Why are things awkward between me and my ex? We used to be so close.

[Anonymous]

There a happiness but an awkwardness that comes with being around my ex. I think he feels it too, because once he starts being comfortable and chatting with me he immediately tries to ignore me and seem uninterested.

we used to be so close and most of the time we have like a 5 sec conv. but he talks with random people so much more than me. So why is he uncomfortable to be with me?

or what is your interpretation of his behavior?

[GoodManDave]

Well, I still see my ex on occasion, and while we're trying to be friends, I honestly don't know how if it will work.

She can be a really cool person to hang out with, but when we dated, it was not healthy.

Last time we hung out, she told me she wanted to get back together. Now this creates a very awkward situation because I know that it would not work. We just don't have enough of the same things that we're looking for, so I don't see the point.

BUT I do care about her and love her (in a friend way), so I hate the idea of cutting off all communication with her. She was a great person (and still is) when we aren't dating.

I also hate how most girls will make it awkward with me after I ask them out. They will avoid me like the plague. If I dare to say hello from across the hall, I'm ignored or sneered at. I hate the idea of avoiding someone just because they claim to be interested. I don't want to treat her like girls have treated me, because I know how horrible it feels. But then I don't want to give her any false hope.

On the other hand, I recognize that if I got a new girlfriend (doubtful), hanging out with the ex seems suspicious, and requires a LOT of trust on the new girlfriend's part.

So honestly, I run the gambit between wanting to spend time with her, and not knowing if she's going to get weird on me if I don't return possible affections. I don't want the new girlfriend to meet her, as the former might lie about the past relationship in order to manipulate a breakup.

So sometimes we'll have this connection that is wonderful. We'll be nice to each other. But I don't want to be too nice...

I let a girl cuddle with me the other day. It was as friends, nothing more. So if I let girls cuddle with me, do I allow that or do I stay strictly hands off? I'll give her a hug, but now that I know she's claiming to have an interest, I don't know if I should allow a hug or not. I don't want to lead her on... so it's hard figuring out what is ok, and what isn't. My lad friends will kiss me on the cheeck from time to time... she's a friend, but it would be awkward if she did it, but I'm not sure if I'd be overreacting to say something if she tried it.

Sometimes it can be really awkward.

[themastaplan]

you guys both obviously have a connection still...and feeling for one another...its weird because neither of you want to make it uncomfortable and get too close, making it uncomfortable...therefore you are both making it uncomfortable because you are trying not to make it uncomfortable...lol do you understand? its tough being friends with an ex esp if its a recent break up, the only time I feel you should be friends with your ex is 1) you can picture yourself at a drive in move with your ex and his new girl and you and your new guy...youre sitting in teh back and they start kissing - this shouldnt phase you which means you can be friends - if it does, you can't at the moment 2) you're trying to prove you're more mature than you used to be, show that youve changed things that may have caused a break up, prooving you still care and want to be with them eventually if they can ever trust you again 3) you both are still in love but want to see if its for real and you're seeing other people but still communicating...im not sure of your situation exactly but it seems there is a small tension because neither ofyou want to be uncomfortable and you both ahve forgotten what you were like before you dated - try being that way but keep the "friends" line distinct and make sure its known...its hard to not be all close and lovely dovey as you used to be and what feels natural to you when around that person...id say give it some more time, you both are still grieving the break up it seems...not sure how much I helped but I gave my 2 cents...

[krrishtiano]

If you were the one who initiated the break, then he's only trying hard to respect your feelings. We all need to work a little hard not get close with someone we were close to. Its such a hard thing to totally break away from anyone with whom we shared a lot. I guess with time, you guys will become good friends since you know each other that well.