I can tell you for a fact from having lived in over 40 states, including a dozen prominent majority black areas... the biggest complaint I hear (and from me) about Black U. S. women WHEN the complaints happen-isn't on their looks. It's about their attitude. Many of them have turned incredibly snotty. If you only have a HS diploma, you're lower middle class/poor, have multiple kids out of wedlock, multiple exes on child support and/or incarcerated... Morris Chestnut and/or Channing Tatum WILL NOT be beating down your door-just because you have a big butt in tights. Big deal. Walk around the corner-so do 200 other girls. Somehow these days... several I've came across seem to think that doesn't apply to them, and it's GUYS' responsibility to do something about curing their delusion. Go to Stanford, major in chemical engineering... then you'll have YOUR OWN 6 figure salary.
U know I've always liked white boys... Let's say white guys are heads and black ones are tails, I flipped on heads a lot. Like A LOT. THen I realised I liked boys with hair, cute lips, and lighter eyes and such. Lol
@fashionguy17 I don't know I've just always been attracted to white guys, I've always been attracted to really light or pale skin completion, long soft hair, and slender noses hehe blue eyes.///. Stuff like that. It's just my preference tbh. I always wished I were lighter skinned I thought that it would look better on me. Plus i might have it easier in dating and job hunting and dating.. I feel like my skin color got in the way with the last guy I liked... I was seen as "black to him"
Of course! Broaden your horizons, date who you want. The genepool needs a little refreshing to say the least, otherwise we will be all inbred yokels. 🕊❤️
To be fair, you just happened to travel to countries that were even more liberal and multicultural than the US themselves. (London, Canada)
I reckon your experience would be dramatically different if you went to any of the mainland European countries or anything in East Asia, countries which are still extremely homogeneous, both ethnically and culturally.
@MarcoIsAFailure Germany is 89% white of which 80% are ethnic Germans. Even the minority loving France (where it is illegal to actually do demographics because this would apparently be racist somehow) is estimated to be about 85% white and only about 4% black.
That is far more homogeneous than London where ethnic Brits represent less than half of the population (45%) and non whites represent 40%.
You can't compare London to the entirety of Germany. You would have to compare London to Berlin. In some districts like Kreuzberg, Turks and Arabs are the vast majority.
Also, I don't know where you got that 89% figure from. Is it german citizens or people in germany? Makes a huge difference, with about 2 million refugees since 2015.
It certainly depends on the area and those 89% might true, as places like bavaria are very homogeneous, that's true. But places like Berlin, Hamburg, the Ruhrgebiet, all super diverse. I don't have official statistics, but about 50% non-white should be a safe bet and of the white population, another 50% are polish, czech etc.
@MarcoIsAFailure According to most recent census, 82% of Berlin population is European of which 71% are ethnic Germans. 9% Middle Eastern, 3% Asian and 2% of African descent.
It's higher than the country average, but significantly lower compared to London for example.
That being said, population censuses don't get updated until every 5 or so years. If your experience is different, I suppose the population statistics haven't been updated to reflect the recent immigrant influx, and it's most likely refugees aren't even counted in official statistics anyway yeah.
In the census, refugees aren't. That's why I asked were you got your statistics. At least where I live it's incredibly diverse. It always was (at least 20% turks) and the recent influx of refugees changed quite a bit. Now, most of the time I get asked for directions, they do not even speak a word german. Naturally, refugees are more likely to ask for directions, as they are new here. Still.
Also, when it comes to diversity, I feel like the subjective impression does count even more then statistics. You can't go anywhere without comimg across people of different ethnicities. That's what shapes liberalism towards ethnic diversity.
Lose the self pity. 90% of black men are with black women. Be humble, be kind, be respectful and you will attract decent men that will show genuine interest.
Not to be a jerk, but how do you feel about white guys who only want to hook up? I'm white and I've done it with a few black girls. However, I felt we had too many differences (not racial, but lifestyle) that just didn't make us fit well for something sustainable.
littlelofty; I loved your letter it was down to earth and very truthful good on you. I have worked with lots of different people over the years. And found plenty grate mates, black, wite, I looked at your pic and you can work beside me and be my good friend, for as long as you like. You are out of this world? can we be good friends and keep in titch my name is lofty Murphy.. Keep your chin up my girl and smile on your face.. right me on here?
