Men and women, you don't have to change a thing about yourself 💕[Short Take]

[elisa_0]

You don't have to change a thing about yourself

Hi, I know this is very random, but I'm here to let you know that you don't have to change anything about yourself to please somebody else. Stop reading through articles and takes such as "How to make a woman stay with you" or "How to keep a man forever." A person will love you for who you are, and if they don't, they are not for you. It is really that simple.

If you want to change something, do it for yourself. Do it to better yourself to feel better about yourself, but not to please somebody else. If you want to lose weight, do it to be healthy. If you want to quit smoking, same thing. If you want to change your attitude towards others, do it to enhance your mental & emotional health. If you want to change something about your appearance, make sure it has to do with your own wellbeing rather than an urge to fit in or attract a certain type of person. Eventually that is not going to work in your benefit.

Don't do things for other people, or you will be stuck depending on their approval. And this will hurt you more in the long run.

Again, if you come across any Takes or Articles that say "What to do to keep your partner committed to you," that's just NOT it. Every person is different, and if this person has a list of requirements that you need to fulfill as if it were a job interview & they were your boss, then they're not for you. YOU DO YOU.

💫💫💕💕

[Kaneki05]

Of course i agree with this 100%. I have some things to change/work on but i am doing that for myself. Great if it also improves my chances with someone later but my main goal is to make myself better for me not because someone is saying so. Changing for someone well just leads... to an abusive relationship in my opinion.

[Flower7]

This is very good advice. And very true also!

[aWes0MeNeSs]

Love this! I agree 100%.

While there is always room for improvement no matter who you are and everyone should always be trying to improve themselves, it should be for yourself first and foremost. Some of these changes can definitely help when it comes to dating, but more than anything, you want to be able to put yourself first and love yourself without needing validation from others (not that seeking out a partner itself is seeking validation, but I find that a lot of people prioritize others' opinions of themselves above their own and only strive to improve for the validation of others).

You're definitely correct that everyone, and every relationship, is different.

Especially never try to change into someone you are not. There are good changes that are improvements upon who you are as a person, but you should never feel that you can't actually be yourself around others. If a partner requires this of you, they're not the right one and will likely never be happy with you.

[Guy13]

Real life demands flexibility and change.

[SirRexington]

I wish this was true. But it's simply nice thinking and nothing more. Society demands we change and conform. Women themselves are the biggest perpetrators of telling men how and who they should be while getting angry when given advice by men. A double standard that surely you're aware of.

I'm living proof of this predicament. I don't feel like I should have to change who I am for anyone else. I don't like most people anyway and I see others not seemingly caring about the perception of themselves by others. But at the same time, not changing is not helping my situation. My stubbornness is a strength and a curse. I don't have many friends and the ones I do have rarely if ever contact me. Through the years it doesn't seem to matter how I act or present myself. Society just doesn't like me.

But no, I'm afraid as much as I hate this to be true, it is. Everyone must concede some parts of themselves in order to even go outside and exist among the populace. This isn't a utopia. This isn't a dream world where everything and everyone is perfect. This is the real world. And sadly, the real world is unforgiving, unrelenting and unequivocally complicated.

[elisa_0]

I didn’t say there was no pressure. It’s not nice thinking. Lol it’s the truth—you decide whether you want to conform or not. Even if you do end up conforming, it has to be because you want to better yourself instead of pleasing somebody else.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I would say change is only needed if a person is misbehaving or something like that. Since sometimes people in relationships might act in a way they usually don't. I mean, I sometimes might slack off on doing chores and I would like a future partner to remind me that I haven't been doing them and that'd it'd be nice if I helped keep up with the housework. I mean, if I don't do it then it'd make them feel like they're taking care of a child (in a bad way). And I don't think anybody would be happy if a relationship ended all because I failed to do housework.

[iambae]

I disagree with this but I understand where you are coming from. If your children or spouse ask you to make a lifestyle change they can be the reason and motivation behind it that get you to make the change. This is often the case.

Reality is most people lack the drive, will, knowledge, and discipline to make any long lasting changes in this country.

Additionally within most humans there is this thing called duplicity where they are torn on certain issues.

[elisa_0]

What type of change would a spouse and child want in you that isn’t at the same time beneficial for you and your health?

[YHL6965]

As someone who had to learn that the hard way and still struggle with that to an extent, I have to say :

https://www.youtube.com/embed/S9RVS8cjNN0

Thank you for sharing your love, positivity and acceptance!

[AlwaysBelieving]

True and also applies to the “how do I get him / her to like me?” type questions.

[Agape93]

Good take!!

[Makeushiver]

Tru dat

[Tstrbrainer]

Cool👍👍👍👍

[Ineedmoneynow]

Church the best place to find a good soul mate.