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Is the real reason why guys rarely are the ones initiating divorce is that guys worry about the financial consequences they will suffer, or is it really that they just love their wives and genuinely don't want to divorce them? Or what other reasons do they not want to divorce?
One, men are the ones who get slaughtered in the divorce as the state now gets to preside over the relationship end.
Women are usually always given sole custody of children and therefore keep the home and men are forced to leave and then pay support for his own children. Very, very few states have automatic JOINT CUSTODY and party A pays for food and care when at party A's dwelling and party B pays for food and care when at party B's dwelling.
Very few states have AT FAULT divorce meaning that if I come home and find my wife F'ing some other guy I can show proof at the divorce and she because she broke her marriage vows and caused the split doesn't get any alimony and her cut is reduced because she broke the marriage contract. Most states couldn't care less what one party did against the other it is automatically half and the man will get stuck paying for some other full grown adult, a cheating whore's existence.
Alimony. Even if a wife cheats, the guy usually always has to pay alimony to his ex for years. 2 full grown adults go their separate ways but one party is bound by law to keep working and then pay his toil and sweat to some cheating ex his money. Some states have LIFETIME alimony. Florida just did away with lifetime alimony and boy were there tons of women squealing like pigs because some guy doesn't have to keep cutting them checks until he's dead. Many women will have their new men but won't move in with them or marry so they'll keep getting alimony.
The divorce laws are tyrannical and usually a guy doesn't get to see his kids much and some new boyfriend of hers gets to live in his own home and be around his kids all the time.
Lastly, men are easier to please and keep content then women. Most women are always worried about something and women are always fretting about something. Many women have a hard time being content or happy. Many women expect to have the "tingles" and "feelings" for life and if they subside with time they get antsy and want to move on because they are "unhappy". Oh, does he abuse you, did he cheat? No, I'm just not "in love" anymore, I need to be "happy", I'll get the courts to kick him out of his own home and take his kids away and get alimony so I can go chase to new dick and get the "chemistry" and "feelings" again.
Other countries marriage is seen more as having duties and responsibilities and obligations and loyalties. In the west it is seen as a way to feel "happy" all the time and if it ever gets tough they feel so entitled that they'll just destroy the family to go seek new pleasures. There is zero sense of duty, honor, commitment, responsibility.
Basically, in the west a marriage "contract" is a contract women are PAID CASH to break... so tons do.
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Most men love their woman and therefore they are willing to struggle through the difficults moments of the relationship in the hope that the relationship succeed. A good woman on a men side empowers him and most men don't give up when a woman gives him negative emotions, I think men are way more long-term minded then most woman are
You got to understand then a lot men of men out there suffer extremely long after being dumped in a long term relationship. I know many guys who crumbled completely after being dumped becoming self destructive.. often messing up there whole lifestyle they worked hard for to achieve.
Personally I went through it aswell 8 years ago. I got a great job, was planning to buy a house, finances where great, I was happy in the relationship even when my ex gave me headaches often because of her jealousy.
But when she decided to dump me... I was so heartbroken that nothing was important anymore. I threw myself of a cliff completely becoming self destructive in every way...
I crashed my whole life into a pile of rubbish, losing my job, getting myself into financial debts, get addicted on both liqueur and hard drugs which eventually made me careless not giving a fuck about nothing anymore. Which finally got me jailed after I lit two 5G-towers on 🔥out of frustrations and depression combined.
I literally went from having everything I needed to thrive in life to completely rock bottom unable to give a damn about anything or myself anymore.
Painfull memory's and I'm still pissed that I let it happen just like that 🤦🏼♂️
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Men are more willing to put up with a less-than-ideal situation than women are. Plus, men know that, in divorce, the man is going to lose... economically.
It's clearly emotional. Men not only initiate divorce less, they also take far longer to get over a lost relationship than women do and suffer more after a divorce. Most men with divorced friends know those divorced men are doing worse than they are.
