Lies told in relationships... to end them

Anonymous
Lies told in relationships... to end them

15. "I have issues."

People use this excuse all the time, but they leave off two key words "...with you". People who want to be with you, will put up with you, people who don't, simply won't.

14. "I need space."

Again, much like the first one, they leave off two important words "...from you". This is a death sentence to a relationship. Don't try to cling on to a dead relationship. They're done, with you.

13. "I don't have time."

There are 24 hours in a day, seven days in a week, and 365 days in a year. There's no such thing as "I don't have time". If they're saying this to you, they're telling you, I don't want to spend my time with you any more, for whatever reason they're hiding.

12. "You deserve better."

We wouldn't be with you, if we wanted someone else. We like you, even if you're flawed. It's what makes us human. People who say this, most likely lack confidence, and are trying to show they aren't. No confidence, isn't attractive.

11. "ghosting/silence."

It;s not literally telling a lie, but, not saying anything about how you feel, is a FORM of telling a lie. At least have the courage to say something, ANYTHING, even if it IS a verbal lie.

Lies told in relationships... to end them

10. "I need to focus on me."

People who think they want to be single again, give this line, then, when they see how miserable single life really is, they've suddenly "made the focus back on their ex"

9. "I am not ready for something serious."

The fear of not being hurt, runs their life. They are emotionally immature, and need to learn that opening up is OK.

8. "There is no one else."

Denial is not just a river in Egypt. Own up to it!

7. "I know i will regret this."

If you were going to regret it, you wouldn't do it. We should be regretting the things we don't do, rather than the things we do, do.

6. "Our lives are moving in different directions."

Unless you've decided you're not going to marry, or have kids, and your partner wants one and or the other, then this is just an excuse to say "I don't want to work on this type of relationship".

5. "I don't want to hurt you."

This is saying that they think you will hurt them, so, before they do it to you, they get out before it can happen.

Lies told in relationships... to end them

4. "Who ever winds up with you, is so lucky."

If they're "so lucky", why are you letting them go in the first place. This is just another excuse to get out before you yourself get hurt.

3. "It's not the right time."

Some people get married and have kids late in life, while other have them young. Point is, there's always a right time..why put a "time" on love?

2. "I like you too much."

If you liked them so much, why are you letting them go? It's simply illogical.

1. "It's not you, it's me."

To avoid insulting you, they're taking the blame, when really, there's something wrong with you. People who want to be with you, won't care about your flaws.

Lies told in relationships... to end them
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Most Helpful Girl

  • btbc92
    I have to disagree with a lot of this and sadly I find it that many of people are very immature just as their partners, so that see all of this [except the ghosting] as an issue. Look at the positive side instead of always negative. I feel people are getting too butthurt, emotional and is psychologically not mature enough to handle these rejections. Maybe if sex wasn't in the picture things would move a lot smoothly. But people don't want to hear that.

    15. A lot of people do, and this is not a lie. Would you want to be with a person who has tons of issues and use them as an emotional rebound on you? Blame you for all of their problems and 'issues'? I don't think you would if they are genuine people. After all, why date a liar? If you can't learn to accept that fact, then be prepared for a violent argument with belittling, hatred and possibly gone physical abuse. If you already think of this as a lie, then maybe both of you have issues. Serious past issues.

    14. What is so bad about needing space? So unless they are out to cheat on you, it's immature to think like this. Healthy mature couples understand's the meaning of space. Too many people sadly don't. If that person feels smothered by you, would you want them to tell you with the adding of "from you"? Some can handle brutal honesty like I can. And many can't. Again, space is a good thing. They are not obligated to cater to everything you want them to do. They should feel the right to do so willingly or else is not love. So unless they are married to you, no law says they have to.

    13. That depend's. This is not always a lie. Some can make time, others can't. And some will or won't. If they won't make time for you: LET. THEM. GO. It's not a lie if they told you. It's a lie when they didn't, and kept standing you up.

    12. Are you kidding me? This is not a lie at all if they really do feel that way. Thank God that my close friend's ex said this to her because she wouldn't of have found her now husband! While her ex was messing around with 5 other girls after he broke up with her! All one night stands! No, he was right. She DID deserve better. And she got it now with her husband who treated her with honor and respect. She didn't believe him at first and felt she already had it with him because she was still IN LOVE with him. But had he not let her go, she would have been worse off. But her getting married this year was proof. Stop chasing people who are no good for you.
    Is this still revelant?
    • btbc92

      10. That is a good thing. Some don't know what they want in the beginning, and now they do. Shouldn't it be a good thing that they told you now? As a good partner, you should want what is best for them. And I am talking about in dating relationships, ONLY.

      9. True to a degree. It's not always fear. Sometimes it's far more serious than that. It's better to get to the bottom of this line if you really care before you make judgments.

      8. This I can agree with.

      7. Is iffy. Because not everybody can foresee implications ahead of time. It doesn't help that people just say 'go for it', when that person is unsure, but then blame them when they already jumped into something they may not shouldn't have done in the first place. This is a major mistake that can take a serious toll on everyone around them. Especially when it involves sex.

      6. Okay, well then be prepared to tell them bye bye. You have to move on one way or another. This is why yo don't get emotionally attached to them so quickly

    • btbc92

      GUARD YOUR HEART & MIND!

      5. How is that a lie, again? If they feel that and believe it, then it's possible. Some can't always believe that negatively. But others are prone to hurt people because they may have a very long history of doing so unintentionally. Again, look at the neutral and positive aspects of it before judgment. Especially if they have the traits that hurt's other personality types they are drawn to. Like bluntness, cold and calculated, more judgmental than others, not too affectionate, etc. Learn their love languages and see if it's compatible with you.