Maybe it's that they feel intimidated, in the sense that, they don't think they are good enough. Men look at a beautiful woman & think, why would a woman like that be interested in me. I think you feel that you are not good enough either. Try not to look too hard & it will ( love ) bump into you one day. Good luck. x
You guys are always thinking things are racist... and you guys seem to chastise black men for the same thing you guys dream to do, which is to successfully date outside your race. From what I've seen, it's not about your race... it's your attitude
1) That's no where close to my name, Becky. 2) Don't get mad at me for telling you to not speak on a topic you know nothing about. 3) You can't be one to talk about attitude problems when you're the one who obviously has bigger personality issues.
@xXiTacoXx I'll speak on it if I want to. Black women aren't any better than black men in this department... but some of you are constantly projecting. I just find it humourous
I'm not in the gutter (I've actually been in a relationship for years surprisingly with someone outside of my race), and note I didn't say black women didn't do it at all. I said we don't do it on as large a scale because many of us realize we have relatives who are black men, and if we through all black men under a bus it would include them so we don't. Your stance smells of "since I fuck black guys and they say black women are bad, then it must be true". How about before criticizing all black women you actually talk to some and get to know our point of view? Because it's quite obvious you only listen to one side of the story.
A lot of black women's stories are similar to hers, but have you ever asked why? A black girl could be a nerd (like me), famous, rich, poor, a model (yes a lot of black models go through this too), an educator, and so on and so forth, but there's always a similar story when it comes to how people treat us in the dating world.
@xXiTacoXx anytime anyone tried to talk to black women about this, you're quick to state that you've dated outside your race (as you've done) and that you're somehow in demand. Then once the criticisms subside, you go back to blaming the world for not being attracted to you. As I said before... black women are always right.
Here's the thing. You don't talk TO us or WITH us black women, but you surely talk AT us instead. That's why we clap back every time someone wants to say some idiotic mess and generalizations. Also, I wouldn't have stated my relationship status if you weren't accusing me of being in the gutter boo-thang. Most of us get rude comments about our skin in the dating world, and not our personality so if we're calling out anti-black female rhetoric, then there's a reason for it.
I hear those claps in your multiple down votes from women AND men. You walk about us being the worst when you're obviously not a catch yourself. You're expecting me to think of OkCupids review as solid facts when they're one company, and that review is old as hell? You obviously need to have several seats.
Whats wrong, did a couple if guys dumped you for black woman, and now you're salty? It seems to me like you go out of your way to insult black woman on a post thats supposed to be a an experience. The only one with a bad attitude is you
Ok... I am a black man... and I am dating a black woman. I do agree with one point you made:
"it's not about your race... it's your attitude"
When you're in your 30s and still single, it's not the man's fault. It's just all about how you present yourself and your mindset.
Like, I know this woman who is 35 and still single. All she does after work is sit inside all day and then she hangs around her nieces and nephews on the weekend, and she keeps wondering why she is still single... lol.
xXiTacoXx I see you. And a race of woman can't all have the same attitude, that's a gross generalization and xXiTacoXx is right and you need to find a stadium, and sit in each and every seat.
I think we should live our lives and focus on being the best versions of ourselves. Take vacations wherever you like but don't relocate *just* to find love. What if you don't? You'll feel real silly
I agree with this. Too many people focus on love instead of focusing on their selves. People need to learn to invest in their selves before they invest in love.
@LoloWaye Everyone wants to get married and start a family at some point (well... not everyone... but you get what I am saying). If you focus on love and trying to find someone, you will lead a miserable life, because you will be miserable that you can't get a relationship. However, if you live life to the fullest, go out and do things that you are interested in, go out and take new classes, travel, do new experiences... you will eventually meet someone who shares the same interests as you. It's all about investing in yourself first... because when you put yourself out there and invest in yourself, others will invest in you as well.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
43Opinion
I can tell you for a fact from having lived in over 40 states, including a dozen prominent majority black areas... the biggest complaint I hear (and from me) about Black U. S. women WHEN the complaints happen-isn't on their looks. It's about their attitude. Many of them have turned incredibly snotty. If you only have a HS diploma, you're lower middle class/poor, have multiple kids out of wedlock, multiple exes on child support and/or incarcerated... Morris Chestnut and/or Channing Tatum WILL NOT be beating down your door-just because you have a big butt in tights. Big deal. Walk around the corner-so do 200 other girls. Somehow these days... several I've came across seem to think that doesn't apply to them, and it's GUYS' responsibility to do something about curing their delusion. Go to Stanford, major in chemical engineering... then you'll have YOUR OWN 6 figure salary.
U know I've always liked white boys... Let's say white guys are heads and black ones are tails, I flipped on heads a lot. Like A LOT. THen I realised I liked boys with hair, cute lips, and lighter eyes and such. Lol
Are you a black woman -_-?