"And while media often shows men finding relief after “escaping the bear trap” of a bad marriage, and casts women in a desperate, “washed-up” light, research continues to show that women often report being happier after divorce.A 2013 survey conducted by London’s Kingston University said the majority of women were happier than they had ever been after divorcing. Another survey by Carphone Warehouse said 35% of women were less stressed after divorce compared to 17% of men."
https://www.prospecttherapy.com/blog/2022/8/17/5-reasons-people-report-being-happier-after-divorce
"divorced men have higher rates of mortality, substance abuse, depression, and lack of social support."
https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10.1016/j.jomh.2012.09.002?journalCode=j.jomh#:~:text=Divorced%20men%20have%20significantly%20more,chronic%20conditions%2C%20and%20mobility%20limitations.
"Most men, instead of being happy about their newly found freedom, feel lost and abandoned. They are unable to pick up the broken pieces of their lives and move ahead."
"They are not expected to cry and vent their emotions. Because of this, men actually never heal. All their emotions – anger, sadness, resentment – remain bottled up. This often leads to anxiety and depression and hampers their health, happiness, and overall quality of life."
"It is commonly observed that men experience a sharp decline in health after divorce. This is often due to their poor lifestyle and less active routine. To escape loneliness, men often engross themselves in work. Some even resort to poor eating habits as well as smoking and drinking to overcome sadness. This leads to aggravated health problems, like:Divorced men are more likely to suffer from cancer and heart diseases.
Due to poor eating habits, divorced men are more likely to experience extreme changes in their health and weight.
Divorced men often undergo severe emotional turmoil. They may feel angry at one time and sad or depressed the next.
They also suffer from regret, loneliness, disappointment, denial, and guilt. Such strong emotions often take a toll on their mental health.
Men undergoing and even after their divorce are more likely to suffer from stress, anxiety, depression, and insomnia (inability to sleep).
Due to physical and emotional health issues, their immune system gets weakened. They are more likely to suffer from colds and flu than others.
Even the mortality rate for divorced men is significantly higher than that of married men."-
Financially, a guy/man has a lot to lose and in the western courts they favour women more. I've studied law a bit during my undergrad years in university and I didn't bother pursuing law school because pre-law students were just pompous, arrogant students who only cared about money not working in the field of law in a moral/ethical sense. Lawyers have told me, that the courts, the judge will favour women, that defence lawyers will fluff the stories for women with fabricated evidence so the woman wins a case. It can boil down a woman is "bored" of the marriage, has a promiscuous past and is pursuing new men. I've grown up and know women aren't that innocent and loyal. Therefore, women in order to ruin the marriage will sleep with someone else and file for divorce and make up excuses that her husband abused her.
I'm not saying men are perfect, there are tons of cases of domestic abuse. But i've watched enough crime shows, police shows, read enough magazines and newspapers where women have lied about abused or rape. There are messed up women out there who just want money. I've heard a quote before, men love unconditionally to a woman, while a woman may love a man conditionally and I totally agree it's the truth. Men tend to be the one's who are loyal, funnier, stronger than their female counterparts and that's no knock on women because females offer other great traits. But women initiate divorce marriage more because outside influence from immature female friends, what toxic tv shows like Keeping Up With the Kardashians fill a woman's mind of "grass is greener on the other side" mindset. Men may sleep around for one night stands and it's not right, but men know finding a loyal woman isn't easy, of course if a man or guy sleeps around and is already in a relationship or married, he's an idiot.
But women are also delusional where she thinks, "I can find a better man" even though her current husband or boyfriend is loving, caring, forgiving, tolerant to her behaviour, hard working, handsome, respects her and her family, that's not easy to find and women and girls especially have to understand that but in 2023, a lot of women don't these days.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/JRW6-XNvJPwhttps://www.youtube.com/embed/c9_2nmbAuEs - Anonymous(30-35)
What women don’t realise about men is that while plenty are just horny idiots who’ll have sex with anything with a pulse, there are also plenty of men who are the opposite - very idealistic, romantic ideas. In fact I’d say that the majority of men are like this.
I used to be, before I got burned a few times. I was obviously horny just like any man, but I wasn’t interested in having sex with loads of women. I dreamed of marrying and having a family. When I was talking to a girl I liked I wasn’t imagining sex with her, I was daydreaming about all the romantic things we could do together.
I probably didn’t show it, and many of these guys probably don’t, because we don’t want to be laughed at or mocked for being soft.
