How can we get our relationship back after a mental health crisis?

[Sammyjay2412]

I have been with my boyfriend 3 years. 6 months ago he had a mental break down due to a traumatic event in his family. I have supported him to seek mental health. Supported him financially tried to remain patient while he withdrew but I am at the point I am at the point I feel taken for granted and so alone even whilst in a relationship. We never have sex anymore even though that as a big part of our relationship at the beginning. Most recently he completely forgot our anniversary. I don't want to leave but I am not sure how much longer I can keep staying and waiting for him to get better when I feel he puts nothing into our relationship. I know most of it is because of his depression and ptsd. I just feel completely drained putting so much in and getting nothing back..

[Finchie40]

My advice to you is you need to focus on yourself and not be a sitting duck to someone that isn’t giving you the same in return , If he truly valued you and wanted this relationship with you he would be getting the help he needs , when someone loves you they don’t push you away for long , so if he isn’t making any attempts to get the help he needs then that can’t be your problem anymore , you have to focus on you and do what is best for you or you are going to end up with severe depression yourself. Just because we love someone it doesn’t mean you have to be with that person , sometimes letting a love one go is a tough pill to swallow but it’s for your own good , When you start putting your foot down and not taking someone’s shit anymore is sometimes the best cure for someone that is dealing with severe depression, sometimes it makes them fave reality and makes them snap out of the funk they are going through once they realize what they are doing is not good , and getting the help they need So for your own sanity start distancing yourself from him and start telling him No and start making plans with your friends or family members and act like he doesn’t exist anymore , I know it’s easier said then done , but you can not be a sitting duck to someone that treats you like a punching bag and taking you for granted , Trust me , I so been in your shoes with my ex wife that suffered ptsd and depression and anxiety , it was the hardest relationship I was ever in , when I started making it clear to her that I am not a convenience and she will not take me for granted and that I wasn’t taking her shit anymore , she sadly ended up cheating on me but that was my answer to divorce her and realize I deserve better , she tried crawling back to me numerous times and I say No period , by her getting that smack of reality in her face helped her get the help she needs , she is now a changed person and not the demon she was , I won’t take her back but I still respect her and care about her since she is the mother of my children , but I can no longer be with her , getting away from someone like that is the best thing you can do for yourself honestly , cuz staying with someone like that is going to slowly kill you from all the stress they will put you threw, you deserve someone that loves you like you love them , depression and mental illness is a disease , that’s how I look at it , it’s something we have no control over and something we can’t fix in someone that suffers from it , sometimes it’s best to move on for your own sanity

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling in your relationship due to your boyfriend's mental health crisis. It's understandable that you feel drained and unfulfilled after supporting him through this difficult time.

One important step in getting your relationship back on track is to have an honest and open conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings and concerns. Let him know how his behavior is affecting you and how you feel like you're not getting enough out of the relationship. It's possible that he may not even realize how his actions are impacting you.

It's also important to set boundaries and take care of your own needs and well-being. This may mean taking a break from the relationship or seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist. It's important to prioritize your own mental health and happiness, even if that means taking a step back from the relationship for a period of time.

It's possible that your boyfriend may need more time and support to work through his mental health issues. It's important to be patient and understanding, but also to communicate your needs and expectations clearly. Remember that a relationship should be a partnership where both partners feel fulfilled and supported, and it's okay to reevaluate the relationship if it's not meeting your needs.

[leahzrc]

Oh hell no. Call him out for forgetting your anniversary. Call him out for taking advantage of your generousity. Call him out for not initiating sex. Call him out for being distant. He doesn't sound like a boyfriend. He sounds like chairty. He may even be cheating or only using you until you realize he is taking adavantage of you. He sounds like he is using you!!!

[msc545]

Someone needs to call you out for stupidity and giving bad advice. The man is depressed, idiot!

[leahzrc]

You are an idiot. I don't give a fuck if he is depressed. I too have ptsd and depression. This guys sounds exactly like me. Taking advantage of her. Go away loser

[msc545]

I see - who are you taking advantage of?

[leahzrc]

Not anyone at the moment

[DownInTheDumps]

Maybe sit down with him and try and talk to him about how you are feeling, if you haven't done this as of yet.

[Sammyjay2412]

I have sat down with him and tried talking it always leads to the same place of him being overwhelmed and shutting down. He just ends up saying he can't make me happy so wants to leave

[DownInTheDumps]

Oh that's sad. I would probably in this case take a break and spend time away from him to see if anything changes. If nothing does than I would feel it is best to end the relationship.

[msc545]

His therapist needs to provide a joint session for you both or if the therapist is reluctant to do that, ask for a referral to another therapist for both of you. Also, your boyfriend needs a physical exam and bloodwork to be sure nothing else is going on.

[OlderAndWiser]

What is the event which caused him to have PTSD and depression? Have you attended any of his treatment sessions or ever spoken to his therapist?

[Sammyjay2412]

Yes I have

[Anonymous]

is he getting therapy and working through it? if not, he really needs to. and relationship needs to be put on hold for now until he can get his bearings. i don't blame you for feeling burnt out when you've tried your best. hang in there.

[In_Trance]

What was the traumatic family event?