I know he does not hate me, & he is attracted to me, so why does he freak out so much... I do not mean groping him or anything, just if touch his elbow by accident, or accidentally kick his foot, or brush by him as we pass... The tiniest touch & he gets Really tense?
Maybe he thinks i MEAN something by it- but I do not I just happens y accident, tho I do not MIND of course, but I do not go out of my way to DO it... The more relaxed I am & do not worry about it, the more it HAPPEN lol
GUYS, anyone have a being touched problem?
Help, advice, insight?
btw He does not seem to mind OTHER people touching him, OR him touching OTHER people- apparently just me - so far ^ ^
Sounds like he has social and or sexual performance anxieties or feels you have expectations of him being intimate too fast. Talk it out before you do it, for no more than a minute at a time, and smile when doing so the whole time, when you do and you will see he will eventually relax on both fronts.
u said you dated a year ago.. his reactions would kinda make more sense if something you did something towards the end of the dating that got to him.. no pun intended but 1) maybe he likes you but is trying to let go and is paranoid of the idea that you want something w him again since he might not or 2) he simply doesn't want you touching him in any way..
Assuming you're not a 7-foot-tall Amazonian pit fighter, and he thus shrinks away in fear, and that he's not aphephobic, he's possibly hesitant to establish any physical contact while his heart is otherwise committed.
I don't have any problem from being touched like you mentioned. Maybe he thinks your leading him on, and doesn't know what to do anything or is scared of it all. He could just be weirded about the whole touching thing in general. Mayeb there was a past experience that got him to act the way he does.
He likes his space and actually doesn't like anyone touching him, he's just more real with you. & He is upset with you for some reason OR is just a very high strung person who needs to figure out how to relax. If you help him figure out how to relax, things will change dramatically...
I read the comments that you went out with him... That would do it. He kind of wants to avoid you. There's a good chance he fell too hard for you and got hurt. Try slowly getting into his circle of friends and getting close to him again, personally. You two may slowly make a connection again.
LOL this guy is somewhat like me...he seems like he's shy and unexperienced he's not use to a girl and something as simple as contact will freak us out. I've had times where I'm like so use to no contact at all its like freak out alert O_O
If he does like you, he wants to make sure no one knows it. Next time he freaks out when you accidentally touch him, then right after, play with him, jump on his back or touch him even more on purpose and see if he smiles or really gets mad. A smile will let you know he's got something for you. Getting angry means he really thinks you are gross :( Sorry.
Some guys just have touch issues I know from personal experience. If I get bumped or something in the community I usually tense up and get wicked agitated for a couple seconds. Also if I get touched other way usually affectionately it make me want to hurt people (I control my self) but it stresses me out, so I get really tense. I do have a few friend I've know for years that are exceptions though. Maybe he has a similar problem, touch problem are usually really specific. although judging by your update it doesn't sound like he does.
I had a girl complain that she thought I was freaked out by her touching me; when really, I arched away from her because she spilled scalding hot coffee on the back of my shirt, and it was hot! So my back stiffened a little from her, not because she was touching me, but because it was burning hot coffee on my back, and a drenched, icky coffee on my shirt.
There's a girl I used to like, and she'd come up and do this little weird quick back rub thing. Part of me LOVED it, but part of me would tense up because if I showed too much interest, or that I liked that, she'd have freaked out, and I didn't want to fall too hard for her by confusing a back rub with interest.
Some people don't like it, like some people don't like geting a massage because of the thought of someone else touching you. So it could be he may over sensitive to people touching him, talk to him about it there might be a reason,
generally if it's a small touch and it doesn't do any harm, it's not a big deal. I'm the type that doesn't like to be touched. depends on the person. try and talk it out and see if he can get over the fact of just a small touch. did he freak out like yell at you? or was he just saying 'hey', depends on how he reacted too.
This question intrigued me. I know this guy that does the same thing. We haven't dated or anything but we have always had this weird chemistry. Some days he has no problem with touching me, other days, he either jumps or freaks out. Just the other night I was showing him how I got this funny scar on my finger from cutting it a week ago. I told him to feel it as it was odd and he got all nervous. I said it's ok! It's a finger! Seriously, it's OK. And he got all nervous and said "that's ok., that's ok." I then said "oh for goodness sakes!" and rubbed my finger under his arm. He wasn't mad, in fact he giggled! WTF? He then showed me how he had hurt himself and when I asked to see it closer as I reached out to touch his hand, he jumped and kept his hand away. He use to have no problem bumping his hand into my shoulder or tapping me on the arm. I don't know what happened. We still talk etc, it's just that the tapping is gone. Sigh
if you know he's attracted to you then it may be just because he's a little shy or nervous around you.just give him time...i dated a guy like this once but he was very much into me, just had a little intimacy problems...it'll soon pass but for now try to let him come to you...
One of my friends is this way, too... We can be joking, laughing, having a good time...and then I touch his arm, or poke him or something, and he freaks out. I also asked to hug him (and of course) he said No. His reason was that only couples hug. But I think some people are generally more huggy and open, and others are more reserved. I think it's just how he is.
Is he your BF? If not then maybe he likes you so much that just by touching him you get him a little too excited. Or he hates you and thinks your weird/disgusting and doesn't want you touching him. Just ask him and he will tell you. but he is most likely just shy.