My boyfriend told everyone I'm still a virgin?

[Anonymous]

Everyone ! All his friends!

In his book it's a good thing, but you know it's not exactly something I go parading around and want people to know

We were talking about having sex for the first time and well I AM a bit embarrassed I haven't done it at my age. He said "Don't be, all my friends agree it's a great thing". I asked him and he actually told his friends. Why would he do that? He doesn't even see anything wrong with it

And it actually gets worse. He went on saying that with most girls sleeping around he just wanted to let them know that there are still "good girls" out there.
What bothers me is that he evaluates women as good and bad based on how many men they've been with. What does that say about the way he views women? I haven't asked numbers, but I know he's been with at least a dozen girls himself, so he doesn't really get to judge

[V4lkyrie2]

Some men view virgins as trophies... I'm not saying that's what he's doing, but sharing the fact that you are a virgin with all his friends kinda leans that way for me.

As far as what it says about him, it's very hypocritical. There is nothing wrong with a women being secure and pursuing her own sexuality. Unfortunately a double standard still exists where if a man sleeps with a lot of women he's a stud, and if is a woman does it she's a whore.

Does he have any tendencies for control? Like he tells you what outfits to wear, doesn't ask your opinion when you go out somewhere, tells you that you've got friends he doesn't like or are 'bad' for you?

[Asker]

well no really controlling. He always asks for my opinion and he is very caring actually

[V4lkyrie2]

I can see how he's very caring by telling all his friends about one of the most intimate details of your life. Leaves a very bad taste in my mouth...

I would break up with him just based on the principle that he violated my trust by sharing out something very private and personal for you. I'll guarantee he'll he right off to tell the boys ALL about it after the deed is done. What's worse is based on his twisted view, you would be somehow less clean or less worthy after he had you. If he wants to hold you as a true 'trophy' he will break up with you not long after... virgin collectors aka douche bags

You deserve better!

[kaylaS91]

Sounds a lot like my ex. He made it common knowledge amongst his friends that I was still a virgin when I was 19. Every party I went to, at least one of them would bring that up in conversation, in semi disbelief. I hated it. Eventually it's one of the things that led me to sleep with him as my first, only to be cheated on by him around a week later.

Tell him you don't give two shits if he likes that you've a 'good girl' or not. That he has to stop sharing that piece of personal information as if you're nothing but some sort of prized good.

[Graybell09]

I reccommed to break up with him because 1) when (or even if) you guys have sex, he will tell all his friends 2) he told personal information about you that you felt uncomfortable with and that you didn't give permission to tell 3) what will he think of you when you guys have sex or do anything across those lines? Will your "value" go down because you don't have your virginity anymore? Will he move on to the next Virgin after he's done with you?
he's been with numerous girls, so he obviously had some sort of double standards

[Anonymous]

well you shouldn't be shy i would like everyone to know that my girl is a virgin, but ofcourse i would ask her first

[Asker]

but it's a private matter. Noones business

[Opinion Owner]

that's right but it is cool to show that my girl is just mine and i am just her's

[Klaatu51]

he's an asshle then... he's spreadin rumors more or less ;)

[Kelser31]

Can you say "douche bag". I was a virgin when I met my boyfriend, I am pretty sure he told nobody, cuz why would he want to tell everyone he is with a girl and is getting no action with her cuz she is a virgin? You know what I mean? (granted we did do other things, but it was mostly me getting all the pleasure). Anyway he told me at first he liked me cuz I was a virgin and he really liked the thought of being with a girl that had never been with a guy before, but def not because it made me any better or worse than any other girl out there. That guy is one of the reasons why feminism exists. This whole double standard thing that guys can be sluts and get praised while girls who are sluts get shunned. I say he can go fuck himself, and you go find someone who thinks of you as a good girl based on things other than the fact that you are a virgin.

[BellePepper]

I think you hit the nail on the head with this one. Way to be awesome! If he sees some sort of worth in how many people a girl has slept with it's always a sign of trouble. If he sees you as less or dirty after he's touched you the problem is not with you. It's with him.

[I_am_repulsive]

Wow, talk about trusts. You confided that to him and he tells everyone about it and you probably felt disrespected for it.

[I_am_repulsive]

He sounds like a bad omen to me to be honest.

[Ashely_Princess]

I think you should break up with him because he had no business telling his friends that you were still a virgin. That's just disrespectful.

[I_am_repulsive]

I second this to be honest.

[Ashely_Princess]

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

To he honest he sounds quite childish and immature. As a couple you should trust each other and keep you private issue private. Breach of confidentiality!

[alwaysbert]

honestly you need someone better and don't settle for a guy like that

[HexagonalZebra]

Dude sounds like an asshole.