Hanging out alone with opposite sex friends when in a relationship... ok or not?

[Anonymous]

I get jealous at the thought of my boyfriend hanging out one on one with girls without my being present. And if he was hanging out in a group where girls were present, I would expect to included in the hang out. I completely understand that my boyfriend needs guy time without me and that's totally healthy and something I encourage... but I don't like the idea of him being with other women without me and don't understand why he'd need to unless it were to flirt etc.

[Eternal_Flame]

Personally I wouldn't hang out with male friends alone , I'd find that disrespectful towards my SO.

If I did though , and he told me he felt uncomfortable about it then I'd respect his feelings and no longer hang out on my own with a male friend. I'd also in lnvolve him and take him along with me.

It's not so much a trust issue on his part , it's a case of not crossing boundaries within a relationship and respect for my boyfriends feelings. My boyfriends feelings would be paramount.

I believe in compromising , making sacrifices for each other and taking each other's feelings into consideration. These 3 things are essential for a healthy long-term relationship. Without them the relationship would become toxic and eventually fail

[btbc92]

This is up to you and your boyfriend. Not up to us to decide. It's always okay for people of the opposite sex to hang out as friends. However, if you're feeling jealous that is, because you're not addressing your issue with your boyfriend, so that way he can respect you. Though he is not married to you, he can do whatever he wants but at what expense of the relationship? That is the question both of you need to discuss together. But if you have your suspicions, then ask him. He is entitled to privacy with his female friends as well, as long as they do not cross the line.

[Anonymous]

I would not be jealous if he hangs out with girls that he knows for years and are his usual friend group. He sees them as friends. They are his friends. And only friends.

I would only be jealous if he hangs out with a girl he just met. If he does not know the girl why does he try to get to know her better? It is like a date and yes in that case I would expect to be invited too if he does go.

[Halfbloodprincess23]

It would make me uncomfortable as well. However, I had guy friends I would hang out with solo when I had a boyfriend who were strictly friends. So it's kind of hard. I think you should trust him a bit if they are good friends, but I would definitely want to know who the girl was. If I didn't know her at all, I would feel some type of way about it.

[MrOracle]

It's fine if you are NORMALLY included in the hang-out, but occasionally can't make it. It is NOT okay if you are routinely excluded.

It's not so much "would he cheat or wouldn't he?" - that really doesn't matter. What matters is that it's RUDE to do otherwise, and obviously your feelings are hurt and it's making you feel insecure - and in a REASONABLE way.

He wouldn't want you hanging out with a bunch of dudes he's never met, for the same reason, so he needs to reevaluate his behavior.

[Asker]

yeah that's how I feel... if it was something where I was invited but just couldn't make it, then I certainly wouldn't expect him not to go just because I couldn't. But if I wasn't invited, I would have a problem with it.

[matchrestore]

I invite my wife most of the time if she's available, but we have rather different schedules so it doesn't work out all of the time. Some times I want to just grab a beer with one of my female friends, but my wife knows I'm with them and is okay with it.

[matchrestore]

I'm perfectly fine with it, as is my wife. We both have good friends that are the opposite sex. We also trust each other and are secure in our relationship. My wife has even stayed on one of her guy friend's couches for a week when traveling without me, and I've done similar. Friends come in both genders, and asking your boyfriend to stop hanging out with them is limiting his friendships.

[jemjem2017]

trust is important in a relationship. if you trust you will have no doubts, as long that girl knew his limitation and she is just a friend period no benefits im cool with that, i have a guy friend he is very close with me, his girlfriend is very cool that we hang out, cause he is just like a brother to me thats it period

[kilowatt04]

Ok if the boyfriend/girlfriend simply just doesn't happen to be present at the time. Probably not ok if they are specifically excluded. In other words, being in a relationship shouldn't mean you can no longer hang out one-on-one with friends as you did before. Definitely a lot of people are the jealous type, and expect a relationship to now mean "no opposite-sex friends for you!" and that's really messed up if you think about it.

[MysticalWitch]

I think it’s more acceptable for the opposite gender to hangout as a group than one on one, even if your SO was the only guy. A lot of flirting and crossing the line tends to happen when it’s one on one because a lot of people feel more comfortable doing so without other people around. Sometimes relationships need a break with one person or the other hanging out with friends. It’s completely normal.

For example, it would be hard to trust your boyfriend to go to the movies alone with another girl because they could have strong feelings for each other. However, if it was with a group of girls or a group of guys and girls, it shouldn’t be a big deal.

[Ersacol28]

No is not bad you need space too the way I see it is my friends where there before I met my SO and will be there after him so he need to have a chill pill and suck it in cause I will not stop having friend just cause he has a tantrum

[Cmasterson]

I don't understand the whole one on one thing even if nothing is happening its just out of respect for your partner. You're not the only one who thinks this way, I'm totally okay with guy time and friendSSSS time.

[matchrestore]

I guess it comes with a certain amount of trust. When I spend time one on one with a girl my wife knows about it and knows the girl. Usually it's grabbing a beer after work while she's busy or otherwise unavailable otherwise she'd be there herself.

[Cmasterson]

@matchrestore I agree but if its someone I've never met before no way in hell.

[truthbeknown]

I agree 100%. Total conflict of interest and potential for anything to happen. No legit reason to do this without you.

[JustCallMeLeon]

I totally understand how you feel. I could feel the same way. It would bother me. Maybe because i dont believe a guy can ever be friends with a girl and the whole thing not being even 1% sexual.
My girl and i share the same opinion.

[rjroy3]

It's fine depending on the friend, but there are some general boundaries that need to be followed.

[Jennmiller]

It's fine. As long as I don't do anything or try something. And no flirting. But honestly I think it comes down to your partner. If you're partner wouldn't like it than don't do it.

[admles]

It's perfectly okay, and I would break up with any girl who tried to tell me I couldn't hang with female friends.

[Anonymous]

Ok if you feel absolutely no intimacy with that person

[Sabretooth]

it's fine... unless advances are made-i'd have to know the guy, first.

[Anonymous]

Only mature adults can handle this. Trust and honesty must be solidly in place.

[cupidkisses]

i think it is not problem

[Anonymous]

Not cool in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Thats fine with me