Nearly 1.5 years ago I broke up with a long term girlfriend- or rather, she broke up with me. Our relationship had plateaued, and some things came to light that finally pushed her to cut ties. I was complacent, immoral, and simply thoughtless. However, despite the fact that it was my fault I felt terrible for a long time. Luckily she was set to move out of state for the last portion of her graduate degree, which I'm sure helped her get over me.
For several months I simply stewed in depression, sleeping with random girls, while the fleeting thought that she'd reconsider (we had been together for 4 years, getting over countless things) disappeared. Last summer I reached out to her for the last time, and she blocked me (at my faux urging).
Shortly thereafter I met another girl who was simply great. She was pretty, athletic, came from a good family, virgin, etc. (pretty much a unicorn, nowadays). Still, I never stopped feeling for this other girl (my ex), but work kept me too busy to stew on it endlessly. Anyway, we're set to get married in the Fall (of this year). I do love her, but it's more from the point of view of duty and responsibility, over the type of bond I still feel toward this other girl.
My ex graduates tomorrow, and she's back in our hometown. I have no inclination to approach her- I'm not crazy (nor do I want a restraining order), but does anybody else have experience with loving someone for years after they leave?
Also, if anyone has the advice of "leave your girlfriend; you're clearly..." save it. I'm too old to spend another year or two getting over her. I want a family and stability, and a girl like this does not just come around whenever someone is "ready." Lastly, she'd (my current) would be far worse off if I did leave.
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Every man has 'the one that got away'. Part of growing up is getting over her and seeing the better deal that is right in front of you. Do you have any idea how many men would literally kill for the unicorn you are about to marry? Don't screw that up.
I agree. I just saw her graduate (streaming Youtube), and while I'm proud of her, glad to have been there through most of it (supporting her as well), I have to let it go.
Good job coming to that realization. You've taken a step further into manhood.
What do you mean she’d be far worse off of you did leave? It sounds to me like you’re just trying to convince yourself because no good girl ever wants to feel second best.