He won't touch me without my permission?

Question

So I've been talking to this guy for awhile and he told me he is shy and what not. Mind you he isn't shy while texting. Well I asked him if he was going to touch me any time soon. He said he wouldn't touch me without my permission. I thought guys were spontaneous and did. I am a little confused as to why he won't touch me without permission. I can't even drop subtle hints, i have to say its perfectly okay for him to touch me. I've never met a guy like that. I can't tell if he isn't into me or what.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

This is interesting because I feel the same. I don't always feel comfortable touching girls I like, because I don't want them to feel uncomfortable around them. I have a crush on a really wonderful girl at the moment, whenever I see her all I want to do is cuddle her, but I don't want her to get freaked out if I try to touch her. I'd feel much more comfortable if a girl gave me permission. I'd say, based on my experience, he is definitely into you very much, but he just doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. Maybe you should just tell him he can touch you when he likes if he feels like it, and rather you will tell him when it's not OK rather than when it is. Perhaps you can help me with a question, if a guy is chatting to a girl, and you know her reasonably well (like me and my crush, we are friends, not super close but we see each other fairly often), do girls generally feel OK with the guy touching her i. e. touching her arm or shoulder, putting his arm around her? Or is this something most girls are only OK with when she is dating him or in a relationship with him?

AleDeEurope · Accepted Answer

If we touch without permission, it's rape. If we don't touch until we get permission, it's bad too. What are we supposed to do? xD

AriadneSky · Accepted Answer

you're lucky. i think tats awesome. i hate it when guys just go for it and wait for a reaction to see its ok. he's being respectful. some guys are like that. many are not bc people say its weak. i dont think its weak i think its being patience and swerve composed and putting others first. which incidentally are traits welcome in a leader, not saying he should be leading im just saying in other circumstance this behavior is not weak. calling it walk is just an ex for guys o do whatever they want.

anyhow the is him. ts not confusing its just how he is. if it bothers you you can talk to him, see if he's ok being more flexible, but dont expect him to change.

xHoneyxBeex · Accepted Answer

He probably just wants to make extra sure that you're okay with it first before anything happens. When you haven't done anything yet, it's harder to know what someone's limits are unless you have a very direct conversation about it. When you are more established in your relationship, I'm sure he won't mind being more spontaneous.

wingattebaby16 · Accepted Answer

Sounds like a Gentleman! He respects women so much, he won't invade your personal space without your permission. Is he the same way when you touch him? or does he let you and never says anything?

Mesonfielde · Answer

It's so that you don't think he's raping you or something

Dim_121 · Answer

I was the same way with girls until I eventually got through the touch barrier with my female freinds. He is just not used to touching another person yet. A lot of guys get taught to not touch another person when their young in school so they still carry that notation that you should not touch someone else. You might try being the first to break the touch barrier. After you do seductively tell him see it is fine to touch me. He is into you but he is scared to touch you. It takes time and practice to get used to the idea that you are suppose to touch someone if you like them and if your freinds with them.

LaVilaine · Answer

He was raised to believe that a person's body belongs to them alone, so he won't assume that you want him to touch you. It's a very good thing.

There's also the possibility that he's a sub and he likes to be told exactly what to do.

Anonymous · Answer

he's into you and respects you, but guys are taught and conditioned to not touch a girl without her permission, so why dont you touch him and take his hand and place it where you want to be touched? that will help break the ice with a guy, plus reassuring a guy like that you want to be touched where ever all the time helps big time. dont be subtle that never works.

open_relationship · Answer

you know it's funny...

99% girls wants a man who respects her, listens to her and do everything with her permission...

you should be happy to get a man like that..

but you are thinking negative way... if he likes u or not! if he is afraid or not!

its not a crime to be shy... if he is shy then it your job to make him ready.. tease him, make him crazy to get you.. play with him..

TadCurious · Answer

With all the false rape allegations out there, and colleges and universities drawing up these ridiculous contract-like consent policies, this is where things have ended up.

matheus_mb · Answer

He respects you and he won't do anything that perhaps will make you uncomfortable. Just give him your permission if you want him to touch you.

ThisDudeHere · Answer

He probably is in to you but he's way too much in to this whole 'afirmitive consent' or whatever that shit was about.

goodmood · Answer

I think you learned dating through the internet. There are a lot of guys who are like that in real life. And no, guys are not spontaneous. Don't generalize.

AlwaysBelieving · Answer

From what I read by the comments, just give a blanket statement of "you're fine touching my arm / leg, , hugs, at any time, I'll let you know when it's too far. Problem solved in my opinion

chrisbigman · Answer

He probably wants to avoid a rape charge, which I don't blame him for that. Some girls freak out over the smallest things. He's probably into you. He just wants to be careful not to get arrested.

Josht13 · Answer

I imagine it would come across weird if he said "I will touch you without permission".

genericname85 · Answer

well cause society bombards us with rape bullshit stories from all sides so we rather have super sure consent than not xD

Jayded1 · Answer

This is what hyper-feminism brings us. Young guys afraid to do or say anything.

frozenhorizon · Answer

He's probably just not naturally good at reading body language, maybe slightly autistic.

Anonymous · Answer

He is probably trying to not accidentally rape you. Always a struggle for us men xD

Mrwoo99 · Answer

Blame feminism because there the ones promoting rape culture

front2back · Answer

Because many women flip the fuck out and call daddy if you so much as touch their thigh.

ButteredToast · Answer

Troll. But to answer your question its probably because all a guy has to do is look at a girl without her permission and it's rape.

Anonymous · Answer

welcome to the future- where men are pathetic and women will have way more responsibility.

He won't touch me without my permission?

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