"Why do guys go to strip clubs, while in relationships?" (or at all?)
Guys go to strip clubs mostly because men have an instinctual drive for sexual variation - meaning: to bang lots of DIFFERENT women. That's the best reproductive strategy to ensure his genes live on, AND because generally only the most attractive/healthy/powerful/smart/charismatic men actually achieve this (banging lots of women), it means that it improves humans as a whole over time. Weak/sick/less attractive men are less likely to pass on their genes.
Yes, it's 2015, but those instincts took millions of years to develop, and aren't going to change or go away in a couple of decades, just because we have modern society now. We like to think we are advanced creatures, but so much of our behavior is still based on our fundamental need to survive and reproduce.
This also answers the question "why isn't one woman enough?" As a reproductive strategy, if one woman had a genetic flaw, most or even all of her children might be, say, diabetic, or autistic, or susceptible to a particular disease that wipes those children out. But if a man had children from many, DIFFERENT women (meaning, women of significantly different genetic makeup), then chances are far greater that at least some of his children would survive - and would further reinforce that instinct for sexual variation.
Now, obviously, not all guys go to strip clubs - porn has kind of taken 1st Place in satisfying a man's need for variation - but they can be fun to go to with a group of guys, and there are still times when there is significant peer pressure to do those things (a friend had a boss who literally did most of his business out of a strip club, and he was a building contractor!)
If your guy goes once in a blue moon to have a laugh, then tell him to have fun but to remember that you are waiting at home for him - and otherwise don't let it bother you.
If your guy goes to strip clubs regularly, then you could have a problem - if nothing else, simply that he's spending a lot of money that he probably can't afford - but perhaps on some deluded idea that he's going to get a stripper to fall for him. I've seen guys in strip clubs give a girl $1000+ over a night, hoping to get a date/get laid/etc., and 99.9% of the time, he's just fooling himself - the girl just wants his money, and will ignore him as soon as he's broke.
Mostly, though, strip clubs are just a harmless show to separate suckers from their cash.
Men why do you go to strip clubs while they're single?
Are they expecting to go back home with a stripper? No. Or, I guess there are some idiots out there who think those girls walk in there every night looking to meet guys instead of just making some money to pay their bills.
Now, sure, there is always that one girl in there that's looking to meet some desperate top 1%-er who she can manipulate and wrap around her finger. The chances of that actually happening, however (for her), are very rare. Not only does she start off with a 1% chance... discounted for the probability that such a guy happens to walk into THAT club THAT night and pick HER... but also discounted for the very fucking slim chance that she is the ONLY WOMAN IN THE WORLD that's attractive and has paid any sort of attention to him... that's just delusional
So, for all intensive purposes, strippers are just there to make money and go home to pay their bills and get on with life... and any guy who thinks any differently is an idiot.
So, with that said, "why" would a guy go into a strip club, single or while in a relationship?
Sometimes, it's as simple as because another guy wanted to go... and that guy is your friend and you just wanted to bond with him and be there as part of the group of guys. There's a defining moment in a male-male (friendship) relationship, where the guys want to do something (anything, not just strip clubs), and one guys is like, "I'm sorry guys... I can't... because of the Misses." That's when the other guys chant in unison... "Pussywhipped" and proceed to making whip noises, or asking, "Hey, what dropped on the floor? Oh, those were his balls. HEY! Has anyone seen his balls? They're like these microscopic tic-tac sized almost invisible-looking things."
So, that's like the #1 reason why most guys go... simply because some other guy in the group wants to go.
Why else would a guy want to go?
Maybe he's delusional about why strippers are at strip clubs, and he thinks that there is actual sex in the champagne room, or that some stripper in there will fall in love with him because he's such a nice guy.
Maybe he's not delusional, but he just wants to enjoy the eye-candy. In which case, he's just an idiot, because he could do that for free online, and quickly sort through better-looking girls within seconds without having to pay an entry fee or move. So, I don't get it, but clearly he doesn't know what he really wants or he's confused.
