I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago. We had had break ups before but he always called later and we made up. This time it ended on bad terms, then we had a phone call and he came to see me to say a goodbye. We kissed and said I love you to each other, he said he didn't really want to leave but he was tiring me with his psychological problems so he said he didn't want to affect me negatively. I wanted him to get psychological help but he said it wouldn't be meaningful since we aren't together anymore. He said he's not going to call or text no more and he asked me to do the same so that he can get over the breakup. Now I feel so upset and I want him to call me again. It's been a day since then and we haven't talked or called. Do you think he'll call again? It was indeed tiring to be with him due to his psychological problems but I miss him so much.
Do you think my boyfriend will call me again?
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Should I text him even though he asked me not to? I don't want it to end. I love him...
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He'll call you eventually. Or you'll call him. Either way, you'll end up back together like you always do. I know how that goes lol.
One of these days you're gonna have to learn to deal with his psyche issues, and he's gonna have to get some help. You can't just keep "breaking up"
But this time it felt like a real break up since he came to my home to see me for the "last time." We broke up only over text before. And he also promised not to call or text again so maybe he's already given up on this relationship
I highly doubt it, but I guess we'll see.
Should I text or call him?
If you want to, that's up to you.
He promised not to contact you, which sounds like emotional game play if you ask me.
You two obviously love each other. If you were really broken up, you'd at least try to stay friends. You wouldn't just go no contact lol
I've been in your shoes many times lol. One or the other will reach out eventually. It's inevitable
He said he can't stay friends with me because of his feelings
Should I wait a couple of days to contact him then?
Lol, yeah he doesn't want to be your friend, he's right. He wants to be your boyfriend.
And he wants you tell him everything is ok and you'll love him however he is.
Again, more emotional game playing. It happens when people love eachother and they're having problems
It might be best to give it some time, yes. Just so you both can have some time apart and realize exactly how much you want to be together
I'm not gonna lie, guys are a bit more stubborn when it comes to not talking. You'll probably have to be the one to reach out first. But I almost guarantee he wants to you to
Yea. He said he'd want me to be ok with him however he is but he couldn't ask me to stay and stand the pain he's caused due to his psychological issues. I'll see what happens in time then. I just hope he finds a way to end up together with me. Maybe it would be better for him and our relationship if he got some proper help for this issues. When I brought this up, he was like "I would but we aren't together anymore so it's meaningless" he said he got psychotherapy before for 6 months only which isn't enough at all
Yeah, he needs to invest more time and effort into getting some help. He can't be taking it out on you.
Some time apart will be good for you guys I think. But just knowing how these things go, I'm sure you'll end up back in eachother's arms some day soon most likely
He was the one who called first each time after we had a break up before, but yeah, I'm not sure this time because he kinda promised not to
I don't really know him, but I assume he might stick to that promise, for a while at least
Well, he isn't so stable... one time we broke up and he said he wouldn't call anymore but then he did anyway. I don't know now. He was like "I hope you find a good person to be with, just don't try to rub it in my face because I'd get jealous" I said he'd probably be over us by then but he told me he wasn't over me after 7 years (we were ex lovers)
He also said he never had a serious relationship before and I was the only girlfriend he truly cared for (he even kept my drawing I made for him 7 years ago)
I texted him about 2 hrs ago, asked him to get psychotherapy and said that if he's ok with it, we could work things out to be together. Hasn't answered yet, he might be working but I don't know, maybe he'll say we already said our goodbyes and he's fine this way
Let me know what he says
Will do. I feel so nervous... when we met up he was like "i don't wanna break up with you but i also don't wanna tire you out. I hope you find someone good for you"
He was in a dilemma and since we said our goodbyes maybe he already gave up I don't know..
I don't think he gave up. Just be patient, he'll get back to you and it's gonna be heart wrenching. Brace yourself
But he asked me not to text or call him. What if that's really what he wants?
It could be, but I'd bet it's not
I hope so... but he hasn't answered and it's been 2 hours. I don't know what to do, should I call or just wait?
Just wait
Maybe he just ignored me?
Or he's busy, or thinking about what he's gonna say, or playing games
What did you say exactly?
It could be too soon honestly. Probably would've been best if you waited a few days
Yea I know, I just couldn't wait. It's been almost 3 hours now that's why I think maybe he just ignored.
I told him that if he agrees to get therapy, I want to be with him and support/try to help him along the way
Also I asked him to read my message at night after work not to get distracted but he must be home right now, it's late
That all sounds reasonable. You know your relationship better than I do. If you think you should try calling him, then that's what you should do
Yeah. But thinking he may have ignored me completely, if I call him, I'll just seem clingy and annoying
But be honest with him, and tell him how you feel.
Say "I know we have some things to work on, but I love you and I don't wanna do this"
Yeah you might. Or you'll seem like you're fighting for your relationship.
I can't remember, did he break up with you? Or was it you?
I gotta be real with you, if you two love each other deeply and you've been together for a while, you're past the point of having to worry about being "clingy". He already knows you well, that's more of an early on thing to worry about
I broke up with him, it ended on bad terms and we had a fight on the phone. He got very mad and said things like "get out of my life, don't call me or text me"
After things calmed down he wanted to come see me for the last time. He said he still didn't want to break up and that he loved me but he also seemed kinda over the relationship. He was saying things like "I hope you find someone good and build a good relationship" He didn't want to stay friends though. He said it would make him jealous to see me with a guy. We kissed and hugged, he watched me walk away, it was emotional
Maybe he just gave up so he ignored
In light of those facts, it's probably best just to leave him alone.
