Why are men opting out of relationships? its a whole trend im hearing about just looking for some perspectives on the topic?

Question

Guys and gals why do you think men are boycotting relationships? Are we really that complicated?

genuinlysensitive · Accepted Answer

The frustrations of relationships comes from the fact that in our culture women are always right (assumed so anyway), and women seem to enjoy playing bullshit mind games with men. For instance when a man cheats on a woman he is vilified as a cheating bastard, when a woman cheats, it the man is vilified for "driving her into the arms of another man." (happened to me multiple times). A women says a man sexually harassed him and the man is fired a meanwhile that same woman can sexually harass multiple men with no fear of retaliation whatsoever. And don't get me started on the inequality of divorce and custody law. Also, that attitude carries over into relationships themselves. For instance when a woman catches a man lying she gives him a much deserved speech about honesty in the relationship, when a man catches a woman lying, it is somehow his fault for being so uncaring and not picking up on the obvious signals she was lying.

And the bullshit mind games, I know many men who have become players or given up as you said and the number one complaint among all of them (despite what many women will tell you) has nothing to do with sex. Its that they hate the mind games women play. Most popular, Whats wrong babe? "nothing". Then no matter what we do many women pick a fight. If we call you on it we are yelled at because there is "nothing" wrong, even though we pick up on the non verbal communication that there is something wrong, which leads to a several hour long fight. If we trust you and ignore it sooner or later we get blown up at because we should have known that there was something wrong, which leads to a several hour long fight. And this comes with the hypocrisy, of the constant lectures of open and honest communications we get all the time.

Another example is when many women ACTUALLY want to lie to us they simply do not do any of the non verbal communications that indicate they are lying. Then we assume that they are telling the truth only

Crazyced · Accepted Answer

Other then legislation that seems to be favoring women, i think the big issue is that the raising of boys is nowadays entirely too feminized. They are virtually brainwashed into thinking that acting like a doormat will make them attractive to the opposite sex. And while it must be nice for girls to have guys at their beck and call for a while, it does nothing good for either sex in terms of lasting and fulfilling relationships.

Then you have guys reaching their 20s, baffled that the efforts they were told would pay off, didn't. And instead witnessed girls running to seemingly 'bad guys', complete opposite behavior they were told to expect. Here's the kicker though, you don't need to be a bad guy to be successful. But it does require to grow a spine and avoid certain things that are currently ingrained in boys.

Here's what's needed, give the job of raising boys back to men, experienced and successful men. Teach men what women actually responds positively to and you will have a much happier cohabitation from both sexes.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Relationships are high risk and all the trouble to meet people, make improvements to yourself, wade through bad experiences, etc is often pain in the ass.

Not that many people permanently opt out, though. Online forums are full of more introverted types who find it a little easier to spend extended time alone and we all can tend to abide forums like an online journal to vent anger and insecurity sometimes.

Sleevey · Answer

I don’t know if calling it a boycott is accurate but to fit the current issues it’s as good as any generalizations. I think it’s closer to acceptance of reality for the MGTOWS. Most active ones using social media to vent the injustice or even hatred of women. The venting comes across as bitter angry confused men but like an AA meeting it’s comes down to men telling thier stories and helping those that are in the same situation to relate and not feel alone. The MGTOW philosophy is men doing the math and determined the game is rigged and the only way to win is not to play. MRAs are more active to primary protest laws that remove them from thier child’s life. They are not anti women they are pro men.. Take a look at Cassy Jay TEDD X speech. So yes men are opting out, there just isn’t any incentive. And way to many risks. I’m a retired 25 year veteran and I lost more soldiers coming back from war and finding the house empty, the children gone and maxed Debt. The 45 t0 the frontal lobe is the last straw. Men are killing themselves 6 times that of women, 2 men at two different locations went to the front of family court, pored gasoline on the, selves and self immolated. That statement alone is horrific, but how destroyed you’d have be kill yourself that way. Me too has shown that men can be accused, fired and unemployable, tried by social media and sentenced without due process. The 2 % fake accusations by women is unequivocally bull shit. And studies by the department of justice found two sample cities had 37% and 43% self admitted to falsely accusing. There are way higher and some lower but the point is made, women falsely accuse men often presumably out of hatred and revenge. Even dating is hi risk, young women have surpassed you men in date violence. 70% of single spouse domestic violence is women hitting men, (aka Johnny Dep) and when there is two way physical abuse it falls to 50/50 with women more likely to initiate the violence and use a weapon. But if a man seeks help for his being beaten are laughed at, scorned, and they have now are to go since in my country there is 1 battered men’s and boys shelter for the whole country. If you go to a centre for help men will be given anger management pamphlets assuming he is the predator, men are forced to sit away from children on flights because it’s assumed were predators. Tha APA introduced a masculinity as a mental disorder, the list goes on. Hell ya we are opting out of relationships, western women are way to risky.

