Break Up & Divorce

My husband has ended his affair, but did he love her?

6 months ago I found out my husband of 14 years was having an affair, it took a few weeks to get the full information out of him but it seems it started as a 7 year emotional affair and had just turned physical shortly before me finding out. I found an old laptop in the loft one day and decided to have a browse as the old photos and unbeknown to me, it was still logged in to his social media account. I spent hours that day reading through various messages, 80% of the time it seemed purely platonic, they spoke of work, kids, thier partners, he said he loved me etc, but there was emotion between them of them saying they missed each other, showing each other care and compassion… not necessarily flirting. He says he did not love her, but cared about her, that she was only ever a friend and one thing just led to another, that she initiated it for years and he one day gave in to her, said she was stuck on a violent relationship and he was trying to comfort her. I know, I don’t believe it either but I have decided to forgive him for my own reasons, we have children, a business, friends, and we like the family we have provided for the children. I know he loves me, and he says he didn’t love her but it’s been 6 months since they last spoke and he seems truly sad. He’s a shell of the man he was, I guess he’s missing her on some level, I ask if he’s thinking of her as he just zones out but he says he isn’t. How can I help him heal? I’m hurting too but I guess I don’t have that attachment to someone I can’t be with.

My husband has ended his affair, but did he love her?
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