I still think you'll end back together, because love is a lot more powerful than ego, but not for the time being
Maybe I'll call him tomorrow if I don't get an answer. I already told him that I'm ready to support and be with him if he's willing to get the help he needs
All you'll do now is cause another fight. Give him some time to cool off
I'd give it more time than that, but that's up to you.
Like I said, you know your relationship
Yeah. I tried to sound very calm and supportive in my message but I guess he's not ready to talk with me since it's been more than 3 hours now
Yeah he's still upset it sounds like
He's still thinking "fuck this bitch"
It'll take some time before "bitch" turns into "girl", and "fuck" turns into "love" lol
Maybe he just got sick of this on and off cycle that we had in our relationship I don't know.
I was the one that always broke up but he gave me reasons (him being unstable, going no contact etc)
He might be in his ghost mode
Going back and forth like that is extremely toxic, I'm not gonna lie. He could be fed up with it.
But again, if he truly loves you, he'll find a way to convince himself to go back to you. It happens all the time.
You should probably stop doing that though lol. Make up your mind and stick with it
Maybe the one who needs time to think is you. Decide if you really do wanna be with him, or if it's just an emotional attachment.
Love can be like an addiction. It's hard to stay away from, but it's not good for you
In some cases
I know but he has to work on his mental health because he is very unstable and he needs to continue therapy. If he agrees, I want to help him out and try to understand him throughout the process. I just hope that he answers or calls me when he's ready. I'm afraid he'll just ignore and do nothing
Be prepared for anything, and know that he might not ever change
You're the one that broke up with him. Your best move would be to let sleeping dogs lie, and see if he contacts you.
It's up to him now, to decide if he wants to change and fight for you.
But I know you're not gonna do that lol
I have a very deep love for him. It was just tiring to understand why he's doing what he's doing. If he gets therapy it'll make things easier for me as well to understand him so I hope he calls me and gives it a try
I totally understand. You're between a rock and a hard place. I put my girl in the same position he's putting you with all my bullshit.
"Leave the love of my life, or stay and put up with the abuse?"
That's a really hard place to be and it's not fair to you. He needs to make a change like I did, but only he can decide to do it. You can't make him
I hope it works out for you. Keep me updated!
Well... at least I did everything I could now. I guess it's up to him to make a decision if he hasn't already
Exactly. The ball is in his court. He knows what he needs to do
Will do, thanks!
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He called me, he said he got sick and slept all day. We talked things out and he agreed to get therapy but I don't know, we'll see... I hope he takes it seriously
So are you back together?
Yea he said he still loves me and that he doesn't want to break up again. I told him he needs to get therapy and he promised but we didn't talk about getting a therapy appointment or anything
Cool, I'm glad it worked out. Don't hold your breath on the therapy, but I hope for your sake he decides to straighten up one way or another
Thanks for keeping me in the loop! I find other people's love stories fascinating lol
I really hope he takes this therapy plan seriously because he really needs it lol, thanks for listening
I hope he does too. Of course!
Well, things didn't go so well... he didn't take the therapy or "putting in effort" part seriously and we broke up.
I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe one day he'll decide to change, and don't take him back until he does
He made even less time for me, almost went no contact for a whole day, called me hours and hours later, didn't even tell me about his day or anything. We barely talked. Then we had an argument but it was one sided, he refused to understand my point. I got very angry and I told him how there are many people around me who would give and keep their promises (during an argument, he had told me that there were girls calling him to hang out but he didn't go for me "because he's so loyal" which got me mad but I didn't react at the moment so I brought this up as a way to let him see how disturbing it is to hear such things but I know it's immature.)
So when I said that, he started saying things like "ok then goodbye, take care, we broke up, don't stay with me, I don't wanna talk to you anymore etc" and then he stopped texting.
I just apologized for what I said later but I know he was flipping the situation and trying to put the blame on me, so I also said something like "thanks for putting in so much effort" and he was like "why are you acting this way?" I told him this is how I am and there's nothing wrong with me. He said ok, I didn't say anything and that's where it all ended. I don't think he'll call ever again. It's been 3 days now. He's been telling really disturbing things about girls for months, he even told me about his sex life with girls and then he apologized and asked me to forgive him so what I said was nothing, he was just trying to make it a big deal to get a way out of the argument and probably find a way to break up. I let him go. I don't think we'll ever talk again.
By the way, he also said he can't read my messages because they're "so long." Obviously he doesn't even care about what I think. I don't understand why he insisted on being with me this much when he can't even do simple things for me. I feel played but hopefully I can move on soon.
he said goodbye. just because this happened multiple times, doesn't mean he'll come back this time. the fact that this happened multiple times is not good for the relationship. he has issues, as he said. he did the right thing letting this relationship go because obviously i can see it wasn't very healthy for the both of you. trust that this is the right decision
He said he still didn't want to break up but had to for me. He couldn't ask me to stay and stand the pain