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Most guys in my past who have "voiced" they liked me have done it somewhat indirectly and not in a way where I could give a yes or no answer.
In most of those cases I felt no remorse. I've had guys tell me they like me through a third party, I've tactfully made excuses on why I don't want to go on a date, and so on.
In some of these cases there was a red flag. Like one of the guys I had a fling with where he pushed me too far too fast. Another made it known to me that I had nice boobs before he asked me out for some coffee. Another was just very passive aggressive about liking me.
I don't feel bad in all those cases because a guy never poured his heart out to me nor was straightforward. Also if a guy proves to be not the best candidate before hand for perfectly good reasons then why should I feel bad? I get it takes a degree of courage to boldly tell a woman you like her or vice versa but if somebody did that to me, I would turn them down the nicest way down and probably feel a bit bad. If I saw no reason to not date a guy except maybe a lack of feelings (which can develop over the dating period) then I would probably also give it a go just because you never know and I respect straightforwardly bold actions.
My current serious boyfriend was one of the most straightforward guys I have experienced. He told me he liked me and asked if I did too, and the next day he asked me to be his girlfriend. He was aggressive and did not give up... and unless a girl acts uncomfortable or shows she's not into you, then I think all guys should try to be like that. It's easier on both parties and although rejection sucks, it's better to not spend more energy on someone and move on.
Gosh, I would feel immensely guilty of even thinking of rejecting a guy who might genuinely like me. As a teenager, there were a few times when I said yes to guys who really liked me but I didn't reciprocate those feelings for them. I did it because I was so afraid to hurt their feelings. However, I learned with time that I couldn't force "directed affections" on my part either.
So, I finally started paying attention to cues of attraction. When I get the feeling a guy likes me and I don't like him back that way, I try to avoid one-on-one moments or private conversations by smoothly staying in a group. I pretend to be oblivious about the nature of their "Do you want to grab a bite/coffee?" questions and never accidentally allude that there is reciprocation on my part.
After that approach, most guys got the hint that I didn't think of them that way and I was lucky to maintain honest friendships with them all. Sure, some have faded away from my life but at least we exited on a good note. :)
I'm the type who will sometimes cry after rejecting someone. I would rather someone reject me than me reject someone. I feel the pain of heartbreak is easier than breaking someone else's heart. I just always feel bad and sometimes guilty, even if I can't help how I feel. I really, really hate hurting people.
Honestly, I don't completely buy a woman feeling all that bad about rejecting a man. Chances are, she'll never see him again, at the least probably won't talk to him again. I don't know many guys who want to be around a girl that, ultimately, told him he's "not good enough." Men are use to rejection. Women are fully aware of this. Guy moves on, girl gets with whomever is "worthy" in her book, & life goes on.
Honestly, why do guys care what girls, who reject them, feel about doing the rejecting? The moment she made it clear he wasn't good enough, she should turn into a distant thought in his mind, soon to be forgotten.
People who have some amount of sympathy generally feel bad for the person they are rejecting. Understand that the person, if they are a decent person, isn't rejecting you for kicks. She's not rejecting you for fun. She's rejecting you because she sees no other alternative.
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This is kind of a complicated question. I don't think anyone likes to hurt another person's feelings especially if their interest in you is sincere. But rejection always hurts on some level. If a nice guy is just 'probing', you know just checking things out if you want to date I like to make room to add him on as a friend with my friends when there is a social event or just hanging out someplace after school. You never know if he'll also find one of my cute unattached gf's and hit it off. Now if a guy has a serious crusher on me, well this is a different picture. There's almost no way to soften the hurt he might be feeling so this is what I like to do: I try and tell him how great it was he approached me and how flattered I am. I tell him one or two things I find nice about him that any girl would like and I especially praise him for stepping up and sharing his interest in me and how that shows a lot of confidence. It's my hope hope that he walks away with his self-esteem flying high. I usually don't invite him to hang out however like the former situation because I find that if the crush is serious he just makes more efforts at hooking up and this definitely makes me feel uncomfortable.
No... because i didn't know him and he didn't know me... it was you that liked me and it's not my fault that you get upset lol you just have to learn to take rejection a lot better, honestly i've learned to just say no and walk away because i've tried in the past to let guys down easily but if i'm nicer to them they take the niceness as a sign of interest (don't ask me why i have no clue), but if i don't walk away they try to catch me in this web that makes me feel extremely awwkward, they go on asking me all the reasons why i don't like them trying to some how "fix" it and some how change the way i feel. What's a huge turn off though is how you think you like a girl from just her physical attractiveness, i DO NOT like it when a guy just comes out and drops a bomb on me like that lol especially in front of other people... because then everyone is expecting you to say yes you do like him back.. . and then when you say you don't your some how a shallow bitch... so i bolt it before the situation escalates lol.
