Who are you? Really? I want to know.

[Anonymous]

I want to know what kind of people roam these here columns?

I was in an uncomfortable position today.. I had two options..

I want to know which of the two choices you would chosen and maybe a little

Of the reasonings behind your decision?

My mother recently found out she was very sick, if you don't have a parent use

Your partner, sibling ect.. I've put my life on hold to cater to he every whim, she's usually very active, and had to stop working. I'm either at work or with her now as the only way she can get out and about is with myself and I know her getting out of the house is the highlight of her day.. We had an argument today it got rather heated she was very unreasonable, angry and I felt totally unappreciated and angry.. We sat in the car boiling she said drop me home now! We had already planned to go out for lunch so I knew she was pissed even tho she was in the wrong.. Would you have

What would you have done? And why? Can you also tell me where your from? Just curious... :) answer anon if you want to as long as its honestly! :D

Thought stuff this taken her home to realize that she would have to be more appreciative Of the things you were doing for her, given her and yourself maybe a week to cool down..even tho you knew she would be house bound with out you.

B/ taken a deep breath, tried to calm the situation down and realized that she was only feeling frustrated because of the unexpected situation she had found herself in..would you have been understanding? Calmed her down taken her to lunch and made smile.

Updates

+1 y

You have restored my faith in humanity with all of the people who moan about there parents on here I was sure its was going to be 50/50 vote. You proved me wrong and I'm glad thanks :)

[alchemy12]

My mom's pretty mean in terms of how she acts outwardly. She's a bitter, resentful person and can get so vicious sometimes but inwardly she's been so gracious and generous to me and I owe her my life. I'm also in my 30s and have been a care taker for family--not for her yet, but I know how draining it gets.

I honestly think that even though I'd be mad as hell I'd swallow it because I'd know that I'd feel like absolute sh*t later if I just ditched her. I'd know in the back of my mind that it in the big picture, it was a temporary squabble, and that whatever disagreement we had was petty compared to the love I had for her. If I knew it would blow over I'd just take her to the restaurant and get on with things. There's certainly no way would I leave her for a week; even if I was mad and she hated my guts I'd come in to at least check on her and bring her food or whatever. Anyone who doesn't care for their ailing parents is a dog.

I'm sure it's very hard but that you're doing what you can for her, and that's all anyone can do. Hang in there!

P.S. I'm in the SF Bay Area, California :D

[ShesSoSilly]

Knowing how much she relied on me I would try my best to remain calm and continue the day. I think it would just be one of those moments where you need to pick your battles and put your feelings to the side. I think any family member can be frustrating, personalities clash and that's just what happens. (Not even just within family obviously).

If all of this was over something petty I would also try my best to just let her have her way. I know firsthand how some people dealing with life changing things, like being sick, are just angry in general and I happen to be the person there so I will sometimes take what isn't necessarily meant for me.

If it wasn't petty and something serious/wrong that I couldn't just get over, I would make sure someone else took care of her while I cooled down or even permanently if it was that serious. No matter what I wouldn't leave her without care.

[ShesSoSilly]

Thank you for best answer.

[Anonymous]

My mom had breast cancer about 10 years ago. It's crushingly difficult for someone to deal with some major illness like that and their emotions are going to constantly be frazzled in the early stages. They need emotional support then more than any other time in their life. If that means sucking it up and letting them vent at you, so be it. Go take your own frustrations out elsewhere, just don't dump it on them. They've got bigger things to deal with.

[martyfellow]

She's facing losing her independence, maybe permanently, and would make anyone irritable and often angry over small things.

She hates your having to cater to her. All her life, she's been catering to others, if she's like most mothers. For her, it's torture to have to depend on her children--or others--but especially her children.

I went through this with my dad. Try not to ever get angry with them, if you can help it.

[intol0ve]

I hate my mom. She's a bitch. But if she's sick I would definitely be there. I love her even though she didn't really support me for my dreams but she did give me everything I can ask for. I'm not spoied but anyway, she deserced to be given more than normal understandnent due to this sickness that has happened. Like. How would you feel. As much as I am angry. I would have said I'm sorry abd a bigger person. Although I never ecer say sorry to my mom same for her. She never apologies to me. So yeah. But in this caase. I would breathe and say sorry and make it up.take her shopping. I'm from NJ ?

[ArabianPwincess197]

I love my family my mum says somethings that I find hurtful sometimes when she's angry I just ignore and say to myself she's mum she can say anything she brought me up, gave birth to me, clothed me, buys me anything I want no matter how expensive I should appreciate her she's much idol

I work hard not because I want the praise because I want her to be proud of me

[Anonymous]

i vote Bim in kind of that situation but its not a health issue.

[ThatBritishLad]

She said to take her back, so I'd do exactly what she said. Her loss.

[danix]

it's your mum, duh.

respect her. get over it.

[Anonymous]

Definitely B.