So then when these types guys get married, they genuinely see it as a life-long commitment and they marry for love. They believe that when things are bad they should work on fixing it. They don’t believe in divorce unless someone does something terrible, such as becoming abusive or cheating. They put everything into the family, and that becomes who they are. Their entire identity.
That’s the main reason. This is why following divorce men are 8x more likely to kill themselves.
For me , it had nothing to do with emotions.
1. Financial 2 . The Children
And let me tell you , No 2 was a big worry , I made an horrendous mistake marrying my ex wife ( long long gone ) , she was pregnant , the family was horrendous ( hers - I didn't find that out till later ) was kept from me , so I had good reason to be extremely scared , and I was.
Suprisingly , it worked out , but only because I had 50/ 50 Custody , and this meant I could keep her from her horrendous roots , no one can work to the reverse of a negative , but never marry down in class , status , financial , it was my worst mistake.
In answer to your question , many men would have similar reasoning to me , plus in USA throw in religion, but oh yeah , what I did all those years ago I would not wish on anyone.
- Anonymous(36-45)
I can give three reasons. Statistically when it comes to divorce, men are blind sided by it. They basically have no. Idea it's coming. The woman does this idiotic childish manipulative thing by choosing not to directly and bluntly communicate her issues.
The second reason, even when men initiate divorce, the courts overwhelmingly favor women over men, and it financially destroys him, and causes him to lose his home, his vehicles, and his family..
Ane third reason, men are typically more willing to work things out than women are, women treat marriage like it's something she can wipe her ass with and stomp on, man do not. Proof of this is in the fact that you don't see me having divorce parties.. Where as women are known for that kind of bullshit. - Anonymous(25-29)
"Today and always, I choose you as my partner for life. I take you as my spouse, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part."
Because unlike women, when men say this ^ they mean it.
Today's women have no sense of commitment. For confirmation of that. look no further than the divorce rates for straight, gay and lesbian couples. The highest rate by far is among lesbians, and the lowest is among gays. In other words, the more women there are in a marriage, the higher the risk of divorce.
Men are biologically conditioned to seek quantity.
Women are biologically conditioned to seek quality.
Men want more women.
Women want a better man.
Obviously there will be individual differences, but on average a man will be less inclined to give up a relationship with a woman than the opposite way around, while also being more likely to cheat even if he likes who he is with.- 342 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
I personally think most men once they reach a certain age and already married they don't want to deal with trying to get in physical shape, find an apartment, move all their stuff and go look to go find another woman as that can drain a lot of energy doing so.
That's why most men don't bother with divorce if they already have a woman at home or that woman is seriously getting on his nerves.
And you like you said, financially lawyers cost lots of money and most men don't earn enough money especially having to spend it on court fees and lawyers so they don't bother with divorce. 
Men cheat move often than women...
But also a lot of women do everything in the relationship, I wouldn't be surprised if the men actually initiated the divorce but the women are the ones that actually do the paperwork. (What the initiation rates are I assume based on)
Most men have anyway not much to lose financially, that's why I suppose it's rather losing something that belongs to them emotionally. I wouldn't call it sentimentality but gardener's dog syndrome that can't stand the fact other dog plays in his old garden after his owner sold that garden.
I’d say men usually have more of the money, so they cheat and keep their wives on the back burner.
Women have more rights to married funds now674 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic. I know guys that made good money that after they got divorced they ended up living with their parents or renting a room someplace. I knew a cop that used to sleep in the attic of the police station/ I imagine most guys are afraid they will end up sleeping in their cars.
I don’t know
I’ve been married three times, and I initiated the divorce all three timesI’m a nice guy I’m a good guy I’m a good provider, but I am a horrible judge of character and I used to be way too patient and I would let someone take advantage of me to a fault
Probably figure that we are all batsh! t crazy, better the devil you know than the devil you don't know.
- 381 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic. u
what is your reason to think that all the people lie about why they divorce... lol
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There's a reason "cheaper to keep her" is a saying. Not just because it rhymes and "cheaper to dump her in international waters" doesn't even rhyme.
749 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic. I think it's because more commonly it's men who are not doing their share. I could be wrong about that.
This is just a generalization, but men are a lot easier to keep happy.
I think both factors are relevant. The courts favor women heavily and deter men from getting a divorce. Also, a lot of men are romantics at heart and don’t want to divorce.
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