Why are guys so mean to me?

I notice when I talk to certain guys (who are known to be silly), they're mean to me. Not in a cruel, down-right insulting way, but in a joking way. There's this one guy who is in two of my classes who can be nice to me sometimes, but he's always teasing me about how I don't do my homework, how I laugh, what colleges I want to go to, what kind of car I drive, about seeing my face, crap like that. But, there were a few occasions where I didn't quite take it as a joke (I wasn't in the best mood those days).

Ok, that's one example. Another example I am curious about is a kid who I had German class with last year. He is rather a mystery. When I began hanging out with some friends in the main hall, where he also hung out, I noticed him looking at me a few times. I was curious about what was he looking at. I looked back and I didn't see any of his friends coming and later, I found out he was looking at me (I kind of like him). He looks at me in the halls, lunch, and when I'm in my car in the parking lot.

I asked a few friends that this kid and I share and apparently, a few little birdies told him that I liked him. Ever since it was told to him, that was when the facebook conversations began. Nearly all of them he started, with an exception of a few that I started. First, we argued about me liking him and here's the funny part: he told me that he had a girl, but in the same breath, he asked, "So you don't like me?"

Anyway, this continued when I sat near him at lunch. Whenever I sat anywhere near him and I'm either smiling, laughing, or getting up, he and a few of his friends would look at me. Most of the time, it was only him and his best friend. The best way to describe the expression on his face is with wonder, meaning as if he wants to ask me something or is curious about me.

So, I decided to make a pretty bold move and sat across from him at his table with his friends. Of course his friends were making dirty jokes and stuff and he was quiet (he's usually the loudest laugher). I noticed that when I lean on my drink, he also leans on his drink. After the first time I sat over there, he IMed me saying that I didn't talk much. I notice, he does say my name quite a bit to his best friend and when he's talking to me.

Anyway, one of the guys took a person's powerade and when the guy asked "where's my drink?" The drink was under the table, between me and my crush. My crush kicked the drink to me and said, "(My name) has it!"

There was one magical moment where we were looking opposite directions and then, our eyes met for three silent seconds. Then on facebook, he denies it.

He had removed me as a friend because of a stupid rumor one of his friends made. But he added me back after an incident that happened to me. (kinda long)

This guy's rather quiet around me, but he's always picking IM fights with me (nothing too ugly. more silly rather), like calling me weird, kook, and talks about himself a lot. But he's nice to me sometimes.

I can go on and on about it


Most Helpful Girl

  • In high school, that is how I a lot of guys like to flirt...by making fun of you. When I graduated, a lot of the guys that made fun of me the most admitted to their crush on me. Plus, making fun of a girl seems a lot easier than just trying to win them over with charming comments(something they haven't mastered...and might not ever master). Guys think this is cool because they can impress their friends by bragging about getting a rise out of girl by picking a fight with her. At the same time, they get a thrill out of having the power to do so and just like being around you because they think you are hot. All of this is a win win situation for them. The guy likes you, it is a classic example of it. When he makes fun of you, do it right back to him. Don't do it mean ways,just silly. Being able to take what he can dis out will when you props from him and his friends. Then, they will really start to think you are awesome. Trust me.

    • Thank you! :). That's what I had been thinking, but I can't exactly rely on myself sometimes.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Him leaning on his drink doesn't mean anything, me and my friend go eat at steak & shake and when I sip my drink he sips his and I sometimes catch myself sipping my drink right when he's about to sip his.

    When I'm at my the movies with my other friend sometimes we reach into the bag of popcorn at the same time.

    It doesn't mean anything, we're not gay, and a lot of times this happens because of the converstion, when you're eating and talking it's good to just take a bite when the other person does or sip your drink when the other person does so you're not talking with your mouth full and so you can have a conversation normally. Otherwise one person will say something and the other will still be chewing, or will be sipping and unable to answer.

  • Most of them will tease

  • You can expect that from guys.


What Girls Said 2

  • Guys tease like that. But if it's starting to really affect you negatively, you should probably work on a way of getting respect from them. It worked for me in high school by being my own self and playing hard to get. I had my areas of openness and my areas of reserve. If they pushed my buttons too far, they would never hear from me again!

    After that I wasn't an "easy" chick to get lol. It was a challenge for guys and they seemed to like it. I've worked more on it and found that balance between charming and not being afraid to tell em off when I have to. I get the guys I like and I'm happy :-)

    You gotta know where you stand, girl. Good luck!

  • honestly, these guys just sound immature. but some just joke around with you as a way of getting to know you. I would just start doing it right back to them!