*Still do Not think A lot has been Accomplished. I have Not Opted to go Back. However, I do Feel a Need to be Part of His Life. Yes, There is Resentment on Both sides. Any Kind Suggestions to "Now What?"xxoo
please drop this idea of a need to be in his life. Why don't you let past remain as past? I don't think it's a good idea to bring past to your present no matter how much good feeling you have for your ex. Otherwise it will definitely affect your coming relationships. You said you both are holding resentments then if you stay in his life you both may fight over the things that happened while you were in relationship plus suppose if your current boyfriend is also included in this , think how much will he be hurt. Overall it's not worth it please try to move on. if it's getting difficult cut off all contacts from him block him from social medias. You guys met, fell in love, spent some good times and bad times together, may be u made some mistakes or he made some mistakes whatever it Is forgive him and yourself. Put your past inside a box as collection of beautiful memories and it's normal if sometimes you miss those memories but just don't run after him. You won't be happy and won't be able to move on until you stay in contact with him. Rest is on you. I hope it helps 🤞
What’s making you feel the need to be in his life? Have you been in contact as of late?
Thank you for opting not to go back. A relationship that is over, is over for a reason, and if someone is being uncertain about it then they aren't the person to be with. But you now need to ask yourself why you feel a need to be a part of his life. What makes you feel like it's necessary? What benefit would you get from it? And if you were apart of his life, what's to say he would even appreciate that?
My breakup/divorce after 20 years of marriage was hard on me. I threw myself harder into work, and withdrew from society (almost a hermit) for a month or so. Then, I realized, and convinced myself, that life goes on. I started dating online, had a few nice (though short 6 month relationships) until I met my SO. 6+ years and counting.
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u Now, leave your ex in the past and start dating again!
resentment is not a good foundation to build on.
so what lead you two to resentment?
and a year is a good long while alright.
I wouldn't suggest hooking up with him again if it was so bad it ended in no friendship or contact.
you could possible be friends.. but honestly. befriending an x is difficult.. it may work out for a while but.. long term good friends is unlikely.
all in all good chance it is a waste of time and you are better off figuring out how to be by yourself and improve yourself for a while. then find someone new.
i This is a though one !
so after breaking up you did not speak with him yet you have kind of feeling to return..
Please if you do start moving now... a year is long and it is only getting harder to make the step towards him. I think it is wise to contact him find a way to talk about everything what went wrong and why? Why you broke up.
You will have things on him like he has on you. Talk about that.. try to find a solution.
Then and only then you can gently move forward. But if you wait any longer he will move on ... being a year.. is i think already to long.
And if he already moved on.. then hopefully you can too...
I wish you all the best 🤗
First of all, can anyone spell properly on this site? Secondly - take it day by day. Third - do not overthink it - that leads to sadness. Don't despair. Work on yourself. Recognize what worked well and what didn't work well. Emphasize what worked, evaluate what didn't work keeping in mind that ALL people are different.
If we encountered our mate and he/she are exactly like ourselves - frankly I don't think that will work well. It's the differences we notice in each other. Question is, can we tolerate them in the short, medium and long term.
" Two people marry/become intimate. HE expects HER not to change- she DOES. SHE expects HIM to change, HE DOESN'T".
Acknowledging that you had a part to play in why that outcome came about means you are ready to move on. Blaming him for his part and holding resentments is not the way to continue being friends. The resentments will get in the way of that.
I am not saying that you blame him but you did mention it and the resentments.
I think setting down with him and letting him know that you were partly to blame and make amens for that. But don’t say anything about his part in that because it is not about him right now. If he cannot admit his own part that he played then maybe he is not ready for friendship and you need to move on without him.
If he is able to admit his part then both of you need to forgive each other and become friends again without the relationship.
How are you doing with the new play, ?
Have you been cultivating any relationships in your new home? Building a life is like everything else, it is hard and takes a lot of work. You need to be proactive.
I am not ganging up on you, I have been where you are. I just think you have a lot going for you, Paris and you need to realize that you only get out of life what you put into it.
As for every journey it starts with one small step & as for you it’s time for you to start taking small steps once again & go on a new journey. In life I always say if you never try you will never know & as for me I rather try & fail rather than not try at all. In life there is only one way to move & forward is the way to go. It’s been about a year since your breakup & if truth be told unless you are going to makeup from your breakup it’s time for you to move forward. Love is a wonderful thing & love works in mysterious ways. Love could be seen in your future if you let love from your past go.
haha , was going to say Been , just read the update.
Paris , its been a year , you have managed , you have moved out , it doesn't have to be absolute black/ white , but just take a slight interest from afar , because , today may just be the day when you meet the next one...
You don't need to live in his pocket.
the key statement is "not a lot has been accomplished". has any effort at work been done on either or both sides? Probably go to divorce counseling, read some books, meditate, make some changes.
ideally, you'd learn and grow from it. If it was just pain and loss, then have to accept it and start again.
in the absence, new opportunities arise.
A year. Why hung up? Regret? No closure?
Meet him for lunch and talk it over. Keep emotions out at first and let his feelings emerge. You don’t have to get mad if what he says isn’t true and blames you. You won’t change his mind. But I think that would show you how a good a decision it was.
Just wait for sometimes till the feelings go away, focus on yourself. Eat good, workout , focus more on your career. When done you should fall for someone else and try to get with them it would not be so easy but you will go through it easily
Sometimes the natural course is to move apart from one another. You may both still like each other, but if there's resentment it most likely will never go away.
cut contacts and now that you deserve better! and if you are meant to be universe will bring you back. until then just enjoy your life :)) wish you luck
If it ended with resentment there's truly no need for anything to continue. Say bye and call it a day.
I've always thought it was very important to find happiness on your own before moving on to a new relationship or restarting an old one.
s You could keep him as a friend as long as there's respect on both sides. Also, think if it's going to hurt you or not.
just cut the cord so you can move on.
Otherwise, you will be wasting a lot of time for nothing.
Just move on!
It’s always great to stay friends if you can be, especially since you spent so much time around each other. There’s gonna be resentment from both but you can’t let it get in the way of what could be a great friendship.
Breakups are never easy. in my opinion take time for yourself. My breakup a while back really got me. Music helped a lot.
Think of what you expect the "end result" to be.
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