why should their intentions not be sexual?
let's make that clearer.
Let's assume a man is looking for The One, the girl he wants to live with until his nuts are shriveled, her tits hang to her knees, they get old, and die.
Let's say he is looking for his one true love.
When YOU want romance, do you look at people you find desirable, or do you look at the fattest most disgusting fuck of a man you can find, to ensure that your love for him is pure and not contaminated by sexual desire?
People like sex. People want sex. Even in the most deep, committed, loving and romantic relationship, sex is a cornerstone. And there is nothing on any level wrong or immoral about that.
So, if you DO NOT WANT to deal with guys who want nothing serious, and are just hoping for casual sex, one night stands, and hook ups? I get you. I really do. There are guys that see no appeal in those things either.
But even if real romance and love is what you crave, you MUST accept that sexual interest and desire IS A PART of what people are looking for. And it is the guiding part. We seek out those we are attracted to, first, and THEN get to know them.
And it needs to be said that, just because a guy desires you sexually? Just because such desire is his motivating factor for talking to you? That does not mean he does not care about, or respect, who you are as a person.
Human Nature is my best guess.
en.wikipedia.org/.../Life_expectancy
For the longest period of human history (and we're probably looking at millions of years here, so if you're heavily religious this might not be able to make sense), only a fair number made it to between 10-20 years old or so. To have kids and continue the existence of the human race, we'd be wanting to get women pregnant at your age and maybe sometimes even younger. It's built into us, and fades somewhat over time. (recently I even read that older males are supposedly more likely to produce offspring with genetic defects.)
Our biological evolution hasn't caught up with our technological evolution. (and probably never will, considering how scared people are of gene editing) We'd be relying on the evolution of our society to keep things in check and help people live easier and meaningful lives.
I would be one to suggest that many of our societal pressures that many believe to directly influence this kind of behavior is also but a result of the way things have evolved.
It's not that you don't have other things to offer. It's simply that you are attractive and guys think with their dicks. It's biological. There are always going to be those kinds of people who want something from us. It doesn't matter what it is. If we have it and they need it, they are going to want it from us: sex, money, status, protection, whatever. Some people just prey on others like this, sometimes unintended.
As they become more sexual
1. ask them why... in case someone's got gossip going on you... then you can eliminate the source and thus this problem
2. begin to dress less sexual as they advance on you - strap the puppies down, no cleavage, not so much skin
3. they persist still? - hair, makeup, etc. has to be hitchhiker quality, close to "ugh"
I asked a similar thing few days ago... and i hope gagers can help us here
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1941870-why-are-the-guys-i-meet-doesn-t-take-me-seriously
Stop being "naive" and giving it up so easily, make them work for it. lol
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It is a direct result of peer-pressure-enforced gender segregation, and the idea that "males and females cannot be friends". As a result, many guys are unable to empathize with women, and only see the possible relationship between them as either "sex or nothing".
O you know it's just because your so gosh darn fabulous.
media.giphy.com/media/124Krb15ebYtnG/giphy.gif
Alright joking aside I honestly don't know *shrugs* I mean I've talked with you before and your attractive sure but I've never gotten a sexual vibe from you. Of course this is online, you could give off different vibes in real life who knows.
Is there anything consistent you may be doing with all of these guys that keep getting the wrong idea or behavior that might give them the wrong idea?
Objectification. Lust. Physical desire. I like to think of desire, intimacy and relationship existing on three levels. The first, physical, I have mentioned. The second: emotional/mental, things lining up, it being practical, having things in common, having 'feelings' for each other. The last is the illusive spiritual one. This one probably eludes most people because well, we're all sceptical and orientated towards matter. Anyway, no matter. The point being that sex and physical desire is natural. But to move beyond it, is really about *quality* in my view. Most people just want physical gratification. And that's what you will find if you move though relationships unconsciously.
I could *bang* a girl. I do flirt with the idea. In practice, I don't. It's just a hollow gratification, a kind of 'mutual masturbation'. Quality and intimacy is important to me. If one seeks that, then hopefully, when things align, one should find it :)
Caveat: Don't take relationship advice from me ;)
"they all seem nice at first..." well, wanting sex doesn't turn them into bad guys...
Why they just want that? I don't know, maybe you're going for guys that just want that kind of things. Maybe the way you present yourself is more sexual. Maybe you don't seem to connect with neither of them so since there's no possible relationship, they think maybe you can at least have sex.
