. (And as a girl, it is extremely hard to turn someone down when they ask you so directly - it puts us on the spot!) All you need is to say who you are and identify that you're the guy with the broken finger, and casually ask her for dinner.

[myspacemybroke]

Haha best line right there man.

[Droosilla]

Coralina is so right. Sending a card might be thoughtful, but can be SO easily tossed out, or forgotten.

[Confused614]

Even if you don't go to therapy anymore can't you stop by and visit for a minute?

[coralinaXxX]

You technically could stop by, but I think that might be crossing the line IF she has a boyfriend or is not interested. If she has a boyfriend, you want to make it the most comfortable situation for her that is possble. If she doesn't have a boyfriend, and is interested, you want to show her your confidence and maturity. Obviously the in-person option is the best for situation B, but since you and her only talked in a professional environment, you have no idea what her status is.

[flealancer]

Why would you say greeting cards will be easily tossed out ?

I mean, If the greeting card is meant for her, especially when she receives it at work, it's something rare to get right ?

In my 5 years of my working career, I've never received a greeting card.

[coralinaXxX]

Haha you're missing the point. Yes, the greeting card idea is EXTREMELY RARE and VERY CUTE, and it would be LOVELY to recieve one. But there is NO consequence if she simply says " hm that's nice" and tosses it out. I'm just saying from a woman's perspective. I haven't gotten a greeting card, but I've gotten emails/notes and they just get ignored. Whereas sometimes I get a phone call from someone I am not at all interested in and since they called I really can't say no. So I give them a shot.

[coralinaXxX]

Hey I have something else to say - don't get discouraged by people telling you not to ask her. Obviously you guys had chemistry. And the worst thing that could happen is she declining your offer.

[AnonymousDude]

Not to be mean, but what I hear on why girls don't ask guys out is rejection is waaay too hard.

[ginny]

AnonyousDude, it sure is a good thing that you are doing it then. If you didn't we would all be single forever! :P

[coralinaXxX]

I ran out of room on the other comment box!

Okay so what I am saying, is since you don't know if she is single, with someone, or even married, you should not visit her in person. It could be very uncomfortable for her. I honestly believe that you have the best chance of success with a short but sweet phone call! I really hope this works out it's a cute story to tell the grandkids ;)

[Anonymous]

Just meet her occasionally after her shift off, and just talk.

can you send her a cute gift with your no (private).

and invitation letter is not a good idea.

I think you should meet her occasionally after her shift.

Good luck

[JustDance]

thats freaking creepy. Are you like this?

[TylerMMA]

From the title alone I assumed you were crazy lol, you have to admit... that sh*t sounds bad.

[justsayingso]

your therapist could lose her job if she dated you. don't go there.

[DanielSan]

bullsh*t. that is such a ridicolous claim

[JustDance]

if he isn't a patient anymore, I think its perfectly legal and fine...

[Peedesperation]

I have a feeling that they don't date their clients

[bunny420]

I want to date my therapist to but she just thinks I'm craaazzzyyy.

[jacquesvol]

She'll know more about that than you do.

[kikihow]

She may be in a relationship. I would have called and left her a message at the hospital to call you back. Getting a date invitation via registered mail is a little creepy.

[curlvenget]

there is been a very small difference I guess.