My boyfriend has been a few times, but before we were dating. (He told me about a couple of different times that his friend got drugged and his money was stolen by a stripper)
I used to be really against the idea of him going again... But now, I can kind of understand it a little bit. I kind of look at it the same way as a guy in a relationship looking at porn. From girlfriend perspective, it seems weird - "he has me, and I have sex with him, why does he still want to look at other women?" Well... I think girls look at hot guys in the same way. If I see a naked Liam Hemsworth picture - absolutely I'll look at it. He's gorgeous! Do I love my boyfriend any less? No. Do I suddenly compare his attractiveness to that of Liam H? Not at all. It's just an admiration for beautiful people.
I think mens' desires are just typically a little more explicit... But probably just as innocent. Those girls at strip clubs aren't sleeping with anyone in there. If they are, it's probably a dude with a 7 figure bank account.
As long as it's not a regular thing, it's probably harmless. Can be a hard pill to swallow if you're a more traditional kind of gal, but just try to frame it in a different perspective to get a better understanding.
I am 150% not comfortable with my boyfriend gg to a strip club. didn't really dicuss this with him until he told me what happened. My boyfriend did tell me about it before. He's friend wanted to go to a strip club bc he's single and bored. But my boyfriend rejected the idea bc he thinks its disrespectful to me. I thank him and told him how much I appreciate him doing that.
One of the reasons they go Is bc of friends. Or they all just wanna have fun and laugh. They're looking at all different bodies of a woman. Just admiring the body.
Why do guys go to strip clubs, while in relationships?
Likely the desire for sexual variety.
Women are you comfortable with your mate going to a strip club?
Yes as it gives me a nice rationalization to shut him up if he complains about me going to nightclubs and grinding on guys. If he can pay a sexual venue to look at naked gals then I can dance with other guys.
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I am 47. I have never been to a strip club. Honestly it has more to do with not wanting to waste money. Why pay a cover charge and pay too much for beer just to see topless women that you can't touch? If they were completely nude, like in Canada, maybe it would be different. But I am only 30 min from Windsor and have never been compelled to drive over to Chetah's.
But why? Because men are very visual. I really don't understand why women don't get that. I also cannot understand why women think that just because your in a relationship, suddenly the man will not think other women are attractive? If we didn't think women were attractive we would have never found You right? all the other women in the world don't suddenly turn ugly when you start dating someone. So why do women get upset when men look? as long as we don't touch? I assume all women look and it never bothered me even a little bit. Women need to grasp that just because a guy looks at another woman he is NOT thinking "I want her more then my woman" or "She is more beautiful then my woman" (Even if it is true) or "I would leave my woman right now if she would take me". NO. We are just thinking "nice tits, or ass, or just NICE". Jealousy is a horrible thing in a relationship. I would have no issue with my SO going to a male strip club. as long as she comes home and takes out her frustrations on me
Many many many valid reasons for guys going to strip clubs.
Yes, there are the boys club business relationships that are built there, but there are also other reasons as well.
Fundamentally speaking, men and women have very different ideals for a good relationship, and more often than not, women tend to have things their way. In these cases, there's a lot of emotions that men build up inside that they can't let out, and strip clubs are perfect for this. For example, if a man's wife complains too much about things, he can go to a strip club, have a beautiful woman sit on his lap for an hour and tell him how handsome he is and how much to deserves a little time for himself. When we find ourselves in yet another irrational fight with our wives and gfs, we can go to a stripper, have her bring me a drink and listen to our point of view. Sometimes, we've just got a lot on our minds, and we'd like some female companionship but without having to listen to her drama.
Sure, deep down we know all this is just an illusion, but men have emotional needs that many women in relationships are routinely neglecting, and when we can't get this at home, eventually, we'll get it from somewhere.
I don't. At least not while in a relationship. Its not that i don't enjoy it, but its usually something that would make a partner uncomfortable, so its just something i avoid doing. Same thing with porn. So long as she is trying her best to satisfy me on her own, i have no need for the other things.
But i expect her to make sacrifices in return. Such as: not going to parties or clubbing without me along, not having any one on one time with guy friends (if she is witj a group its ok), etc.
One word: compromise
My wife asked me that question when we were first married, I took her out one afternoon to a bar I went to with co workers and had her sit a few stools away.