      4. And this will bring me back to #12 regarding my friend. She wasn't lucky, she was blessed to meet her husband. But she was so focused on her ex, it held her back from living her life right by herself, God, family, and her friends.

      3. Some things AREN'T in the right time. Love has 0 to do with it. What you're talking about is infatuation or else that person was pretending with you. Love is also a responsibility.

    • btbc92

      2. To answer your plural question, it's because of fear of lack of control of their desires! It's far more illogical to not have self-discipline and self-control over your urges and you have other responsibilities and things to do. You can become their distraction. Sadly yes, romantic love is a distraction. And it's worse when you can't be responsible for your decisions. If you focus on simply that and not what if it brings about war, problems and animosity with your love ones. Are you making the right choices? To not be in concern of those things is irresponsible and selfish. Think of others first and how your choices may affect them and yourself.

      1. Again, it depends. Because not many people are brave enough to admit they have issues like #15. Some are too much of a coward to let that go. " People who want to be with you, won't care about your flaws." Wrong. People who want to be with you, do CARE about your flaws no matter how you want to look at it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • ArrowheadSW
    LOL Not all of those are that bad. I mean at least some of those are like breaking up easy... On the other hand, the worst break up excuses that I have heard from friends are 1) My friend's girlfriend said she was breaking up with him because there was a certain rock concert that they could have gone to and he didn't take her. I told him to let it go if she is that shallow... LOL... And 2) A lady I know, her boyfriend said he had to break up with her because he is in sales and if his clients found out that she is still friends with her ex-husband, they would think it was weird. (I don't even know what to say about that one...)
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

139
  • ThisDudeHere
    I don't think this matters much - so long as they successfully ended the relationship without dragging it out. Better an incomplete truth than nothing at all.
    • Anonymous

      so you condone, lying?

    • What I condone is not staying miserable. Lying isn't bad so long as the intentions are not malicious. If she avoided directly telling you that she has issues with you and instead opted to just say that she has issues, chances are she just wanted to avoid drama and let you off easily. Nothing inherently bad with that.

  • MrOwens
    #11 all I have to say is. F*** you to the woman that led me on for 2 f****** years ago and ghosted the relationship. Thanks for being a coward. I hope you're trying to put on your makeup in the mirror and crash into a ditch.
  • Unit1
    Numbers I agree with: 15, 12, 11, 10, 5, 3 and 2

    Heavily disagreeing with some of the rest especially 1.
    "It's not you, it's me"
    Indeed, it's them. They have an issue so they cannot keep up with a relationship. Simple as that. Let them go and find someone else, who will.
    • You have MUCH to learn.

      They're just being kind to you when they say "it's not you, it's me". It almost certainly has at least something to do with you, or at least something you've said.

    • Unit1

      @BruceJender I tend to not overthink it. (;

      And yes, I have much to learn, however not in this area.

  • RJMusickid
    "It's not you, it's me" can absolutely be a legitimate response. As in, there's nothing truly wrong with you, but I as a person don't want this.

    Just depends on how someone means it. I've heard it used both falsely and correctly.
  • ElissaDido
    I feel like this is about me xD That's sooo me lol!
    But for me these thoughts are usually legit
  • BrighteyedAsh
    I can concur with all of these. They're excuses, not reasons.
  • Nojudge
    Excuses after excuses meaning he has no interest in you... Screw him!
  • ihateheroicleishin
    I love you but I'm not in love with you. But I care for you deeply and I love you.
  • miamigirl1970
    Great job, it seems today your # 1 and # 11 are hot buttons. Here are MY TAKES written on those, and you are right, why can't people just be direct, and honest. Yes honesty sucks, but I would rather hear it, get over it, and then move on, instead of wonder forever:

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a32302-ghosting-psychological-abandonment-the-hurt-that-lack-of-courage

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a32982-it-s-not-you-it-s-me-truth-or-an-excuse
  • Kiran04
    These are definitely all bullshit. It'd be nice if people would just say what they mean. You aren't saving anyone's feelings by lying, only patronizing them.
    • Anonymous

      obviously

  • ASEXY
    I don't see anything wrong with any of the statements here except for 2 and 7. I don't know maybe it's just me.
  • kendott
    "If it's meant to be, we'll find our way back to each other" mhhhmmm
  • RicanEyes
    I love it good job you cut out the BS and got straight to the point.
  • Noxifer626
    Who are you to judge the reasons people split apart?
  • Blonde401
    It's not you it's me. Makes me want to throw up.
  • bruce3
    good one
  • Adigelunar
    wel done
  • sweetheaven
    this post is what i needed bless this !!1
  • MissSakura
    well done
  • Anonymous
    12, if no confidence isn't attractive, they know it and are breaking up exactly for that reason.
    So why is it wrong?
    • Anonymous

      Nobody wants someone who's always doubting themselves, because noone wants to be around people who are downers ALL the time

    • Anonymous

      Then it's okay because it's not a lie, right?

    • Anonymous

      What's not a lie?

    • Show All
  • Anonymous
    13 for me is actually true. I've had relationships that didn't go anywhere just because of my work schedule. I work six days a weeks and shift work. I would do everything I could to make sure we could spend time together when I am on day shift and the weekends, but they would get angry with me for working so much. I've never been a dumper though, so I haven't used that excuse. It's usually them who tells me that I don't have the time for them, especially with my afternoon shift. I didn't blame them though. They were fine with when I was days, but every two weeks we switch shifts for two weeks at a time I'd be on afternoons. So I was only able to spend time with them Saturdays before work and at night and on Sundays for those two weeks.
  • Anonymous
    Sometimes. Not always. Sometimes, you do really have to let somebody go for their own good.
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