Guys, would you date a woman 12 years older than you? Why or why not?

My boyfriend is 12 years younger than I am. We have been together over 2 years and are getting serious. He told me he needs to work on and get over his concern about what his friends and family will think of our age difference when we meet so we can build a life together.

Would you be able to do this? I appreciate your insight!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Depends on if I was attracted to her, and if I had gotten to know her somewhat before it moved to dating. I wouldn't approach a woman ten years older than me with dating intentions, but I could easily see myself wanting to go out with a woman I had gotten to know who happened to be ten years older.


What Guys Said 23

  • Are you tempted to spank him when he gets out of line?

    If you're inclined to think that way, the age difference is too much. Otherwise, you're OK..From YOUR side.

    But for him, it will ALWAYS be more difficult..his family and friends will be more 'on' him about that issue than yours will be, in most cases, and let's face it, he's so young, and not used to facing up to peer pressure as you probably are.

    Will he be able to handle that pressure as your relationship gets more serious? I don't know him, of course, but the odds are quite high that he WILL NOT be able to handle it.

    And let's be honest, you will soon start looking 'old' to him...

    • No, I am not tempted to spank him.

      I don't fixate on our age difference, and it makes me sad that he is worried about his friends and families' reaction to our relationship. My family has known about us for two years and are happy that we are happy together.

      Why do you think I will start looking old to him?

    • Naturally his family disapproves-unfortunately a profound double standard since they would never object if you were 12 years younger

  • I wouldnt...Im happy for you though. Yet sad at the same time. You could stay on this train but its gonna crash in 15-20 years..

    • Can you explain why you think it is going to crash? Thanks!

    • Actually I take that back. I really don't have enough experience in age gap matters to be throwing comments like that around and I should not have spoken, sorry.

  • I probably wouldn't personally, myself. But he clearly can and would and is doing so.

  • Hell yeah. I've come across some hot goddam 30 something year olds.

  • Been there, done that, but it was more of a FWB thing for both of us. If what his friends and family think of his dating choices means more to him than your feelings for each other he needs to grow up.

  • If you look very good, then most probably, he wants you for your good looks. Purely physical..

    If you're very rich and he is poor, then it could be a reason too. :D

    If he is an terrorist, then he might be doing this to plant explosives in your house or may be on you. :D and this 12 years don't make a difference.

    If he doesn't get the girls of his age normally and somehow luckily has hooked up with you, then he sees you as the last chance available on earth for him.. hence, 12 years are getting ignored.

    Finally, if you're confirmed that the above stuffs are not the case with your 12 years younger boyfriend, then its all LOVE BABIE! :)

  • i have done it before. date but never marry

    • Why would you not marry an older woman?

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    • Ok, so you want a younger wife to ensure offspring, regardless of whether you fall in love with someone?

    • yes of course, despite what people say sometimes love is not enough

  • I think there are many beautiful women older than 40, but I can understand his concern because no matter what, someone is going to say something about the age difference, unless of course you guys choose to lie, or not disclose that information (I mean, really it's your business anyway). I personally would not mind and would love to date an older woman (assuming she is interested) its just thinking about, could it really work out long term.

    • What kinds of comments/concerns would his friends and family have?

      I don't lie about my age, I am comfortable with my age and it generally blows people away. Most people think I'm in my 20's. My daughters and I are often mistaken as sisters.

  • If you both love each other, what do you care what others think. Enjoy every moment. The couple is the whole world in itself.

    • I agree, but my boyfriend is working on getting over his concerns before I meet his friends and family. He is quiet and shy and doesn't want to answer questions about our age difference. I am just curious if anyone else shares his concerns. Thanks!

    • True love is very rare and there are no rules.

  • I don't think I could do it that would make her 70 a guys got to draw a line somewhere...

    • There are a lot of 58 year old guys who look older than my 85 year old your comment kind of throws me.

  • Certainly! That would make her 40, which means she'd still be young enough to have kids (one of my goals in life is to be a dad).

  • My ex-wife is 15 years older than me. I do not see anything wrong with age. The only thing I can think that would make a difference if generation gaps.

  • I prefer women older than me...but I won't go over 7 years. It's too awkward then

    • What makes it awkward for you? Thanks!

  • Yes. Been there, done that. I a currently married to a girl 8+ years my senior!

  • YES OFFCOURSE! In true love 10 or 12 years older or younger than the partner doesn't matter. You can date.

  • Im dating a woman 12yrs older than me. I must say that im having the time of my life. It's less drama since she's been there done that (im a no drama please, kinda guy). At first yes it felt a bit awkward (teacher to student) kinda feeling but we both knew the chemistry was there. We both opened up to each other and we are having the time of our lives. She tells me that I make her fell alive again and loved. I tell her she's made me feel what being loved by a true woman feels like. Yes of course it's not always going be a perfect relationship but I know that when we cross that rugged path it won't be hard to overcome it with adult and sibil understanding. In conclusion dating an older woman is the best dating choice I've ever made.

  • My girlfriend is 23 years older than me. You don't have anything to worry about. lol

  • I would have when younger, and did, though not such a wide gap.

    Sadly I agree with martyfellow.

    You're probably looking great now. He's 30, you're 42,but I bet you look younger?

    The problem is 10 years, 15 years from now. He'll be 40-45, if he's in good shape, he'll still have 30 year old women hitting on him.

    And you'll be mid-late 50's.

    That's when it gets difficult.

  • I wouldn't be able to. I'd prefer having someone with in about 5 years of me and 12 years is too much wether it's older or younger

  • yea I don't see why not...

  • I would definitely date a woman 12 years older than me, and I'm only 23. I prefer older women over girls my age anyway.


What Girls Said 2

  • No because that would make her 30, that seems like way too big of an age gap for me. Whilst there are many older women who are great, I'd rather stick to someone within my own generation as we would relate much better.

  • I'm 12 years older than my boyfriend of 8 years. We recently moved in together, and have been planning on having our 1st child soon before I turn 40 in a couple years. We are perfect and happy in each others company. We have both come to realize that our lives aren't as happy without each other. Age is not an issue at all, however it was in the first few years together. Once we passed that bridge, its not viewed in a negative manner.

  • If any of my brothers did that, I'd be very skeptical and I wouldn't be comfortable with it at all. It would be awkward having them date someone who is the same age as our mother.

    • I am really glad you answered! I've never had a "sister" perspective before. I'm not his mother's age...she is in her late 50's. Can you explain why you would be skeptical and uncomfortable? THANK YOU! :)

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    • Would your brother's happiness make a difference in your opinion? And would it help if he talked with you about the situation before the introduction? Thank you so much!

    • Idk depends. I'd still think it was weird af