As women I was aquented with started flirting and hitting one me, I could see the wife getting upset. We left and went to a strip bar, again I had her sit a few stools away. As a girl finished her dance set, she would come flirting looking for tips or try to give a lap dance. After telling a few dancers I was not tipping, word got around and I was left alone to enjoy my drink in peace.
On the way home I asked my wife, which did she prefer I go to to have a couple of drinks. The regular bar where I was flirted with and hit on, or the strip club where when I let it be known that I was not tipping I was left alone in peace to enjoy my drink.
Anyone care to guess, which option she chose.
Co-habitation is the downfall of many relationships. Over time you loss the sense of wonder and mystery about your spouse. That you once enjoyed.
while you co-habitat you slowly get used to how each other does things. Which can slowly make things seem more and more boring or less interesting.
while you co-habitat you become less attracted to your spouse. At least in a sexual manner as time goes on. Which typically leads to less physical and mental attraction.
well you co-habitat all the little things start to bug you about your spouse. And you have no real place of your own anymore to relax and be alone to unwind.
Why not?
I went to a strip club for the first time with my boyfriend, coming back from my birthday dinner. If you don't trust your boyfriend to go to a strip club and remain faithful or are so insecure that you feel like that's crossing the line, I think there are more serious underlying issues than just whether or not to permit him to visit one.
Hmmm... I can't answer this question since I am not a guy but I can give you a woman's perspective. Important thing is to not touch! This summer I ended up going to to the strip club with my crush, his brother, and his brother's friend. At first, he hesitated because I was there and he didn't want me to feel uncomfortable (which honestly I felt uncomfortable at first). My crush paid plenty attention to me whilst at the club. lol Some stripper was trying to cross the line with him but he told her to back off. When we got back to my crush's house, he got his own private show and everything! lol ;) Just remember that you get to come home to or go home with a woman who can do a lot more.
I don't get it either.
Personally, if my boyfriend went to one during a bachelor party or something I'd be like OK whatever, NBD.. but I would not be OK with him wanting to go just for the heck of it. That's dumb and gross.
Thankfully, my boyfriend really isn't into going skeevy places and doing skeevy stuff lol
I have never thought of it. Hmmm. I don't think I would like it. I am not his keeper. He can go but I would rather he didn't tell me about it. I see it in the same light as porn and checking out other girls. It is gonna happen. It isn't that serious because he isn't cheating. But I would feel like I have to compete with the strippers for his admiration if I knew. So he can go but I would rather not know.
I did and my girlfriend had no issues has long as There was no contact but I did it only once a year at most and it was with army buddies after coming home from tours
For us it was just a place for guys to chill other than a bar amd have a few beers. we barely even looked up, it was mostly just background noise.. but ever so often it was entertaining to look up and see some women
But its just that sometimes, nothing more
Same answer as women going to the Chippendales and absolutely lose their minds while a relationship. We all (men & Women) like looking at beautiful people no matter how much we try to hide.
I wouldn't be caught dead in a strip club by the way. Not my thing.
I don't like strip clubs and never have no intentions to change
so if i had a girlfriend she would have no worry.
I wouldn't want to go to a strip club at all, whether I'm in a relationship or not. The idea just does not appeal to me.
Because it's fun. People fail to realise that just because i can love and appreciate my girls body, doesn't mean that when I go to a strip club and admire those other bodies, that I think less of my girl. we are not coin machines where if you take out, we are less off. You can admire and appreciate many people.
Then you should tell him that. Me? As I've said before, I don't care where he gets his appetite, as long as he comes home for dinner.
I don't know, I think maybe it makes them feel better for a change or something like that. I don't think all men do that. Yes logically speaking they shouldn't be going, you're right.
there are couples who are more open with their sexual activities and life and other couples who are closed off to it and only include themselves. now if you mix group 1 and 2 together, that's where you are at right now.
I'm not clingy. You want to go to a strip club? I won't beg you not to or try to control you. But I'm not staying in the relationship, either. 👋
i have better things to spend my time and money on lol!
never been to a strip club, never will, i think they are very gross! YUCK!
I agree, if you're in a relationship, you just don't do that. Maybe you're hanging with the wrong crowd? But if he has no shame in going to it while he's still in a relationship with you, he obviously doesn't care about you enough.
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