You liked him for a while. You daydreamed about his baby blues every day. You fantasized about your perfect date. And you planned every single detail- what would you wear, what would you do, where would you go... All of that would have gone smooth if there wasn't one tiny error: he said no.
Your fantasy becomes shattered like a broken mirror. You stare at the pieces and wonder what did you do wrong, wondering how come you didn't predict this. You feel like wrapping into your favorite blanket and crying until you have a headache. You don't feel like getting out of bed, you don't feel like going anywhere. You just want to lay in your bed until you're all better. But that takes forever, so you think you should stay there forever. Except that's not the solution.
Even though it feels like it's the end of the world, it's not. It's an end of a possibility- what could've been, not what is. You feel lost and you want the pain to end...
What now?
1. Realize it's not your fault
I know this one is hard to grasp but it's true. Many people think that they can predict and control other people's reactions. They can't. You can only control yourself not someone else. So, no, you couldn't have done anything to prevent this. Asking out someone is a risk itself so the chances are always 50/50.
It's like gambling- you can't possibly predict where the dice will end up.
Also, a lot of people (especially girls) think like this: he rejected me because I don't have blonde hair/ green eyes/ long legs etc. Here's the reality: he rejected you because you're simply not his type. You can be the most attractive person in the world and he still may not be attracted to you because you don't fall into his standards. It's most definitely not your fault.
Think of it as this: you're top noch pop music but he prefers rap so he won't even consider listening to pop, even if it's the best out there, because it's not his thing.
But what if I change myself into his type?
Never ever change yourself for someone. Only change yourself for you. Nobody else. But let me answer the question- if you did change yourself (dyed your hair black/ wore green contacts etc) into his type, yes he might like you but you'd be miserable because you would feel fake. You would be fake because you would just be pretending to be someone else- you can't completely change who you are no matter how hard you try. Like I said, it's a very bad idea. Love yourself for who you are otherwise no one will.
2. Stop overthinking
A few days after he rejected you, he stared at you all day. His feet were pointed in your direction and you could've sworn he flashed you a smile when no one was looking. It must mean something, right?
He may have rejected me but he still might like me, right? Right?
NO. If he did like you he wouldn't have rejected you. Every "signal" or "code" he's sending you is just your imagination running wild. Don't worry, you're not crazy, it's just your mind trying to protect you from the ugly truth. It's never pleasant to hear that someone we like doesn't like us, so to get away from the hurt we imagine things that aren't there or, in this case, feelings.
In your little fantasy world he likes you, but he'd only said no because he's too shy to say yes. Or maybe because that other girl likes him so to spare her feelings he'll refuse to go out with anyone, even if he did like the girl who asked him out.
Living inside that fake happiness bubble is bad because of two things:
a) You're lying to yourself
b) You're setting your hopes high
The first one is quite clear. The second one is really bad because this guy might ask out someone else or might get a girlfriend and the reality of it would be like a huge kick in the butt- in other words it would be pretty nasty because the hurt you've felt from before would be multiplied by x100.
So, do yourself a favor and stop overthinking. He might not be even looking at you- he might be looking behind you. Or you could be the first person who asked him out so, naturally, he's surprised.
Either way, you can't possibly know what's in his head unless you go up to him and ask him. Which I don't recommend because you'll get a super awkward situation. But if that's what floats your boat then go ahead.
3. Own it
You'd mustered up the courage to ask your crush out and he'd turned you down. And now you're feeling down because you didn't get the answer you wanted. Get that pretty head back up because I've got some good news for you: it doesn't matter that you "failed", it matters that you tried. It's not his answer that counts, it's your question.
Instead of thinking that someone rejected you, think of it as doing something bold and daring- you've done it even if you were scared to death. Congrats, that's a little thing called bravery- doing something outside your comfort zone.
Not everyone is capable of doing that- getting outside of their comfort zone- so be damn proud you did.
You may not have gotten the result you've wanted but you've gained experience and you'll know what to do and what not to do next time. Just because one guy said no doesn't mean you should stop believing in yourself.
You didn't lose anything- he lost an opportunity to get to know an amazing girl like you. It's his loss, not yours. You've gained experience and that's priceless. You're still your amazing self but a bit smarter.
If you let rejection own you, it'll completely kill your confidence. Instead, do it the other way around and you'll get a confidence boost because you're think of yourself as someone bold- which you are.
4. Give it some time
Even if you are confident about it, rejection still stings. After all, that guy did mean something to you. You want it to stop and you want to know when will the pain end.
It's unpredictable- it might stop in 5 weeks or in 5 months. It's always different for everyone and it depends on how well you knew the guy. Either way, it's like an open wound, you have to give it some time to heal.
It's going to itch and it's going to sting for a while until there's only a scar left. It won't hurt anymore, it'll just serve as a reminder of what you went through and what made you stronger. Some day you'll look at it and you'll smile because at the time you'd thought it was something you'd never get over. Oh, how wrong you were!
Remember, what made you cry yesterday will make you laugh tomorrow.
Stay strong and never give up.
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