Is it my fault my girlfriend lost her job?

[gusgus2211]

So this Friday, I went out with my girlfriend, my best friend, and her friend. Long story short she got very drunk, and made a fool of herself and me. He have had problems lately and she decided to air it to the whole bar while my best friend was there. This has happened mulitple times, and I had had it. I told her we were done. And that I want her to move out. It is my name on the lease, she is not on it.

Well, she had to work the next day and we still had not made up. She skipped work even though last minute I told her to still go and we would talk about it. She thought she was moving in with her mom farther away, and she doesn't have a car so she would have to find a new job. Well she didn't end up going to work, and the next day she didn't go either, She also didn't call them either time. But that morning I called to get her back. I really love her, I just was furious about how she acts when she is drunk, and she promised to stop drinking and get help.

Well she just assumed that she didn't have the job anymore, and didn't make any real attempt to talk to anyone. Well now 3 days later her boss calls her cause she left a message. I told her to tell her the truth, that I kicked her out and she didn't know what to do. Well, the manager didn't accept that, said she could understand if she was sick, but she counted them as 3 no call no shows, and hung up on her while she was trying to explain herself.

I feel terrible. She really liked this job, and I was kind of the reason she lost it. Although if she could have controlled her drinking none of this would have ever happened. I also asked her repeatedly to just go in to work still and explain yourself. She didn't and now doesn't have the job anymore.

I can't help but feel guilty, and now she feels like everything has gone to shit and wants to leave. Was I in the wrong here?

[bomba78]

it's def not your fault that she lost the job.

It was her own decision to not show up for work without even calling in. One day, ok, maybe a manager can accept an excuse for that, but 3 days? no notice at all?
that is just something you don't do when you want to keep a job.

Her life is dictated by her own bad decisions. Her drinking and immature behavior is her problem, not yours. Not going to work because of some fight with the boyfriend is highly unprofessional and unreliable.

Maybe she "wanted" to loose the job, so you'd feel bad for throwing her out. Maybe she just wants to make you feel guitly (which is working)

Don't feel bad. she brought this on herself.

[Poppykate]

She should have called work and told them that she wasn't coming in. That's her responsibility!. It sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do!. Are you sure you really want to be with this girl? She certainly has her problems, and needs to get her act together. I don't see her doing this when she is with you, as she will always have you as a backup. ( and thus no real consequences). Maybe living back at home with her mother might be the wake up call she needs.

[muliebrity]

Nope, not wrong. What you did has nothing to do with why she was fired. How she handled her own situation got her fired. Smart people who care about their jobs would make it a point to redeem themselves. It seems with the combination of drinking and other little hints, she lacks responsibility. Yep, doesn't matter how hard her situation is, her poor planning prior before got her where she is. This is an answer about being not being fair but being realistic..

[hellionthesage]

No, it was her fault she lost the job not you. You did not tell her to not go to work, you did not tell her not to call in to work, ergo it was not your fault (even if you did tell her these things it would still be her fault for listening to you, after all she is an adult). I think you should break up with her, she obviously has no self control no sense of responsibility and is more then willing to blame you for everything. I think you should probably move on.

[Tarvold]

Two things:

1.) Don't take her back. Your life will be miserable with her in it.

2.) She fucked up. If people keep bailing her out of these shitty situations she gets herself in, she'll never learn to stand on her own two feet.

[erandal]

Totally her fault for not calling. It is common courtesy to let you employer know if you are going to be late let lone if you cannot come in at all. If she really did like that job then she would have done something to keep it but instead she showed a complete lack of responsibility.

[MaskedSanity]

If something crappy happened in my life and I'd just not come in without calling, it's MY fault, not whatever circumstances upset me.

I understand you feel bad, but it was her dumbass decision and she needs to deal with it.

She was the one that behaved like an idiot when drunk and she was the one that has taken her job for granted.

She needs to grow the fuck up and deal with her shortcomings like a bloody adult.

[Cmasterson]

Her wrongs are not your fault, just because she made her bed doesn't mean you have to clean up the mess. It's not your fault at all

[shiller]

She's a grownup. A responsibility is to make sure you're fit for work and to notify the company in the event of a possible absence. Whatever the right or wrongs between you two, her going to work is her responsibility.

[Opethgirl09]

Not really. Its her fault for not calling. But you sound like you were an ass too, but I honestly think its her fault for not calling. What kind of idiot does that?

[Intraluminal]

No. Drunks ALWAYS try to place the blame on others. That's what they do.

[gusgus2211]

She actually thinks it is mostly her fault. The only reason I feel guilty is she was trying to make up, but I was being stubborn. Then the next day wanted her back, but she had already missed 2 days by then. But she admits it wouldn't have happened if she could control her drinking.

I just feel like a piece of shit cause it was close to the house, and paid her well. She was just finishing training when all of this happened.

[Intraluminal]

Well, the fact that she accepted responsibility is a good sign. Get her some help. Now here's my advice. Have your girlfriend go in to see her supervisor at a time when business tends to be slow. Tell her to eat humble pie, and point out that they invested in her training and shouldn't throw that money away. Have her explain that she thought she was losing you and going to be homeless. Have her offer to work for free for a week. It'll probably work. Good luck.

[redeyemindtricks]

This ^^ is good advice.

It's also eerily similar to what I posted in my opinion at this thread www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1889662-my-boyfriend-dumped-me-in-front-of-all-our-freinds-because-i-kissed

Are you actually me? LOL

[Intraluminal]

@redeyemindtricks

I just checked. I'm not you 😁

Seriously, I've read several of your posts and they were very good. I kinda disagree on the kissing is cheating meme, but kids take *everything* too seriously. Are you the woman who said she had unconventional desires starting when she was 11? I always meant to ask if you could expand on that - if that was you.

[redeyemindtricks]

That was me, yeah.

Unconventional is the wrong word. More like totally conventional, but times 15,205,612,389 or some such factor.

You can pm me, if you want to ask something specific about that, sure.

Dude, in my little world, kissing is WAY more intimate than fucking. Not even close. And I'm far from being the only woman who feels that way.

[Intraluminal]

@redeyemindtricks
I love kissing too, and i agree its very intimate. Yeah, unconventional was as close as I was willing to go given that I wasn't sure i was addressing the right person. Thank you for allowing me to pm you, I will have to really think about what I wanted to ask. My ex was very submissive and even though I had always thought of myself as dominant it still freaked me out at the time. I'm over that freakout but the relationship died, so my questions will really touch more on the evolution of submission.

[Mesonfielde]

It was her own decision not to call and not to go in to work, even though you explicitly told her to. It's her own responsibility at that point.

[selmo93]

No you wernt. She made the choice not to call. And her mothers would still have a phone.

[jakeofalltrades]

she is the reason she lost it not you. she should have called

[Anonymous]

You are the definition of an enabler. Grow a pair of balls and move on.

[gusgus2211]

No, I just have sympathy for people. I was not completely right for kicking her out. You can go fuck yourself.

[KawaiiPie67]

She is totally responsible.

[Blueeyes81]

That's all on her not you.