I slept with someone else while on a break but I regret it?

Question

Hi guys, so basically I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago because I felt like we wasn't really working out anymore but I've now realised I still love him even though my family really dislike him. 
I had sex with someone else while we was broken up and I really do regret it now and I would do anything to go back and change what I did but I know i could never forgive myself for what I've done. How am I going to live with myself? I can never tell him as it would break his heart and we would never be able to work out the same again. I need advice!

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

happens quite a bit to girls after breakups, they are vulnerable, weak, seek that comfort. I'd question your self esteem and if it needs repaired you are supposed to take breaks between dating to clean up those emotions. so take the lessons out of this.

so now you have a twisted mess and it could have ben 10x worse than that, so learn and grow! you harbor regret, shame possibly?

I see no other choice than if you are talking to him, you confess... and you lose him, and you take the pain. you can't hide it. you could not share every detail though... like "I did something I regret", but reality is.. he's gonna find out.

what do you think of this: Guys are supposed to protect the girl? some of the blame is on him for breaking up?:) ooohhh... I'm gonna get downvotes on that:) But I' tellin ya, girls are emotional and vulnerable creatures... and nature has a role for men... to protect those women... from themselves! oohhh... I flame me people... flame me with your disgust:)

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

When you go back to your ex, you will soon rediscover the reasons that made you want to break up the first time. The fact that you hooked up so quickly strongly suggests that your feelings are not as strong as you are suggesting.

Of course you miss the good times that you had together. That always happens after a break up. Do you miss the bad times, too?

cutegirl86 · Accepted Answer

Hi Anonymous!
Don't listen to the mean messages below. It is a thorny qustion with a complicated answer... Hard to find the perfect answer.

Also, it depends on your circumstances. Can you answer a few more questions? Where are you from? It depends if you're in a small city (where everyone will know) or a large city (where no one will find out). Secondly, how long have you been together? Has it been a short relationship or a long-term relationship? Also, were you two serious about your future together, or not? Any other factors? Are you of the same age, or is there an age gap? Was the sex a one-time mistake, or a repeated mistake? How far did you go in your sexual mistake?

As a general rule, I would say telling the truth is your best option. If he loves you, he will understand. If not, then you know it was for the best.

Let me know the answers to my questions and I'll come back with a more detailed response, I promise. Also, I would consider therapy down the line.

Pinay_ako · Accepted Answer

yea, tell him the truth. the truth will set you free

Bhragu · Answer

I hate people who get in relationships without thinking over and over whether the guy or girl would be right or wrong. Well there are cases of abuse which forces people to end relationships but I don't think it was the case in your situation. I think it is the stage of early dating when people decide whether the person is right for them or not. I understand that it's not the question so I am coming back to your hookup problem. You did wrong because one month isn't enough for anyone to forget the past relationship and cross all the limits. You are awful because from you hooking up with someone you have proved that your past relationship wasn't important to you. You can't even control your sexual desires so you are an immature person in that domain of life, relationships. You are so terrible and a selfish bitch that you are not facing the reality of what kind of person you are and want to hide from your ex what you did if you are planning to get back together with him. Only advice I can give you is to tell him the truth, say sorry thousand times if you have to. If I were him, I would never ever let you get close to me because a person like you is not ready for a long term relationships. There are problems in evert relationship but you need to solve them with a mature mind. If I were him I would not want to live my love life which involves such lies. He must have a big heart to accept you back after knowing what you did. Well I don't know about your boyfriend, but I do know you are not a responsible person when it comes to relationships. You should apologize to him if you still have feelings for him or you won't lose the weight of regret on your shoulders and you would keep doing the same mistakes in life. I am sorry to say but you are one of the few strangers I would just hate to meet in life.

AlteredBeast · Answer

You made your choices.
You wanted to fuck somebody else and took a "Break".
I see it all the time.
It's only bad if he never got to enjoy any freedom during that time like you did.
Like say you strung him along the whole time pretending that he did something wrong and you guys are working in it and he sat home depressed while you went out and fucked other people.
That sucks.
Next time you take a break make it clear that you're both free to do whatever.
That's my opinion.
Then he doesn't think you've been a little angel.

Browneye57 · Answer

NEVER kiss and tell. EVER.
Date a lot. Just don't have sex with them all. This will give you sufficient experience to actually be to discern whether they're a match, whether they're worthy. This is why we date in the first place. Most will simply not be a match for one reason or another.

Whatever the reasons for the breakup in the first place will still be there, so expect this will happen again. Time to look for a new guy, or several. Have options, broaden your horizons.

JohnAlaska43 · Answer

Well you got go by your emotions alone. Stop listening to your family and friends. Be the bigger person learn and grow from. your mistakes.
You slept with someone else and you regret it. Move on you dont want to hurt your ex. It gets complicated if you lue to him. You need to find another guy. Start over good luck.

winterfox10 · Answer

Don't do this to yourself... you're doing that thing everyone does where they get uncomfortable with the idea of being single, and they remember the good things about the person they dated and want to go back for those days. YOU BROKE UP FOR A REASON, those problems won't go away. As lonely as being single can be; I guarantee that you're better off than you were in that relationship.

boggboss · Answer

Meh you feel guilt for somthing that's nothing wrong if u can't get your head over it then I'm not sure what u should do

TonyBologna25 · Answer

You don't love him dude lol. If you did, then you wouldn't have left on such a blanket statement and suck another mans cock. You should just move on with your life and let him do the same.

Anonymous · Answer

Get over yourself. You made the choice, now move on with life

CreativeMumble · Answer

"WE WERE ON A BREAK!"

Kit_Kat88 · Answer

Don't tell him unless he asks

Hannajenky · Answer

Well at least it's not cheating

blondfrog · Answer

You clearly don't you meant to do it.

Anonymous · Answer

Thats what you get for whoring around

Ilookgoodaf457 · Answer

Get over it

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