Had this happen to me a few times and actually once not too long ago. If I don't feel it back though I tell him why. I try and put myself in his shoes and ya not everybody takes rejection well... or at all, but everybody should learn that having feelings always comes with the risk of heartbreak. Sure, It stings and it may take some time to get over it and during that time it aches as well, but he'll get over it eventually. I feel like its my job in the situation to help him get his foot in the door with that. So, I keep in mind that if it was me getting rejected I'd want to know why. Someone laughing in your face and going "Ew, never" isn't going to help and is surely not the only thing my mind can come up with as to why not. So, I explain - and not with the "Its not you its me" or "I'm happy being single" because everyone knows those are lies. I think of the real reason and give it - no matter how harsh. Then he can walk away with not only an explanation but also a step in the right direction into finding someone for him. Examples I've used; I don't feel like I know you enough and vice versa, I've seen the way you've treated girls in the past and I don't need that stress, I'm not sexually attracted to you, etc. Reminder: When I do this, I make it a conversation - not just a sentence. I include him and let him have his say. These conversations fucking suck, but I do them because I've been in their shoes and even if you haven't people should be sympathetic. He was honest enough to tell you how he felt, we need to be honest back in why we don't agree. I think it's the way to go.. but what do I know.
Note: Some guys have allowed my honesty to backfire on me by saying that is why they love/like me and end up having a bit of a hold on me forever... but for the most part they've moved on quicker knowing I'm totally not into it. They still want to stay friends always though... never a good idea.
Nah I wouldn't feel bad about it. I'd feel bad if we spent time together and he wasted his time on me by talking, kissing etc and then I say I like someone else. See guys can do that shit and then pull that I don't want to hurt you bullshit just bc they told you and came clean about liking someone else.
I've rejected a guy who had a crush on me simply bc I didn't know him. I DIDN'T want to know him. He looked like we didn't have anything in common with. He was also 20 years older than me. What's a 45 year old doing asking a 25 year old out when he has kids my age? That's fucked up in my opinion. Plus I hate cats and the way he talked about his cats made it seem like he lived alone with them. I don't hate cats, I just don't want them climbing all over the place or on me rather.
The guy could be super cute too but I'll reject him simply bc I don't see us having a future together. I need something in common with to develop an emotional connection with. The physical just doesn't do it for me anymore. I can have sex and feel nothing but I don't want to settle for that bullshit.
To be honest, I'm a sensitive person, so I've had a hard time rejecting guys. There's just always something going on in my life to get in the way of relationships. Whether it be grades, health, or family emergencies. I just don't always have the time. It's really heartbreaking for me because I know that it takes courage and a whole lot of confidence to confess to someone. The fact that some of those guys could genuinely be wonderful people makes me so regretful. I've never rejected a guy because of appearance or other shallow reasons. I believe in giving people chances. But it would only hurt them more if I agree to a relationship that I know would never work out. If a girl rejects you, don't take it to heart. You don't know what might be going on in her life. Just find the confidence to move on. There are so many opportunities to meet wonderful people, and it doesn't make sense to stick yourself in the mud worrying about one person. Keep looking. You'll find someone even more genuine and precious.
I'll feel sorry for him because I know rejection can hurt, but it's not like I'm going to dwell on it too much. In the end, it's something that everyone has to deal with and there's nothing you can do about it. Might as well suck it up and go on with your day, that's what I do.
I feel bad, but he will have to get over it. It took me one year to get over being rejected and still I think I was only saved from that by a genuine, loving, mutual relationship I have with my current boyfriend. I only blatantly rejected 2 guys (back in middle school when I was short-haired, had no interest in boys and everyone thought I was lesbian). I didn't feel bad back then though, because I thought they were assholes for embarrassing me in front of other students. I actually threw a salmon sandwich at one of them.
I have had a bad experience for feeling empathy for someone I rejected, probably because I had the bad luck in meeting someone like him. He was an imbecile bastard, he forced and manipulated things, including my mother, so he could get his way with me even though I clearly rejected him and told him that we could only be just friends.
I only accepted him as a friend, but he and my mother confused me and made me thing that I was the bad one. It took me between 2 and 3 years to get rid of him, but if I have been harder, colder and didn't care of what others were thinking, I would have gotten ridden from him in just a few months.
I'm not a fan of the poll choices because I don't feel bad, but I also am not the type to think "Oh yeah, fuck that guy. Who needs him, lol!" I don't feel bad, I feel a little awkward. Like, most of the time when anyone has liked me like that and I rejected them, they've still stayed my friend afterward. It's only happened twice, though. The rest of the times me and the guys lost contact, not like I really care though. Either way, I'm more interested in females so I really don't feel that bad when I tell a guy no. I hate hurting people, too, but I feel like it's better to be honest than lead them on thinking I am into them when I'm not.
I do feel bad, especially if it's a friend of mine. It's happened a few times. I'm the type of person that likes to make people happy and if I can help I'll do what I can. But in a case where a guy or girl would confess to me and I didn't like them back, there is nothing I can do. In fact, what I have to do is going to hurt them, and I absolutely hate hurting people.
Unless the person was an asshole to begin with. Then I have no sympathy.
And then there are the people that keep trying anyway even though you rejected them multiple times. I may feel bad at first, but after a while it gets annoying and then I don't feel bad anymore. I just want them to stop.
