I recently got dumped by a guy who said to me he can't afford to have a relationship at this cross road of his life. And I deserve more commitment which he can't give. He has been a very good date.. treated me very nicely and he invested a lot of time on me. So I can't help but wonder is this merely an excuse (I got played. He actually lost interest) or he is honest?
Most Helpful Guy
I'd like to offer a different opinion about this.
Its indeed true that some guys (and women too) feel that sometimes a relationship may be more of a distraction than an asset, when they're focusing on their career. I too feel the same way. That's the reason I haven't dated anyone in the past 4 years, after my previous relationship ended. I'm almost 28 now, but I'm not in a hurry to date because like your ex said, I'm not in a position to invest even the minimum time and dedication required to sustain a relationship.
But you see, what this guy did was wrong because he was already dating you when he supposedly felt that he wasn't ready for a relationship. Human emotions aren't something anyone should play with. If he wanted to focus on his career and he felt that a relationship would be a distraction, he should have thought of that BEFORE he started dating you. Even if he felt that later, he should have told you about his concern, and left the final decision to you about staying or leaving (because even if he indeed wants to focus on his career, it would affect YOU more than him). The fact that he didn't do this, makes it fairly certain that he just wasn't interested in you, and used this 'career' excuse to get out of the relationship without hurting you emotionally.0
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Most Helpful Girl
I'm exactly in the same situation as yours. He didn't date anyone for so long after the breakup with his first love in 2012. We met and dated in 2016 and our relationship lasted over a year. Since we started dating he said he didn't want a serious one but he couldn't resist himself to date me and yeah we had a lot of fun. He's a good man but he cared me less as time went on as we have to focus more on career. He wanted me to leave him and find someone with commitment which he couldn't give at the moment. But these words hurt me and I didn't find one coz I only love him. But eventually he told me that he no longer wants to date me as some arguments broke out. He would always say he doesn't want to quarrel with me as it is time-consuming for him. But he really likes me and he wanna marry me if I could wait for him for a couple of years. However he doesn't believe I could wait that long and now it's been about 3 weeks since we broke up. He doesn't contact me till now. What about you in your case? Did he contact you after breakup?0