@fashionguy17 saddly yes lol
Lol I figured 😜😂. Why do you prefer white men over black men?
@fashionguy17 I don't know I've just always been attracted to white guys, I've always been attracted to really light or pale skin completion, long soft hair, and slender noses hehe blue eyes.///. Stuff like that. It's just my preference tbh. I always wished I were lighter skinned I thought that it would look better on me. Plus i might have it easier in dating and job hunting and dating.. I feel like my skin color got in the way with the last guy I liked... I was seen as "black to him"
*"black"
You should never be ashamed of your skin color. It's all about perception of self. If you think your skin color holds you back, it will.
I thought black men loved dark skin and nappy hair
Of course! Broaden your horizons, date who you want. The genepool needs a little refreshing to say the least, otherwise we will be all inbred yokels. 🕊❤️
To be fair, you just happened to travel to countries that were even more liberal and multicultural than the US themselves. (London, Canada)
I reckon your experience would be dramatically different if you went to any of the mainland European countries or anything in East Asia, countries which are still extremely homogeneous, both ethnically and culturally.
mainland Europe being homogenous? East Europe, okay. But Germany, France... anything but homogeneous.
@MarcoIsAFailure Germany is 89% white of which 80% are ethnic Germans.
Even the minority loving France (where it is illegal to actually do demographics because this would apparently be racist somehow) is estimated to be about 85% white and only about 4% black.
That is far more homogeneous than London where ethnic Brits represent less than half of the population (45%) and non whites represent 40%.
You can't compare London to the entirety of Germany. You would have to compare London to Berlin. In some districts like Kreuzberg, Turks and Arabs are the vast majority.
Also, I don't know where you got that 89% figure from. Is it german citizens or people in germany? Makes a huge difference, with about 2 million refugees since 2015.
It certainly depends on the area and those 89% might true, as places like bavaria are very homogeneous, that's true. But places like Berlin, Hamburg, the Ruhrgebiet, all super diverse. I don't have official statistics, but about 50% non-white should be a safe bet and of the white population, another 50% are polish, czech etc.
@MarcoIsAFailure According to most recent census, 82% of Berlin population is European of which 71% are ethnic Germans.
9% Middle Eastern, 3% Asian and 2% of African descent.
It's higher than the country average, but significantly lower compared to London for example.
That being said, population censuses don't get updated until every 5 or so years.
If your experience is different, I suppose the population statistics haven't been updated to reflect the recent immigrant influx, and it's most likely refugees aren't even counted in official statistics anyway yeah.
In the census, refugees aren't. That's why I asked were you got your statistics.
At least where I live it's incredibly diverse. It always was (at least 20% turks) and the recent influx of refugees changed quite a bit. Now, most of the time I get asked for directions, they do not even speak a word german.
Naturally, refugees are more likely to ask for directions, as they are new here. Still.
Also, when it comes to diversity, I feel like the subjective impression does count even more then statistics. You can't go anywhere without comimg across people of different ethnicities. That's what shapes liberalism towards ethnic diversity.
That is a very interesting experience... there is a whole world to explore... why subject yourself to a life lesser than what you can be 😀
jezebel.com/what-dating-abroad-taught-me-about-stateside-racism-1745559824
John Mayer clearly thinks with his racist penis...
If ya want to! I'm gonna stay here and see if anyone likes me. I heard that European men are crazy about black chicks and other races though.
also be careful were you go in Europe, they keep getting bombed and raped over there. It's kinda dangerous
I'm proud that my countrymen know how to treat a woman well, and very sorry that you have to travel so far to find it.
Lose the self pity. 90% of black men are with black women. Be humble, be kind, be respectful and you will attract decent men that will show genuine interest.
^this
Not to be a jerk, but how do you feel about white guys who only want to hook up? I'm white and I've done it with a few black girls. However, I felt we had too many differences (not racial, but lifestyle) that just didn't make us fit well for something sustainable.
littlelofty; I loved your letter it was down to earth and very truthful good on you. I have worked with lots of different people over the years. And found plenty grate mates, black, wite, I looked at your pic and you can work beside me and be my good friend, for as long as you like. You are out of this world? can we be good friends and keep in titch my name is lofty Murphy.. Keep your chin up my girl and smile on your face.. right me on here?
Maybe it's that they feel intimidated, in the sense that, they don't think they are good enough. Men look at a beautiful woman & think, why would a woman like that be interested in me. I think you feel that you are not good enough either. Try not to look too hard & it will ( love ) bump into you one day. Good luck. x
You guys are always thinking things are racist... and you guys seem to chastise black men for the same thing you guys dream to do, which is to successfully date outside your race. From what I've seen, it's not about your race... it's your attitude
Okay, you need to sit down. You don't know shit about black women, men, or the black community so stay in your lane.