When it comes to the guy being older or being the same age as you, that is different. But, when they are younger than you, you have the right to control the relationship. When I was in high school, a freshman had a crush on me. I thought it was sweet that a freshman liked me, but I was 18 and was about to graduate in 4 months. When the poor thing finally asked me out, I turned him down. I have nothing against dating someone who is younger than you. However, when people are at different stages in life, it can be harder to start a relationship with them. Did I feel bad after rejecting him? Not really, I actually felt relieved.
Of course. It sucks rejecting someone, especially because I know how it feels to be rejected. But let me tell you, it's usually a lot easier to reject the disrespectful guys than the sweet guys. With that said, if I am not interested in a guy, I am not going to pretend that I am interested just to protect his feelings. I try to let him down as nice as possible. Rejection hurts, but at least it lets you know that she wasn't interested and that you can move on to another girl who is interested.
Rejection is inevitable for everyone. Girls go through it, too. As long as you are respectful, the girl you are approaching should be nice about it.
Yes, I usually feel pretty bad. I would like to believe that most people don't like to intentionally cause pain. And I know it hurts because I've been rejected just as much as I've rejected another. But I think it's also necessary. You can't make yourself have feelings for someone. Doesn't matter how genuine/sincere their feelings might be for you.
I think it would be more mean to lead on or give false hope. I think it would hurt a guy more in the long run if I lead him on awhile rather then just being upfront and firm with him. But yes, it makes girls feel bad. Just like it probably makes guys feel bad to turn down sincere girls.
It depends. I've had to reject a few guys, and honestly, I've had different feelings every time. For instance, my neighbor moved here like 10 years ago, and her son has always obviously liked me. He was extremely strange tho. He followed me around, and pretty much stalked me when I was at home, waiting for me to walk outside for something so he could run over to talk to me. Then it got to the point where he always has to sit next to me or be touching me. And he came to my house uninvited and started going through my stuff. He asked me to be his girlfriend and yes, I rejected him. I felt bad in the sense that he was so clingy and weird that it would be hard for him to actually find a girl. I've been rejected before, by my current fiancé in fact (hehe I won) it doesn't feel good. I guess it just depends on the kind of guy. If he's sweet and genuine, the yes, I'd feel like crap for rejecting him.
I don't like rejecting people. Don't get me wrong it's not like I suppress my feelings or act like a door mat. I do it gently but I do it. Sometimes being straight and telling it as it is can save both me and the guy the trouble. If I knew it in me that we aren't going to work out or that I just don't see him that way then rejecting him in the beginning is a much better option than dragging him in a superficial relationship just for the sake of a relationship.
I'm saying this -even though I'm in danger of being called immature- but sometimes knowing that someone likes me brightens my day. So even if I don't want you, I still appreciate your move, it is still somewhat a mood boost and I'm human enough to be nice about it. Besides haven't we all at some point been the ones with an "unreachable" crush? I know I have. ..
I will actually feel really bad for rejecting a guy, and I will dwell on it for sometime, agonizing over how I hurt his feelings, etc. I hate doing it. But in the end if I don't feel the same way, I'm not going to lie. Honesty in a relationship is extremely important to me. In the end I tell myself it's better to be honest about my feelings than pretend I'm into him when I'm really not. I just recently went through this with one of my best guy friends. It was a month ago, and I'm still upset about it.
I've been rejected and also rejected someone, and whilst both suck, for me, rejecting someone is harder. I hate knowing that the way I feel (or in this case, don't feel) is going to hurt the person in front of me. If the guy wasn't very confident and it took a lot of courage for him to confess to me, then I'd feel even worse if I rejected him, as it might shake his confidence to do so in future. Whatever the case, I always try to use my words carefully so I can be as polite and compassionate as I can so I don't cause unnecessary pain for the guy. But I always feel incredibly awful as I hate hurting others.
I can support both sides of this, but at the end of the day your number one priority needs to be you. Although I may feel genuinely bad for having to shut him down, if it wasn't right for me and it wasn't what I wanted then in the long run I'm doing him a fav. You have to be strong for yourself, and women having this attitude benefits men as well. The head games stop, leading men on for whatever reason stops, and women end up with men who they are commited to and respect and not some Joe who came along they didn't have the heart to reject.
If she doesn't reciprocate your feelings, why are you hanging on to the idea of a relationship with her. Let her go... or if she's the type that knows you have a thing for her, and keeps you around dangling the possibility but without ever intending to start something, then she is selfish and you need to run, not walk, away. I feel bad in the moment for rejecting someone, because who likes to disappoint, but no one is entitled to a relationship because they have feelings. If it doesn't work for both people, it doesn't work. Period.
Yes of course I feel bad - I don't like to see someone get hurt! But ultimately, that is not logical - it is my right to choose who I want to date. I have control over myself and boys who like me aren't "owed" a date or a relationship just because they like me... Do you really not understand that? Like.. anyone with a heart feels bad when someone gets rejected. So either you're assuming women are heartless or you're saying men are entitled to date a woman so they don't have to deal with the pain of being rejected - which is something EVERYBODY feels at some point.
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