I’ve trained hundreds of men, and in that organization it is still required to ask for approval to get married (memo request). This is for security reasons and financial council. I asked every one if they were sure and to understand the possible risks. No a single guy said “ya I know she will finatially destroy me, take my kids and make me an indentured servant for 18+ years”. Nope they all say “she’s not like that, I trust her. 50 % will be wrong. We can’t even have a say if we want to be parents or not.

So yes, men are opting out and with good reason. The juice just isn’t worth the squeeze.

xychromosome · Answer

I am 39 years old (I know I sound like I'm 89 LOL) and have seen some changes. I have seen social norms change. I have seen cultures morph and relationships getting redefined. A big change is women becoming more assertive in what they want and don't want. Many women no longer fit into that mental image that men have about women (a bit coy, a bit submissive, flexible). Women are becoming more financially independent. But the change in men hasn't been as dramatic or noticeable. Of course some men have mellowed down... they have become less aggressive, more accommodating, more sensitive. So when you put these two trends together... you can see a pattern emerging. Men are finding it difficult to handle the new age woman - maybe they see her too demanding and believe me - we men hate confrontation and complications - we like to keep things simple. The new age woman makes it a little bit difficult for men to manage and handle and therefore the easy way out is to go for temporary relationships - its easy on the mind, its less stressful on the heart and its convenient financially as well (girlfriends and wives are high maintenance).

Anonymous · Answer

I would say it is because modern relationships are all about the man handing power over to the woman, without her handing any power over to the man. If a man even messes up one time, then he is viewed as some type of super villain, and everyone tells the woman she needs to dump him. This means that men end up walking on egg shells all the time. In some places if she physically attacks him, he will still be arrested based solely on the fact he is a man.

I don't see any hope of a reset button, unless we start to enforce gender roles on both genders again. At this point in society women are expecting so much out of a man, that he is already capable of fully taking care of himself. The man is making his own money, cleaning his own house, and cooking his own food. A man that independent won't have a need for a woman for more than sex. In fact the very idea of being independent is all about not needing anyone else. This means independent men are not looking for partners.

There are men that would value what some of these women have to offer, but they are not the types of men, women are interested in. What women fail to understand is her money and success at her career, will normally only interest less successful men, because these are the only men that actually need those traits in a partner. Once these men learn that these women only want a man that is "her equal" a lot of these men just give up on successful women.

Since the moment a guy enters into a relationship, the woman gains complete control over the man's sex life, it actually becomes a liability for the man. Meanwhile men can get sex pretty easily without a need for a relationship. Or at least the kind of man that women want can get sex easily. As for the guys that aren't good at getting laid, p*rn and sex toys are better than the constant torture of a relationship, and being forced to play step dad to the children of several different guys.

JZ909 · Answer

I think there are a lot of aspects at play here, but these are the most obvious ones to me:

1. Society is heavily bent against men right now and men are scared. A man who is accused of some sort of sexual misconduct is not given the benefit of the doubt, and while the legal system may allow a man to keep his freedom (if not proven guilty of course), he won't be allowed to keep much else (i. e. job, relationships, respect). The same is not true of a woman who falsely accuses a man of sexual misconduct, which makes the cost of doing so low, and makes the tactic an attractive power play for those without morals.

2. If a long-term relationship doesn't work out (and with modern society, generally they don't), men are likely going to be estranged from their children, but still bear the financial burden of caring for them, which will handicap everything in their lives and not bring them any of the joy of raising a family. From an economic cost vs. benefit standpoint, it's just not worth it.

3. Confusing mixed messages. Men are told that being powerful and domineering is sexy. They are also told it's sexist, disrespectful and wrong. Men are told that being caring and sensitive are positive characteristics. They are also told that men who exibit these characteristics are weak pushovers. With scenarios like this, men sometimes find relationships to basically be unwinable.
Personally, I've 90% given up on relationships. There are some women I've found who I've known for a long time so I can attest to their character, helping with issue #1, don't seem to want kids, or at least not soon, dealing with issue #2, and know what they want, dealing with issue #3. Unfortunately (unsurprisingly), those women are not single.

