Why does he freak out when I touch him??

I know he does not hate me, & he is attracted to me, so why does he freak out so much... I do not mean groping him or anything, just if touch his elbow by accident, or accidentally kick his foot, or brush by him as we pass... The tiniest touch & he gets Really tense?

Maybe he thinks i MEAN something by it- but I do not I just happens y accident, tho I do not MIND of course, but I do not go out of my way to DO it... The more relaxed I am & do not worry about it, the more it HAPPEN lol

GUYS, anyone have a being touched problem?

Help, advice, insight?

Thanks.

Updates:
btw He does not seem to mind OTHER people touching him, OR him touching OTHER people- apparently just me - so far ^ ^

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Most Helpful Guy

  • may be he is like me, and everywhere that is possible to touch tickles him O.O

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    • Lol

      i'm like that actually. hmm maybe , he usedto get annoyed tho when we were making out if I got ticklish I guess because it would ruin the mood. maybe he is and he does not say anything because its not manly to be ticklish- omg mabe you are right. I asked this quetion a while and weve been together since, but he stil holds me kind of away while we are 'together; its very strsange. but like he won't shake hands either- hell have sex but he won't shake my hand. I meant he's willing to , not that we did

    • Maybe that's why he holds me away from his stomach when we kiss & uses harder pressure rather than gentle, so I'll do the same & MAYBE that's why he pushed my hand away even tho he said it felt good lol

      itd be good if you are correct. what do you do if people touch you?

    • Most times when people touch me I jump up in the air!

      other times I just sort of spaz out :D

What Guys Said 25

  • Assuming you're not a 7-foot-tall Amazonian pit fighter, and he thus shrinks away in fear, and that he's not aphephobic, he's possibly hesitant to establish any physical contact while his heart is otherwise committed.

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    • I am not hugging him or anything, just like accidentally running into him or tapping his arm, like I do with anyone for emphasis is about whatever I am talking about.. He also works a lot & talks t me most of the time & we live in the same building, I never see him with anyone.

      Other people flirt with him & he dos not react that way.. Just people who are not into him & he does not know - he has a nice body I guess. hahaha

      Idk, problem, I do not do anything that is like heart involvement.^^

    • I suppose the bottom line is this: for whatever reason, he has some aversion to touching you/being touched by you. This being the case, doesn't this make you want to shy away from pursuing anything deeper?

    • I am not persuing anything, just talking to him when he talks to me. I recognize that he feels uncomfortable , but he spends alt of time talking to me..

      I am not mad at him so I have no reason to not talk to him, I just wonder why he acts weird & I asked not to solve it- just o understand it cause that makes ME feel like the world makes sense- if I understand it.

      :-)

  • it sounds to me like the man has some residing issues..most likly from his past, I would leave him be and if he doesn't want to talk then you may have to consider other options..

    and no I have no issues with being toutched..

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    • No.I mean he TALKS to me all the time,of his own volition I do not really approach him,not because I mid doing that, but because I recognize he has this response to me.

      So we talk & talk for a while, but he is very tense & once in a whole I something happens where I touch him by accident, he jumps or looks freaked out.

      I will not sto talking to him unless he asks me to or makes it clear that he does not want to talk to him, which at this point he has not.

      So I was curious about OTHER people*

  • How do you "accidently" touch this guy so often?

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    • Hahaha well, it stared out as accidental & I just pay attention... It does not happen that oft I was just surprised.

      Anyways the point I that the touches are the type of touches that would be considered accidental.

      & Really the main point beyond that is that he is sort of weird overall.

      He has been acting like I stole something or he tole something or something would be stolen, ever since I came back.

      that was what it was all about.

  • Sounds like he has social and or sexual performance anxieties or feels you have expectations of him being intimate too fast. Talk it out before you do it, for no more than a minute at a time, and smile when doing so the whole time, when you do and you will see he will eventually relax on both fronts.

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  • u said you dated a year ago.. his reactions would kinda make more sense if something you did something towards the end of the dating that got to him.. no pun intended but 1) maybe he likes you but is trying to let go and is paranoid of the idea that you want something w him again since he might not or 2) he simply doesn't want you touching him in any way..

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    • Soo it is disruptive if he is trying to free him-self & he does not want me rocking his inner tranquility?

