I love him, but something is missing, what is it?

[typewords]

So, I'm really lost now. I felt this twice so far and I just ignore it and continue my life with him and what I have. However, I feel every time I ignore what I really what, (idk) I lose pieces of myself. I don't know what I want . I love him , and we enjoy each others company, but I feel like giving it break. I don't want a break, like, I love you but I just won't be around with you when you don' want me. What I rather prefer is , we "break up" but were still open for each other, however, we can date other people. This is not friends with benefits. I want him around, not out of my life. But I want him to be ok if I can be around others guys. I feel as if I have to break up with him just so I know if I really want this. This as in being, single and just wait to find someone else. Or do I really enjoy him and our love for each other. WE have been dating for a year and 3 months now. I'm tired of this I'm only a freshman, and I want to enjoy the rest of my high school years not only with him but with friends. Which he can be friends with too. However, I think I'm just brain wash to him, I can't think o f a day with out me knowing he is no longer there. We did some bad things we aren't supposed to do in our age, but we were stupid, and we both were just so in love that we did stuff. We both have respect for each other so we both know none of us will tell anyone at school or who ever we know what we did. But I love him so much, but I fee like I just want to feel free he makes me free, but free of waiting for love. Now since I'm to in love I feel like I want to get out it because I miss being single. I never get to hang with my girlfriends because of him. He would say just go with your friends today if you want, but I feel bad. SO i just hang with him instead. I love him with all my heart, But I feel like something is missing from me. Is it that I need/want to become single to find it. Or am I just lost and no one known that answer?

Help please! :(

[overthetop67]

While you may feel lost, I think asking this is at least the first step towards being found.

Reading what you've written, I can feel your confusion and sadness; You like him but have no idea what you want, or so it seems.

I doubt you need to break up with him in the harsh I-don't-want-to-see-him-anymore, but you mention a few times that you think breaking up with will help you to gain clarity for yourself and on the situation. Perhaps communicate this to him, something like "Hey, I really like you (like, like-like), but I'm kinda confused about a lot of stuff right now, and I think we need a break; Like, some time apart to maybe work some stuff out."

It is entirely possible that some inner personal reflection would be good to help you find yourself, or gain clarity on life in general. A relationship does not complete you, you are already complete. Try meditation, or even just some quiet time somewhere; A walk or sitting somewhere peaceful can help. Activities, hobbies, listening to music, or expressing yourself in creatively may also aid in the self-centering process.

We can chat if you'd like some more help.

[typewords]

Omg, thanks for the advise. I really like it tank you so much. but we tried the break thing like 3 times already. We both start to miss each other after a day or two. But see.. I wanna, not miss, so I can have fun, and be myelf. Well, I am my self when I am with him, but you know. I just want to get that chip of my shoulder, &just fly. Out relationship is what's making me fly on an airplane instead of a rocket ship. I want to be more free. higher than where I am now...chat as in AIM?