Applefan1 · Answer

Yes it really can be that complicated. I am a man that is fast thinking of opting out of any relationships and the reason why is because I am a nice, kind and caring guy and many NOT all girls repay me for being nice, kind and caring by treating me like I am the scum of the earth. I am 32 now and never had a girlfriend. I know I am not hot, that I am short for a guy and I don't have abs but I am a good guy but it feels like that means nothing. I feel like good guys are hated. I am sick of being treated like I am the scum of the earth. It is unfair and I do not deserve to have the girls that treat me like that treating me like that. This is why I am starting to boycott relationships. I don't have the energy for relationships anymore and I have a lot of trust problems now because of those girls that have treated me like scum. I feel relationships are just a joke and the idea of marriage makes me feel sick. Maybe I will think differently in the future possibly but who knows.

Anonymous · Answer

Men are opting out of relationships because women have have become too hard/untrustworthy/unloyal/etc.

Briffault's Law:

"The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place. — Robert Briffault"

Due to the evolved higher sexual demand of men, women are in much shorter supply than men. As such, they "determine all conditions" of any relationship, meeting, etc., so long as they are meeting with their opposite sex "equal".

This rule doesn't work when pairing a woman with a man of much higher value than her (like Brad Pitt or Ryan Gosling).

Since by definition, the population of females is "equal" in quality to the population of males, any society-wide sexual or marital dysfunction should be due to changes in female behavior, and not male behavior.

And that's exactly what we see when we look at who usually initiates divorce, who is usually sought after, who usually feels "unsatisfied" in a relationship, etc. (it's usually women)

JustSomeDude40 · Answer

I am focusing on me now. To tell you the truth, I feel like a loser that can't get a woman as well... But mind you, between the ages of 17 and 37 I banged roughly 65 women many times. Thats not 65 times... I didn't count how many times, just the women so sex was flowing in my time. I don't know what standard you guys have as to how many you have been with but right now, I am very glad I didn't marry one or get one pregnant though I am proud of my accomplishments. I still have the sex drive of a 17 year old me. I get lonely but then again I haven't been out of the house in a while.
It sounds selfish but these women are basically there for the taking. I am not a "stud", rich and have nothing going for me yet could get a woman if I want. Guys, good luck finding one to marry because the east coast women I have slept with ARE NOT MARRIAGE MATERIAL. I have always took marriage as something that I would do but now, I am at peace with being a bachelor. If I get old and wrinkly and I know I can't get one, I'll just move to vegas.

Jersey1 · Answer

My son is 26 and he does not want to deal with it. He doesn't want kids and until recently he wouldn't consider marriage, and that is still an "if". Divorce laws are hard on the guy as they lose so much including the kids, but, have to pay for them for so many years while some other guy lives in his house with his wife and kids... It sucks. And women are the ones who file most divorces, so it seems to be a dumb move for a guy. I have been pushing him and so I think he is reconsidering it. He is 6'1", 165lbs, great job, master's degree, friggin Mercedes so I think he will be sought after but he is not hugely interested due to the significamt downsides.

Corsair427 · Answer

From my point of view its the girls who dont want a relationship. I've dated girls and have been led on by all of them. They would do all of the things with me that a girlfriend should,... however they would not want to ever call it that. Then turn around and say were just friends now after they had their fun. I had always been the sweet romantic minded guy and believed in true love and romance... not any more. I've been seriously fucked up by girls. Im 25 and never had a girlfriend for this reason, none wanted a relationship. So I've kinda lost faith in the whole thing.

kairon156 · Answer

for mgtow videos look up karen straughan YouTube channel. https://www.youtube.com/user/girlwriteswhat
she talks about all kinds of male isues. I've only seen a few of her videos some are a bit extreme but they tend to bring up good points of view many people don't think of.

a small part of the blame is the Hard Core feminists the ones who are against men having their own way and no longer care about equal gender rights.

Anonymous · Answer

No offense, but no matter how girls want guys to look at it, it's really not in a guy's best interest to pursue relationships anymore. Sure, a relationship can be great... if it's with the right girl. And the thing is (prepared for incoming hate), the majority of girls in my opinion simply aren't worth getting involved with, beyond a casual relationship. And until laws are rewritten, in the interest of genuine gender equality, the only way a guy in his right mind would want to wifey a girl is if she really is an awesome, genuinely good girl (very rare). This site, alone, shows just how expendable most guys are to most girls, when it comes to relationships. More & more guys are just done with it. Sadly, those numbers seem to increase. It is what it is now, & I really can't blame guys for doing what they feel they need to.

