Have you ever wondered if your ex broke up with you to test you?

[BourbonAndBacon]

I had an ex break up with me out of the blue when everything was seemingly going great. A few hours after the breakup, she started following me on IG. There was no animosity and never any drama.

Updates

7 mo

She broke up with me a couple years ago and I'm engaged to someone else. My fiance wanted to see what she looked like so I pulled up my ex's IG and saw she was going on the same vacations I went on doing the same activities that I did and her posts mirrored mine. I don't follow her so it was a surprise. She also had some really sad posts and it was suggested to me that she was testing me to see if I would chase her.

[kano140]

in my opinion there are two options and both should lead to the same conclusion: that you should get over it and move on.

1) (Probably the most likely) It is all in your head. If you like someone and then it doesn't work out it makes sense that your brain will try to think of every excuse to deny that it is over and that you still have a chance. You are being irrational because your brain is ignoring all the actual strong evidence (like how they clearly broke up with you) and instead focusing on random other things trying desperately to think up some absurd situation where the clear breakup was some sort of misunderstanding (even though it is almost definitely not).

2) Maybe they are testing you, and if that is the case then it probably is a good thing that you broke up because that is not a healthy kind of relationship. A happy relationship should not feel like a battle where you are constantly testing each-other and demanding 'proof' of how you feel. Relationships take healthy amounts of trust and confidence. If you need to constantly make tests to make sure they still love you then you or they either need some help to resolve those trust issues or just to find someone else who you can trust more.

[BourbonAndBacon]

I'm engaged to someone else now. My fiance wanted to see my ex's IG and noticed that she was going on the exact same vacations that I had gone on and some of her posts mirrored mine. There were a bunch of recent sad posts about things not working and it was suggested that she broke up with me to test if I would chase her

[thegreenyogi]

A similar situation happened to me. And the more I wondered if he broke up with me to play games or whether he broke up with me just because he wanted to self sabotage the relationship so that he didn't have to be totally honest the way I see it it's always a sign of immaturity and a form of manipulation in wanting to play the test game. And I can tell you that even if that were the case it's better that they broke up with you because it's a sign that a person will always play games in the space of the relationship.

[thegreenyogi]

Thank you for the MHO!!

[DaveJord]

So, when I was young and naive, I used to convince myself that woman did stuff like this to test me. But that is because I was young and thinking with the wrong head.

So, at my age, it does not really matter to me if she is playing some game or is just messing with me... because it doesn't matter. It really does not matter what her motivations are to me, because I know what mine are and either she is happy with that, or she is not. When a woman does things like this, I just lose interest.

I am not going to lie; I have done this to women myself. It's just part of the process and dating sucks like that... but you got to have these experiences if you want to learn from them and improve upon them.

Now as far as the IG thing goes, I would entertain her because you might be able to back door yourself back into a relationship or sex. But I would be very unsure if this was a person I would want to date. But if the relationship still worked in some way for me on some level, I would entertain it. But once I got completely bored of the situation I would move on.

[DaveJord]

To the update... dude do not fall victim to Social Media mind fuck. You two had a chance, she made your choices and you made ours. If this woman is not actively pursuing you... for get about it.

Don't fall into the mind fuck trap... people feel they must test others in this way, usually believe on some level they better and more deserving... so they feel they have to really make you earn it, because they are worth it.

And here are with another woman... and your playing mind fuck games with yourself. Step back get your priorities in line.

[BourbonAndBacon]

I don't follow her or talk to her or even think about her. We were together for a year and a half so I know her fairly well. I allowed myself a couple days to be sad after the breakup and started dating again the following week. Dating isn't hard so I don't ever feel the need to play games

[DaveJord]

Thats what I am talking about!!! Awesome my man!

[Somoneelse]

If my ex tried to test me when she broke up with me. She failed misserably. We cut contact and I never spoke her again after the breakup. I know she still follows my social media and misses me (some mutual friends told me) but I moved on after some days and went on to work on myself and focus on my media-business.

[Belgie]

Nope. I just don't care. If she dumps me then I move on and never think about her.

[zeitgeist057]

yup, I find it odd and somewhat amusing that someone would even bother to think about what their ex was doing and for what motivation. Who cares, it's over. Especially if she did it "as a test", that just confirms she's too stupid and/or manipulative to qualify as a partner.

[Paris13]

I Dumped Him a Year Ago But Only Vent to Let Out my Resentment. Perhaps God is The One Testing Us... xxoo

[Anonymous]

I made the mistake of hoping that was true when I had one ex break up with me years ago. We still had to chat about business issues a few weeks afterwards. I naively thought some of the old connection was there. It was very cheerful and optimistic when interacting with her. But my hope was wrong. Dead wrong.