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    • U on the other hand seem to enjoy the kind of reaction?

    • No. I am frustrated because I feel like I am doing something t him & his reaction is far out of proportion, & it confuse me& I do not want to be confused.. I just want peace with him.

      I feel bad when he responds that way because it seems artificial. He has touched me so much more that he can handle me doing now, it sort of REALLY bothers me, & I feel like we are fighting & I don't know why..

      NO - "U on the other hand seem to enjoy the kind of reaction?" - I would not say this is correct.

      :-)

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What Girls Said 12

  • generally if it's a small touch and it doesn't do any harm, it's not a big deal. I'm the type that doesn't like to be touched. depends on the person. try and talk it out and see if he can get over the fact of just a small touch. did he freak out like yell at you? or was he just saying 'hey', depends on how he reacted too.

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    • No no, I wish it was something mre overt... He just siort of jumps & looks like ihs sace has been invated.. But other people touch him & he is ok... & When he does o occasion outrught purposefully touch me , he is TOTALY calm about it.. at least he acts that way, tho I guess those times are planned..

      He dioes not sa h isMAD but he looks almost scared or relly confused.

      & It is not like grabbing him or anyting.. It is like if I tap his arm while I am talking- like BARELY, cause I AM NERVOUS

  • It sounds like you want people to tell you that it's because he likes you.

    If you like him, then just ask him out to coffee or something.

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    • NOPE.

      I want people to tell me, it is not because HE thinks I LIKE HIM. LOL

      I CAN'T ask him to coffee,we talk in a shop a lot of the day as it is lol

      No I generally see people who like someone ok with touch...

      Like I like him & I touch him, &he used to touch me when we met.. I am wondering if he is worried that I think he likes me like before.

      I am not trying to create that kind of foundation.

      I want things to be CASUAL, be friends - I broke up with him cause we never had a chance.

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    • Really ? haha, can you think of an example where you did that or someone else did that to you?

      -Just curious.

    • People react by being mad and resentful about anything all the time :S

      it is not really surprising, it's quite the human characteristic.

      when me and my boyfriend were going away to university and were going to be long distance, I spent the last 3 weeks of our summer together being moody, getting mad for little or no reason, and pushing him away.

  • Well who is this "he" and what is your relationship to him?

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    • Ll well, HE is someone that I know well enough that I should not have to ask OTHER people this question, SO here is either a problem with him or ME haha.

      Umm, we dated a year ago , he liked me for a long time before that - as I am told, I liked him right away.

      We got along pretty well until I stopped talking to him - complicated not his fault,& we talked about it before you left the country for 9 months.

      I have spent the last 7 months trying to talk to him, & we have been talking to him for th

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    • Maybe he jumps because your touch brings memories. Idk. Just ask him what his deal is- and you say he jumps with his eyes? So maybe you're perceiving it the wrong way.

    • Its both- he LOOKS shocked & or uncomfortable, & he also moves physically. ( the combo is what makes me pretty sure he is reacting oddly)

      I do't want to say anything to him about it - the last thing I want is for things to be any weirder lol

      I just wanted to see if maybe there was a normal explanation, cause I he IS that uncomfortable, I will have to be more careful- cause I don't WANT him to be uncomfortable.

      Anyways he would not tell me even if he KNEW, & maybe he is un- aware.

      :-)

  • This question intrigued me. I know this guy that does the same thing. We haven't dated or anything but we have always had this weird chemistry. Some days he has no problem with touching me, other days, he either jumps or freaks out. Just the other night I was showing him how I got this funny scar on my finger from cutting it a week ago. I told him to feel it as it was odd and he got all nervous. I said it's ok! It's a finger! Seriously, it's OK. And he got all nervous and said "that's ok., that's ok." I then said "oh for goodness sakes!" and rubbed my finger under his arm. He wasn't mad, in fact he giggled! WTF? He then showed me how he had hurt himself and when I asked to see it closer as I reached out to touch his hand, he jumped and kept his hand away. He use to have no problem bumping his hand into my shoulder or tapping me on the arm. I don't know what happened. We still talk etc, it's just that the tapping is gone. Sigh

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  • LOL he sounds like he doesn't want you to touch him, it's not as complicated as you think. He's not into you.

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