@xXiTacoXx LaVar Ball?
1) That's no where close to my name, Becky. 2) Don't get mad at me for telling you to not speak on a topic you know nothing about. 3) You can't be one to talk about attitude problems when you're the one who obviously has bigger personality issues.
@xXiTacoXx I'll speak on it if I want to. Black women aren't any better than black men in this department... but some of you are constantly projecting. I just find it humourous
The only thing humorous here is your ego, and your lack of knowledge on a racial group you know nothing about.
I'm not in the gutter (I've actually been in a relationship for years surprisingly with someone outside of my race), and note I didn't say black women didn't do it at all. I said we don't do it on as large a scale because many of us realize we have relatives who are black men, and if we through all black men under a bus it would include them so we don't. Your stance smells of "since I fuck black guys and they say black women are bad, then it must be true". How about before criticizing all black women you actually talk to some and get to know our point of view? Because it's quite obvious you only listen to one side of the story.
A lot of black women's stories are similar to hers, but have you ever asked why? A black girl could be a nerd (like me), famous, rich, poor, a model (yes a lot of black models go through this too), an educator, and so on and so forth, but there's always a similar story when it comes to how people treat us in the dating world.
You know what? OP is fucking right 💯
@xXiTacoXx anytime anyone tried to talk to black women about this, you're quick to state that you've dated outside your race (as you've done) and that you're somehow in demand. Then once the criticisms subside, you go back to blaming the world for not being attracted to you. As I said before... black women are always right.
Here's the thing. You don't talk TO us or WITH us black women, but you surely talk AT us instead. That's why we clap back every time someone wants to say some idiotic mess and generalizations. Also, I wouldn't have stated my relationship status if you weren't accusing me of being in the gutter boo-thang. Most of us get rude comments about our skin in the dating world, and not our personality so if we're calling out anti-black female rhetoric, then there's a reason for it.
I hear those claps in your multiple down votes from women AND men. You walk about us being the worst when you're obviously not a catch yourself. You're expecting me to think of OkCupids review as solid facts when they're one company, and that review is old as hell? You obviously need to have several seats.
Yeah, they all kind of proved your point for you. You disagree with them and they go nuclear on you.
Whats wrong, did a couple if guys dumped you for black woman, and now you're salty?
It seems to me like you go out of your way to insult black woman on a post thats supposed to be a an experience. The only one with a bad attitude is you
Ok... I am a black man... and I am dating a black woman. I do agree with one point you made:
"it's not about your race... it's your attitude"
When you're in your 30s and still single, it's not the man's fault. It's just all about how you present yourself and your mindset.
Like, I know this woman who is 35 and still single. All she does after work is sit inside all day and then she hangs around her nieces and nephews on the weekend, and she keeps wondering why she is still single... lol.
xXiTacoXx I see you. And a race of woman can't all have the same attitude, that's a gross generalization and xXiTacoXx is right and you need to find a stadium, and sit in each and every seat.
You should try Russia. Apparently they've got too many white women, because they are mailing them all over here.
mailing them lol
Lol.
If that is what they want to do, they should go for it. But there is no impetus that should dictate where people should look for love.
Not to be the bearer of worse news but post 30 odds are even worse. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Least you don't have kids and a nasty attitude ( I assume).
Sure, as long as they accept my nappy hair and that our children might be cross eyed that's fine.
What do people over seas think of kinky Afro hair
Your experience is your own story, but the title is ridiculous.
It's not really that ridiculous tbh. Situations like this happen to a lot of black women. Especially darker skinned black women.
I think we should live our lives and focus on being the best versions of ourselves. Take vacations wherever you like but don't relocate *just* to find love. What if you don't? You'll feel real silly
I agree with this. Too many people focus on love instead of focusing on their selves. People need to learn to invest in their selves before they invest in love.
@fashionguy17 what if you're at yhe point where you have a great life and want to add love to the equation? Get married, start a family?
@LoloWaye Everyone wants to get married and start a family at some point (well... not everyone... but you get what I am saying). If you focus on love and trying to find someone, you will lead a miserable life, because you will be miserable that you can't get a relationship. However, if you live life to the fullest, go out and do things that you are interested in, go out and take new classes, travel, do new experiences... you will eventually meet someone who shares the same interests as you. It's all about investing in yourself first... because when you put yourself out there and invest in yourself, others will invest in you as well.
yeah if anyone is willing to go that far for love then I say they should and that they deserve it. Sorry to hear about your experience.