She proceeded to give me one of the deepest insults I had ever taken from a woman in my life a few weeks after when we meet up. It wasn’t said in anger either. It was said in cold callous disgust. Like I was less than human.

I then deduced she most likely cheated on me the week before she dumped me. She had to see me as lower than pond scum to self justify what she did. I was suspicious that was possibility at break up but I didn’t question her about it. I didn’t want to risk falsely accusing her of something because I believed at the time that would destroy the slim chance of reconciliation. But my gut knew something was up. Right or wrong I wish I would of said “I was loyal to you the entire relationship. Can you say the same?”

Anyway if this ever happens again then I will say “best of luck” and never turn back. Not going to naively hope that she is testing me otherwise. And if the girl’s shit test leads to her own self sabotage then TOUGH LUCK if she still has feelings.

I am so sick of women not expecting men to take what they say at face value and mixed message bs.

[Selliebeanz]

So get this. Mine broke up with me after cheating but then continued interacting with me like we were together. I told him I wanted to work things out and be together but he wanted to “just stay friends”. I told him straight out I wasn’t his friend I was his girl or I was nothing. I cut off all contact and it’s like he’s always reaching out to me still. Like obviously you thought so little of me to cheat on but you won’t leave me alone when you wanted the break up? Even someone who wanted to just be friends could have respected my wishes. I was good to him in the relationship and I don't know what I did to deserve that but it’s whatever. He literally won’t leave me alone though.

[Chevy1_kb]

No mines didn't we didn't get on good after a year at all arguing non stop fighting his mum was loosing the plot with us to much he cheated that how all the arguing and fighting started in the first place he didn't do it to test me we just didn't get on at all we still remain friends but a can tell he's no one for getting together again that's why I forgot about him that way as in love to so now we just remain friends still sleep together he has 2girlfriends a found out but nas he's no testing me he's want no relashionship between us again and neither do i its to much am not going through 2years of been cheated on and therapy for that again so no he's not testing he doesn't want me back that way again you just know nd feel it thats why i dont want him back either my lifevhas got much better without beingvin a relashionship with him

[ZackBan]

The minute she broke up with me she's the one who failed the test.

I have no hard feelings about it and still see her every now and then as a friend. But I won't be party to some twisted mind game, if you want me come get me that's my way of life

[Notfrommars]

Hmmm maybe she figures you won’t be talking that much now that you’re broken up so she wants to still stay connected through IG. Maybe she’s not that invested in you or thinks that you’re not. If you are, you could always try to see if you could get her back

[strateguy632]

not until i heard the song "or will you watch me walk away without a fight". tisdale song , title what if. but girls if feel like we are cold, will talk about break up , just hoping we will want them.

now i learned not to say "okay whatever you want" kuz she didn't want breakup. instead she wanted to hear that you wanted her.

[Fireguy17]

No. At least I don't think so.

Once we break up I move on.

When I was younger we didn't have computers etc, yes I am that old.

So there wasn't anyway other than stalking someone to see what they were doing.

But if she was just doing that to play games she would be the big looser.

[Anonymous]

I've had exs break up usually because they had successfully monkey branched on to another man. They still followed me on social media, I guess to keep me as a back up or to see if I end up dating anyone any better than them. One ex all of a sudden wanted me back after dumping me for another guy because I had started dating a hotter chick.

[provokeesmokee]

Nope. I broke up with them, but also I don't play games. Break ups aren't something to joke about. If I break up, it's over.

If someone breaks up with me, I respect that. It isn't a game or test for me.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Maybe... or maybe they just wanted to fuck someone else without trying to be a cheater.

Not my problem... I'm busy fucking someone else now.

[Radiate143]

I had someone do that do me. He did end up apologizing after I went NC for 6 months. On the second go around he was an even bigger jerk. So people who do this are shady people.

[MrOracle]

I don't play that game. If we break up, we're done, forever. You can leave any time, but you can only leave once.

[Drumlin2001]

Maybe. But she killed any chance of getting back together with her stance on parenting our child (she had fallen pregnant, seemed to think she owned the child and I would be a second class parent)

[Juxtapose]

I have had my suspicions that women were playing tricks on me before with this type of thing but I've learned to just not give a shit. If they can't communicate like adults then they are only going to be a headache.

[ManOnFire]

For a very brief time with my last ex, I questioned if she did it to test me, yeah. But I soon found out that was far from the case.

[Anonymous]

Breaking up just to test someone is a bad move, goodluck for them if their partner actually love em truly but due to the breaks up, they immediately lost feelings. Anyhow, stop playing/testing someone’s feeling and heart, cuz it hurts

[TalkWithoutSpeaking]

I have wondered about that but it's not long before I let the thought go and realize that it was for the best.

[kaylaS91]

Nope.

I broke up with both of my exes.