Time heals, but some wounds leave scars. If someone who once hurt you came back after years and said “I’m sorry,” would that mean anything to you now? Would you accept it for closure, give them another chance, or just move on without looking back?
Sort of. I had a dragged out situation for a year and the guy finally apologized for one of the things that really hurt me both emotionally and socially. I was done with him, but he kept resurfacing and causing a fresh problem. So finally I insisted on a mediated meeting and we hashed through the situation. He twisted a few details to minimize the number of things he had to apologize for... and I was basically just tired of his nonsense after a year so i just waited for the meeting to be over so I could sign him off.
I've never been married, but there is one ex-girlfriend who really caused me problems many years ago. Not that I'd ever expect to hear from her but if hypothetically I did hear from her and she wanted to apologize, I think I would accept it but only after asking her a lot of questions about her state of mind back when we split up and why she was so mean.
Different former girlfriend, but back in college I did get an apology from an ex-girlfriend a year after she and I split up. There was a lot of tension between us after we split up and she wanted to clear the slate before we graduated. I was impressed with her coming forward to apologize and I apologized right away for my part of it. She was surprised that I was so quick to accept her apology.
Much different situation than the first one that I mentioned.
Well sorry is just a word unless it comes with a true and heart felt understanding of what they did wrong and why it was wrong. So unless the apology came with at least that it would be dismissed as empty and meaningless.
If I am to accept it years later there are a few variables , it could never be always accepted , but as I don’t hold on to shit like that then it would be more of question of how I see them now and so would attempt to draw a line , judging them from this point forward.
If it's years later, I'd expect that you'd moved on. But if an ex has improved himself and his outlook and realized what wrong he did, that is something wonderful. It means he's a better person now, and you should be happy he was thoughtful enough to apologize and glad that he's doing better.
Doesn't mean you want to revisit a relationship that is long over. You're in a different place, and likely with a different person. Be glad for the apology and for him being a better person. WIsh him good luck and happiness. And revel in your good luck and happiness.
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Forgave them ages ago, not because I'm nice, but because bitterness is bad for my peace. Their apology now? A little too late to the party. I've already moved on, rebuilt, and upgraded like the Terminator T-800. Their 'sorry' is like trying to return expired milk... sweet thought, but useless now
I'll be back... but not for this 👽
He would not have much to apologize for. He did a few things wrong in the relationship, but nobody on earth is going to be perfect all the time. If he did apologize, I would be subtly glad and uplifted and might see it as an opportunity to establish a distant, necessity based connection with them for rare proxy situations where calling old allies could minimize unexpected problems in their life.
u "Closure" means that you are at a point where you can let go of your anger/hurt/pain and start moving forward. You can do that without receiving an apology from your ex. However, there would be some satisfaction in having my ex-wife admit that she should have remained in our marriage.
I would say great thank you and walk away that's all I would say. . That was yesterday and yesterday is over with.. we don't need yo talk about ir. We don't even need to say anymore to each other except good bye have a good day
A sincere apology should always be accepted in a polite society. This doesn’t command forgiveness or acceptance. People too often conflate these concepts.
My ex and I split on mutual terms and he has nothing to apologize for, but my husband owes me an apology for a deep scar. I could forgive him in an instant if he only acknowledged being wrong.
Of course I'd accept her apology, but it wouldn't change things. She would still be my ex. We have both moved on.
I would accept her apology but I will ne er forget what she did
The first one out of the gate cheated - multiple people, multiple times, several months… I usually think I am the bigger person and I’ll usually accept an apology… but while I might accept it, and while I am not the type to keep bringing stuff up, I’d still stay away. Even if she was GENUINELY sorry for what she did, and I believed it, the stuff she did still makes a difference. You can’t undo all of that. It still happened, and there may still be consequences…
I also would tell her that I’m not the only one she needs to apologize to and fix things. She would also not be the only person who lied or kept stuff from me over that relationship, either. And frankly, some of her family should apologize, but I’d not hold my breath for that.
Moving on: last relationship, there were a LOT of issues, almost from the beginning. So I broke up with her… We still had to see each other… (a lot of mutual friends), but she was behaving… and after a few weeks, of us bumping into each other, she actually apologized. I felt like it was genuine. With promises to change, I gave it a second chance (a mistake), but we’d take it slow. - Things were back to being great… for about a week. Then it was back to her old habits, and the promises of a serious change went forgotten. And it was actually worse than before. I was done after a week or two more of being accused of cheating (I never gave her any real reason to think I’d cheat), of being lied to, being called names, threatened, etc. We were done - permanently.
I’ve moved on.
You can’t change the past but you can reconcile it.
It really matters what is the motive for ex apologizing. Do they want to reconnect (not good idea in most circumstances) or just to get closure (which overall is a good thing.).
I had one ex say something above and beyond nasty at the end. Talked to me like I was less then human. It would be deserved if I cheated on her or was physically / verbally abusive. But I did neither. I did make plenty of mistakes but nothing fundamentally wrong.
What really happened is she found out I wasn’t the man she had fantasized I was. So that made me the ultimate “bad guy” in her eyes.
I accepted I’ll never hear from her again for the rest of my life. But in a lotto winners chance she did reach out to me to apologize that would be something that would really help me recover.
I actually had that happen. Dated a girl for about a year and a half or so and it never went very well, she broke up with me. Several years later, I don't remember how long, she called me out of the blue and said that she was back in town and wanted to meet. We met at a bar and she apologized and said that while we were dating she was just using me. That's pretty much the feeling I had the whole time, but for some reason I stuck with it. I forgave her since I had moved on and she was honest about what she had done. I actually would have probably given her a second chance not for the fact that by that time I was married. I should have given her that second chance and dumped my ex. 🤷🏼♂️
I can always accept an apology. Would it make me go back with them (I mean before I got married)... that would be a rare thing. We would both have had to have been together for ages and built lots of trust. No cheating involved, and we parted on good terms. I tend to move on when a relationship ends so that doesn't allow room for somebody to come back since I would already be with someone else or just not interested in anything with anyone.
