I went through the same thing. All of my friends had boyfriends in high school, and I just didn't get it. I liked guys, obviously, but it was like the second they were getting too serious about me, I'd get scared and back away. I was like that over and over again and I probably came off like a tease, but I genuinely had crushes on these guys.
Personally, I think it just takes meeting the right person and then finally getting to the stage in your life where you actually feel ready for a relationship. I had my first boyfriend when I turned 18 and it's been almost two years and we're still together. I knew him my whole life and I always had a little crush on him, but it's almost like I knew subconsciously that if I ever got to know him that I'd fall in love with him, so I never talked to him despite having all of the same friends. I went through my first year of college and I kind of just had enough of the party scene and at that exact moment, he asked me on our first date. I was so surprised how he was the only guy that I'd never felt scared about getting serious with, in fact, thinking about a future with him only made me excited and happy.
Don't worry about how you're feeling :). Spend your youth focused on other things, like school, health, friendships, and hobbies. Save relationships for when you feel completely ready for them.
I feel the exact same way. I'm 19 and have never been in a relationship, let alone a flirtationship of the sort with a guy. I dont know anything, and i'm just scared. The fact that you have to express yourself more, take time to open yourself and learn about the other and then get involved with them and everything else... it seems so over whelming. But it also seems exciting. Dating is trial and error, and it just seems a bit exhausting. I wouldn't know for sure hahah. But im also scared.
This is completely normal. You're young, you wanna have fun, meet people, do crazy stuff, it's OK. You don't wanna feel trapped. Good relatiship will still make you feel free, but a relatioship does change many things, and in a way makes you adapt and compromise if you wanna be with someone. So it's okay to wanna be single, and it's okay to be afraid of commiting, just remember, at some point, you have to destroy your fears.
I have just celebrated my two year anniversary with my lady, and it was excellent. However, I still think about being single and how great it could be. It's not that I want to sleep around, but even though my relationship is going well I still feel like I'd be better off single. Sometimes I damn near try to sabotage a great day because I don't want our break up to be harder, but our break up never comes. What I'm trying to say is that we, and many othersothers, may have some issue with commitment, but try to look at it as a new experience, even if it turns ass up, you have plenty of life left to try again or choose not to..
It happens to all of us at some point whether we admit it or not. Though i started going through that same situation during college and sometimes still to this day still do even as a military guy. And it could be for many reasons either you're afraid of getting hurt, you dont know what you're getting into, you can't find an appropriate companion, you let other peoples opinions on who you date or want to date influent you, etc. But hang in there girl you will meet that one person that will never let you feel this fear ever again.
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What specifically do you find scary? Kissing? Sex? Feeling obligated to / controlled by someone else? Is your mother in a relationship? Is it good for her? If not, it's understandable that you would be afraid of finding yourself in the same situation. You may be less afraid if you can talk to some people in happy relationships.
It's natural for some people to feel this way, especially if you haven't been in a relationship before. Movies give many people false expectations when it comes to romance, and when we hear the negative events that happen in real life relationships it can make a person second guess on what they really want and if they are ready. a relationship should come naturally and comfortable to you. Never force a relationship, otherwise it will be bad. Hope this helped! :)
YES.
Don't worry about it. It's actually a good thing to have. I had my first bf at 17 and was disgusted by the kissing. I was able to break up after 5 months because I was afraid to hurt him, and the poor man suffered. I got great scores in high school, got a scholarship for university and a graduate degree, am almost 30, happy, working hard and enjoying my job immensely, and have the most amazing boyfriend ever.
Wait and the time you wait will be invested in your future. Time FLIES. Truly.
I was like that as a teenager, my insecurities made me very shy and timid and even though i had guys liking me and asking me out, i didn't feel comfortable enough until i was 22 and i saw this gorgeous guy who i admired for a while. Then he liked me after having class together and started dating. I think maybe you're afraid to get close to someone, and it can be really scary but eventually you'll feel when it's the right time and go for it
Could relate to other issues going on. What exactly about being in a relationship scares you? Opening yourself up to someone? Being vulnerable? Past issues with guys? or maybe just nervous about new things..
Nothing to be terrified of. Humans have been doing them for thousands of years. You'd probably fear you first time having sex too because you're inexperienced with intimacy and you feel as if you wouldn't know how to properly react in a relationship.
I have anxiety and I find that whenever I start to like a guy and he shows signs of liking me back, my anxiety kicks in. It is the weirdest thing because I think about being in a relationship quite often and I like the idea of it, but it seems as though when the opportunity is presented to me, I back out. It frustrates me and I wish I knew what to do about the anxiety. I guess I'm just not ready, but I wish I was ahaha
I was dating this guy from Canada and after a couple weeks I made up an excuse not to date him. For me the thought of letting someone in to my life scares me. Because I've been hurt so many times. But I think yours Is just a phase just wait a couple years,
Maybe it's because you haven't built up your defences against the world yet. You should not date until you are certain that being around others will not injure you beyond repair.
I am a bit the same way. I'd love to have a girlfriend, but just thinking about it, me actually having a girlfriend, makes me super anxious. I haven't been on a date, or kissed, or had sex, so it's probably just "fear" of the unknown.
Simply put... your not ready! If it frightens you that much then don't. Just bc your friends are in a relationship does not mean you have to be.
Go your own pace!
Maybe you're afraid of being vulnerable to someone and having that person hurt you. I know that's what I fear.
commitment is what scares you, not the relationship itself.
You can't get over heart break and you're maybe not overly into sex.
Maybe because you are note ready yet. You haven't did the right one I wanted to be in relationships before I was 16 but at the same time no I wasn't are but after 16 that insecurity and fear disappeared.
Have you been in fucked up relationships before? They do affect your thinking about relationships. Though one day a perfect guy would come and show why it didn't work out with anybody else. So just be patient maybe;)
You are scared of being committed to someone. You are afraid what they could do to you. It's a trust issue.
You're no the only one that felt this way. I felt this way and still kind of am feelin this way cause my current girlfriend is my first girlfriend no girlfriend before her
Try to think of reasons why it's good to be in one and not every guy is bad in a relationship get that out of mind... Just got to find the best one
Scares me too. I know a woman will fuck me over, but I also know that I won't be able to stop myself...
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