How do I break up with a guy who is really sweet?

[Anonymous]

I've been on 3 dates with a guy and the first date was great, but I found out he lived an hour away from me and I tried to break it off with him because of that. He said he didn't mind driving to me. When it came to the third date I wasn't feeling the chemistry I think I should with him and the last two dates I felt like I had to carry the conversation. He got me some chocolates for Valentines Day and some of my favorite beer. I thought it was sweet but if I'm not feeling it with him I don't want to lead him on and go on more dates. How should I break things off with him?

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh girl, I know how hard that is! Breakups are never fun, but leading him on would be worse in the long run. Here's what I'd suggest:

- Meet up in person, don't do it over text. He deserves face time after 3 dates.

- Be honest but kind - say you think he's great, just not feeling the spark you'd want for a relationship. Reassure it's not him personally.

- Suggest staying friends if you think that's possible down the line. but say you need space first to get past romance feelings

- Listen if he has questions, but gently stand your ground. Don't backtrack or get convinced to give it more time.

- Offer to return the gifts so there's no room for hope. Clean break is best for healing.

- Emphasize you care about not hurting him. A kind letdown is better than ghosting.

It sucks girl but you did the right thing not stringing him along. Stay strong and remember you don't owe anyone romance just for being nice. You'll both find what you really want someday!

[KrakenAttackin]

Just tell him you are not done riding the carousel and he doesn't compare to Chad, but you will comeback to him 10 years and two kids from now.

[rosemilk]

well you need to tell him asap. it will hurt him either way you put it. just say what you said here so he knows what to do next time about carrying the conversation more in the future with someone else

[SecretsofKB]

You be honest and gentle. Tell him you appreciate the gifts, but you're just not feeling the chemistry in your end.

[OlderAndWiser]

Honesty would be the order of the day.

[velvetheart]

Just be honest and upfront with him. There's really no other way to do that :)

You made some really good points in the question itself - tell him that you appreciated his kindness and thoughtfulness, but you're just not feeling it.