Yes, I would accept it. It would help bring closure. I'm not going to be thinking about second-chances though. I think it very much depends on a person's particular situation and history though. I don't necessarily think EVEYONE should accept an apology from their ex. It depends.
Wow. Really great question. I would accept it in terms of forgiveness, but I wouldn't reconnect with them or want to be in a relationship again. That time, that connection is passed, and I learned necessary things from it. No need to go back. But they would be forgiven.
Chapters are already closed here, I don't think I would have any ex having reasons to apologize at this point. Except maybe the first three, which is about 30 years in the past now. We were so young, I stopped caring a loooong time ago.
Given that period of time, we would have nothing in common anymore so this "second chance" doesn't mean anything significant in my life, single or not.
Forgiving is better for us then to the forgiven ones. It is never too late to apologize but there is no need to come back to anything. If there is some remote possibility of this, it would be something new - but in this case old scars could always haunt the relationship, specially during disputes.
Years later, huh? Whatever feelings I had for them died with the relationship. Me accepting their apology would be an empty gesture for their benefit and do nothing for me anymore as I am forever indifferent towards them. I don’t hold torches in my head or heart for exes.
What's the definition of ambivalence? Your mother-in-law driving off a cliff in your Ferrari. It's a bit the same with exes: you loved them for a reason, and you left them for a reason. I would be cautious but not opposed. It's your life not mine.
The apologies are accepted, but another chance nope. I moved on, I forgive them and I forget anything about them. Ex are ex, they become an ex for a reason. I would never go back to any ex for any reason.
If someone is an ass it won't matter what I do, she's still be like that. I might accept that she's apologizing but it won't actually change anything, she'll still be an ass and I'll still know she's an ass and I'll still act accordingly.
That's a loaded question. I would accept her apology, but I still would not want her in my life. I wish her well. But I still do not want her in my life. And honestly, I think... no, I KNOW that is the ONLY reason she'd apologize to me. Just because someone apologizes doesn't mean they've changed. And some wounds will never heal. 👍❤️💯
i've been the one who's apologized before and i feel like he appreciated it but just wanted to move on
like he didn't want to focus on the past
I would accept the apology and I will be happy of have them accepted their mistake, but I wouldn't give them another chance because the heal doesn't dissapear apologizing and that isn't a reason to give another chance.
As I’m laughing my exact words to her would be the following.
Thanks for wasting my time, apology not accepted, fuck you bitch!
I'd accept it , these things are never just one way , there are always other reasons , life is too short to harbour grudges.
I would accept the apology but i would be married with kids and wish him well. And have a nice life cause i moved on along time ago🤣
Yes and it would make me happy but I don't think we could get back together. It didn't work out for multiple reasons on both of our ends.
It would mean something to me and I would accept it but it most likely wouldn't change anything between us.
I would thank them, but I have moved on, so it would probably be difficult to go back.
Not impossible, but in the case of cheating I'm not sure if I could ever trust them again 100%.
They would be forgiven and we leave it at that. People can change and sometimes you oughta are respect the effort, without givin them any more of your time
Yes, I would accept his apology, it's just empty worlds. However I wouldn't change my attitude toward that guy
My ex apologized for how he treated me. Doesn't change anything, doesn't make anything magically better. But it's appreciated.
That would depend on what they did that was so bad. Hardly any things leave permanent scars unless you are a naturally weak person.
Accept it for closure I but I would be very unlikely to give them another chance even if I were single
I don't think I'd care, honestly. It is far too late. My life is a wreck and ruin, and my exes aren't to blame for that. Neither can they fix it.
u Yes. In fact, one of them did several years later.
Of course.. I've already forgiven her for the foolishness at the end, a sorry would just make me smile at that point..
I have been married for many years and really have put all behind me. I would probably accept it and then forget it.
Id accept the apology but I wouldn't want to know them at that point.
I wouldn’t give them a ‘second chance’, though accept the apology and have it as ‘closure’.
Well I have nothing to lose. But most don't need to say sorry anyway.
I would appreciate it and I've forgiven them years ago
I'll give them a chance
Not that they have to apologize because they only moved away for valid reasons
It wasn't an ex, but there is a crush I had who I would forgive, despite how terribly she treated me.
I would. Although I would be stunned if she actually apologized.
Usually I don't eat expired food absolutely not 1yr never
Apologies are for the person offering it, not the recipient.
Well given how our relationship ended with her cheating and when I got angry at her for she kicked me in the nuts
No I would never sorry you just don’t cheat on a guy and kick him in 🥜 afterwards
He only ever apologised with his big dick so no.
AN EX IS AN EX IS AN EX!
No forgiveness even after they die! 😈
NEVER! Damage is done so I guess I’ll be leaving
I don't have an ex.
But if I were in a relationship that ended, I would probably accept it.
I would but wouldn't forget depending why we broke up.
Depends on how long it has been and what the reason was for a breakup
Depends what she did. Maybe yes or maybe no.
The intensity of my rage has not subsided after all of these years. If I NEVER TALK TO THE FUCKING BITCH AGAIN , IT WILL BE TOO SOON!
it really depend's on the specific energy I feel comin from em
That already happened to me and no I did not believe in her lies...
Depends on the ex... if it's demi hell no fuck no
Hell no. I've moved on long ago.
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