My boyfriend recently started telling me I am annoying when I talk too much (even though I've talked the same amount our entire relationship) and now his reason I am annoying because I ask obvious questions. He's always enjoyed my bubbly personality, but now he keeps telling me I'm annoying. Our schedules recently changed and we only have time to hang out two nights a week, so it makes me sad and shut down when he's annoyed at me even after 5 days apart. Then he gets mad that he can't be annoyed at me without me getting upset. I'm a confident person, but it makes me self-conscious now. He says he still loves me, but doesn't ever try to change the things I bring up about him, so I'm not going to try and change my 'annoying' habit that has never annoyed anyone else to my knowledge. Is our relationship doomed? He says he can't put up with it for the next 60 years, but I think there are so many more annoying traits in people, if I ask too many questions, it should be bearable if he changes his outlook about it. I say it's indicative of deeper issues, but he says I am over exaggerating and being dramatic and won't talk about it. Is he just a self-centered jerk? He means a lot to me, but I know there are dudes out there that would appreciate me for all of me and not tell me to stop talking. I guess my main question was, is our relationship over or has he already semi-checked out? We've been dating about a year. Thank you.
My boyfriend tells me I'm annoying, is relationship doomed?
What Guys Said
Just talk less, ALL women need to talk less...
What Girls Said
This is my situation recently, although yours sounds a little worse. My boyfriend and I just moved in together, and I know I get on his nerves. I am a criminal justice student and have to learn about some pretty crazy gross and weird shit everyday... and I will admit, I tell him about all this stuff. He hates it, but my boyfriend is the type who shuts down, he would never say "you are annoying", but one night we argued about what his deal was till he finally said it. It has been eating at me. Anyway, what I have realized since that night is that the relationship is only doomed if you let it. People are naturally butt-hurt by criticism but you still have the option to correct whatever behavior annoys him. In my situation, I had to stop talking about the terrible shit I read everyday to him and find someone who doesn't mind hearing my horror stories. If you aren't willing to change, well just remember there are A LOT of men in the world and if it hurts you so much that you just can not get over it, then it probably isn't even worth fixing. And if he is a jerk enough to say he can't put up with it for 60 years, do you even want that in your life? Just seems like negative energy to me.