These are what you call "fake nice guys". If a guy only wants you for sex and nothing else then that ain;t good. My girlfriend is not ready for sex and so i respect that, im not going to say "ok let's do it, or i'm leaving you", some guys do that and pressure girls which is wrong. I'll wait until she is ready. I was always a nice guy and love to help people. Best thing i did for my girlfriend was woke up at 4:30 am to drive her to her clinical placement (she is a nursing student) cause her car wouldn't start and didn't want to wake her parents up but at 4:30 lol and yes i was like half awake when driving haha. Try and find a guy that likes you for you. Trust me i do want to have sex with my girlfriend but if she wants to wait, then i will wait too.
Honestly, I admit I'm a guy and I'm just like that. I just want sex really, not a relationship. However I don't think I or any other guys who are this way mean to hurt women. It may change as I get older but it's just how I'm wired. Many young Men unfortunately seem to be wired in a way that hurts women. A lot of us want casual sex whereas women seem to have a hard time with that as they get easily attached. I'm sure you'll find someone :)
Guys who typically hook up are only going to look for hookups. You need to -start- with guys who want a girlfriend or have dated girls in the past. Guys your age and even a few years older are not 'settling down', if anything they are more likely to go for hookups over relationships each year, so if he already is into hooking up, lost cause for you.
beyond that, you may not appreciate how much guys value sex. Sex with an attractive virgin? Girls in that situation have auctioned off their virginity for literally millions of dollars.
I'm not suggesting you do that. But I'm pointing out from a 'value' standpoint, it's like you're walking around with a million dollars waiting to hand to some guy, then wondering why they're so focused on that, not your shared hobbies. It doesn't mean you're not an awesome and interesting and fun person. It just means guys really -really- value sex.
At that age especially, just about every guy (if not all) is going to be thinking sexual thoughts. We're extremely horny almost all of the time honestly and you are beautiful. But, that's not to say that no guy is not going to want more (a relationship). Yes, some only want sex but not all. Think of how it feels for you when you're horny, now imagine that it's every day and almost all day long (this is what it's like for guys).
You'll have to filter out the ones that aren't like that Alex... and in may indeed take some patience.
Some guys go for every dress or skirt they see... the personality of the girl is not relavant to them :-(
But there are others, for sure! Though I would say: keep pushing the sex maniaks away from you. They won't make you happy :o
You'll soon meet that one steetheart who will :D
I've heard this from a plethora of women. Pretty much all women will experience this. Just accept men for who they are and find ways to manage it because you won't be able to change what mother nature intended. Its not their fault, they are built this way.
You're beautiful. That's why. Tho I agree you look innocent and naive. Which is probably a turn on for a lot of guys
Are you SURE their intentions are ONLY sexual, or are u being paranoid because you don't want to be 'used '?
Do u not like sex?
Try going after the guy you like instead of waiting for the hyper sexual ones to come to you. It seems that the type of guys girls like are lacking in one thing which is the confidence for the initial approach (of course not all decent guys lack that confidence but quite a lot of them that it severely limits your "decent guy" dating pool) so the majority of guys who approach are there for one thing.
Find a guy you like and if he's a pleasant dude don't wait. Ask him out.
one of the reasons is your age and the guys in your age group. i would say 90 % + of guys that age are thinking with the wrong head when it comes to relationship. sorry to be the one to tell you that
Does it help if I admit that my intentions are sexual? I never felt the need to lie about it or what not. Though my libido is kind of average I couldn't care any less about having a girlfriend.
It happens to all of us. Especially at your age, guys have no clue what they actually want and most will just want the sex with no strings attached. I agree though, can be very annoying.
Your going to deal with that a lot with guys your age and in their early 20s. If your open to dating older guys, you may want to find ones who are possibly in their later 20s who kind of got over the hump of wanting to hump anything that moves.
That's so weird. Maybe you are hanging around guys that just want that one thing from girls? Maybe you should try to talk or find a new group of people to be around
Us guys are attracted to that we like to take a girl's innocence away its like when someone hits a car they drive away or when a murderer leaves the scene of the crime. Even when I look at it you I just want to have my way with you and take your innocence away our penises are stupid.
Finally I find my twine, I feel you girl same for me, like seriously guys are we just sex machines to you?
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