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1. If they love you, they will come back
Let's be honest here. If someone loves you and genuinely wants to be with you- no amount of time or space can make their feelings disappear. If things aren't working out and you take a break or break up with them, they should still want to make things right and will wait until you're ready to talk.
2. Distance makes the heart grow fonder
Distance makes people miss each other. If there are too many fights and contradictions that cannot be resolved by talking, time apart will help people evaluate things on their own and decide what they want.
3. Not being afraid to lose someone is a problem
If someone is taking you for granted, knowing that no matter how they treat you, you will forgive them and still stick around- that is an issue. They should know that they need to respect you and your time, and that you can walk away if not treated properly.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Agree, but I have a new mentality where if he does something I don't like I won't make exceptions for this guy I will leave and not take him back. For example months ago I was willing to meet up with a guy off a online dating site but he said he didn't have a facebook, google his number and it shows up on facebook selling tickets. I felt it was weird and question him where it ending with him saying "don't contact me again your annoying". I said "fine I won't I'm not planning to ever again". Forget about this douche then out of no where he messages me about meeting up. I said no because you were rude last time. His excuse was "sorry that was my friend talking" I said don't care not going to happen. Then he message me again a few months later just "hey" I think. I said "why the hell are you bothering me". I never heard from him again, honestly I think he was planning to kidnap me. But just a bad kidnapper. Point is don't just accept them again actually think if its worth it or not to accept them and their behaviour once again.
I'm afraid those are all platitudes, not firm statements of truth.
1. If they love you, they will come back
Not true. I am perfectly capable of loving somebody, recognizing that they are not good for me, and breaking up for permanent. I can still love, and not come back.
2. Distance makes the heart grow fonder
Not true. It does happen in some cases. In others, distance is the problem to begin with, either physical or emotional. Yes, taking time apart will help us to evaluate and decide what we want - but that may not be "to get back together".
3. Not being afraid to lose someone is a problem
Not true. The taking for granted case is one dimension, but I have also seen too much fear of losing someone turn into maintaining an emotional distance out of self-protection. In a true, mutually respectful relationship, there must be trust that the other person does not have one foot out the door, evaluating their other options.
I think that's why you're not getting a lot of response, here. Sorry.
You really believe this?
Because I broke with my boyfriend a month ago (tomorrow, actually) and I really want to move on but I still have some kind of hope...
It's quite complicated but I don't know, things are how they are... but will it change?
Do you seriously believe he could feel sorry about breaking up and want to get back together?
Thanks by the way
Honey, I don't know why you two broke up but don't waste your time on a high school fling that probably keeps falling apart if he not trying to make it work. Besides if you two go into two different school after high schools chances are you lose your feelings and move on. This is just puppy love not real love. UNLESS years later you still remember them and love them then.
@NatashaJ Thanks :)
Anytime but if you are true love good for you its very rare to find especially in high school it makes it more special
@NatashaJ Yeah, I know. It just I wasn't really expecting it and I don't know, I feel like it wasn't supposed to end... not now, at least. I feel like there were many things left undone and unsaid but there's nothing I could do now. One of the reasons it hurts, it's just the way it ended and how sudden it was. I'm pretty aware it wasn't a great relationship and it was a bit immature but somehow, I didn't feel "wrong" with him. I didn't care if we weren't "usual" or "normal". I thought, "As long as we have each other, it's fine. We don't have to be like the others". But I screwed up, I let my emotions "run wild", why? Because I could. Because he said things that made me feel comfortable but joke's on me. I guess, I'm happy I learned a few things that could've probably destroy any "important" relationship in the future but I keep thinking, "Okay, yeah. I learned my lesson. Nice, I got the experience... Okay, now he can come back..." but he won't...
I feel like, now that I've learned and we had our time apart, it's time to get back together and make our relationship stronger but... Well, obviously "not happening at the moment" and I don't know if I could try and move on now. I mean, I gave it 2 months of hope and then I would start to really move on. It helped during the "first month of hope" but now, it feels kind of useless. The problem is, that I do love him (I know, it sounds clingy and clique) and I'm ready to see it all fade away. I mean, I'm not really doing anything to try and come back together. I want to give him space. I really can't talk to him... like at all but if he does, I'm sure I'll answer. It's just so complicated, you know?
"Letting go or holding on a little longer?" I don't know
Well, thanks anyways. Any advice really helps, so thanks. :)
Well what did you say exactly if you were emotional because he did something you got upset at its ok to be emotional. If he wanted to leave due to your emotions that's his problem not yours because a relationship is all about emotions he should had know he going to be deal with your emotions like this anyway. No one wants a emotionless relationship, if it wasn't meant to be if he didn't feel like saving your relationship.