Boyfriend and His Friend Sleep Together In The Same Bed...?

Okay. So once a week my boyfriend of three years has his best friend come over. To clear any confusion, his best friend is a guy. His friend stays over and sleeps with him on his bed. My boyfriend has a very open minded sexuality and has even said that he has been curious about the other sex in the past.

What is your take on this? Personally I'm a little freaked out. I don't think two "straight" grown men should be nesting together. Period.

Guys, do you think this behavior is strange. Would you or have you shared a bed with your male companions?

Girls, Would you be just as irked or weary as I am?

Oh, and while mentioning to him that it makes me uncomfortable he got really defensive. Usually people get defensive when they have some guilt. The other option is he might have just felt threatened that I called him out on his masculinity. Any thoughts?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, that's a little weird. I'd be like " Dude, floor or bed". Does your boyfriend have a couch or anything else for him to sleep on? It's definitely something I wouldn't do. I MAYBE could understand it if your guy and his friend were younger, but even at that its a little strange. Have you asked him about it? Whatever answer he'd have better be good. It better be a "last resort". Me personally, I'd take the floor any day (pillow and blanket required). His comments about being curious and him being grown makes me concerned to say the least. I hope it doesn't happen too often.

    • Well his room is on a floor seperate to the living room. At first it was because they were up late and fell asleep playing video games, but it became a weekly habit. Both of them are 21. What do you think?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah you are right on that (especially on the second thought). He probably feels like your marching on his territory and its not your business. You said it makes you feel uncomfortable and that's understandable. Kudos to you for even mentioning it to him, you did the right thing and now its up to him to decide about his manhood. P.S.- I wouldn't mention it again to soon at all, let him deal with the issue. I would say talk about the issue with his friend and see what he tells you. If he gets really defensive too, I'd be very concerned.

  • I can't think of any guys who sleep in the same bed, no matter how close of friends they are. That's very strange. I would be concerned as well, especially for our culture. Was he born and raised in the United States? The only possible explanation I could see is if he was from another culture. But him admitting that he is/was open to sex with men would definitely raise alarms.

    • He's Puerto Rican, born and raised in NYC

What Girls Said 2

  • Maybe they're just incredibly close. They probably have a long history.

    I wouldn't be irked by it. If you're paranoid that they're doing stuff, you could always stay up and eavesdrop I guess. But meh, I would just leave them alone. Unless it somehow starts to threaten your relationship, try not to worry about it too much.

  • The way I see it is if a girl can share a bed with her best girlfriend which I have done many times,Why can't a guy. I'm not one for double standards. And I believe everyone is what I hear "bi-curious". Maybe he does wonder what it would be like to be with a guy Girls often kiss other girls or think about it. Sharing the same bed doesn't mean its going to happen or that he will cheat on you with his best friend. Maybe you can joke about two it and see what his body language says. But I personally wouldn't be mad or worried.