Tdieseler · Answer

I highly doubt we are boycotting it. We are just tired of the intensity girls put into some really simple stuff. Also we like to be free, and many women tend to cling. We want relationships as much as girls do, but there are some parts of it that are not so serious that are taken WAAAAY to seriously by women. There are lots of other reasons too. Someone asked "Is it getter harder to date"... it kind of is.

Grisbosque · Answer

two reasons men are boycotting relationships and dropping out of the system.

1. society's deck of cards is stacked against men. there are zero benifits in us partaking.

2. modern women are neurotic, and living with them is impossible.

they look nice, but their personality sucks,
and nothing is ever their fault etc..

they also run their mouths incessantly and think they are perfumed princess pigs...

its just not working for men, we dont like you as people anymore, and we have better things to do with our lives than take constant verbal abuse so you can feel assertive...

personally I have decided to not do ANY more relationships unless they are on MY terms...

my way, or the high way, take it or leave it babe...

its not about you anymore.

its about me allowing us..

front2back · Answer

Well, I'm not "opting out" of relationships, I'm just not actively pursuing one. I don't have anything to really offer at the moment and a relationship would overly complicate my life at the moment. I also have a lot of things I need to improve on before I could handle being with a girl again, mainly communication, empathy, and kindness.

Hermes-Paris · Answer

Its weird how things have changed. The girls I grew up with in Maryland were so cool and fun. Now when I am back in the States I just cannot imagine dating or worse marriage up there. Seems like you are needing to take your lawyer along with you if you even dare ask someone out. Dating in Latin America is great. I love the fun attitudes of the people there. I've been living there for years. It's been several decades now since I even went on a date in the US. I tried a couple of times but it never even got to the date stage. As for marriage I just don't see the point of it anymore for me.

evenlift · Answer

I think one of the differences about today's generation of young people (and, yes, I do observe that this is especially true about men, though I think 'boycott' is the wrong word) is that they don't put relationships at the centre of their lives. And it's great that they don't. You don't earn self-esteem from your relationships. You earn self-esteem from leading a productive, flourishing life. Relationships are merely a way of celebrating your self-esteem, as is leisure.

I think people don't know what to believe anymore. They've been rescued from the God/family/tradition swamp, and they're looking for answers.

I do agree with what Crazyced says about masculinity. I think what has happened is that self-sacrifice has been stripped of its masculine and traditionalist facade, and self-sacrifice has been exposed, especially to men, for the life-destroying mentality that it is. But, most people understand that only implicitly. So, they feel lost and angry.

Anonymous · Answer

I gave up on the idea of marriage. Sex and dating is still kind of fun, but that's losing its luster, I'm not really enjoying it anymore, and I'm sure as hell not going to screw myself by getting married.

I guess that means I really won't have women in my life once I stop dating.

passinby · Answer

Relationship has lost definition. Women have become independent beyond relationships and the men are just starting to catch up with that concept/reality. You obviously didn’t get the memo given this question. While I still enjoy a ons or short term flings, I am an adamant believer in singlehood. I got fixed. As far as I am concerned, the only interesting attribute about the modern woman is sex. And, I hope they will/have evolve/d to that aspect of equality so that is all they see in me.

Phoenix_the_singer · Answer

I think it's pretty simple. All humans are pretty complicated on the surface, but most don't want to put in the time and effort to study the psychology and actually be romantic. The effect our society has had on us guys has left us increasingly emotionally unavailable. We still seek human contact and well... sexual contact because of a basic instinct, but many don't want relationships for fear of being rejected, not being good enough, being unable to connect and be there for their partner, and some simply fear commitment or are worried that they won't be satisfied with settling. We always talk about how complicated women are, but us men are complicated beasts too. Realistically, we, as in both men and women, just need to get better at reaching out to each other and expressing our feelings and concerns, making compromises, and coming up with solutions. We make life so much harder than it has to be.

kheserthorpe · Answer

Are you talking about guys who are sticking to hook ups or guys who are just retiring to their basements with  p*rn  and have no interest in women?

Why are men opting out of relationships? its a whole trend im hearing about just looking for some perspectives on the topic?

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Why are men opting out of relationships? its a whole trend im hearing about just looking for some perspectives on the topic?

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