Be more dateable! 7 things to do to find somebody to date!

[anon1903]

7 things to do to find somebody to date!

Do not play games!

That's right. Throw off your self help covert psychology books. The tactics rarely work, and if you aren't as clever as you believe - things might get worse.

And I don't mean just mind games. Even "guess my age", another common lame-o game. So you look older than you are? Don't try to make people look bad!

Plus, playing around makes people feel you're undeserving. You aren't worth dating. If that's not what you want, stick to genuine date hunts xD.

Socialize more!

Can't emphasis enough. Absolutely. This one I found on some NPL seduction site. It said you gotta have friends to make it happen.

So I'm telling you it.

How do you do it? Simply help around. Join a community. Prep as a volunteer. Gather, cheers, clink-clink! If you've got time to kill. I suggest you do the above in your 'leisurely hours'. Find a place to relax and unwind first.

Perks of having great number of friends is advice. Probably being set up also, if lucky.

Plus friendship can be a good start of getting to know them in person. If things work out, you can take them out!

Don't bury your feelings

Confession. Many people chicken out from confessing to their crushes. Stalking them from distance isn't exactly going to go anywhere, naturally.

Introvert or not, pop out the bubble! Yes, laying your feelings bare is hard but spotting them holding hands with somebody else is harder! Agreed.

And you can always move on after rejection. Take Spring Blue Ride anime for instance here.

Hit your past demons!

Clear any baggage from exes. That includes buried feelings and sentimental items. As my mom says about cakes : you can't buy another one if there's still leftovers in fridge!

Let bygones be bygones.

Don't pull out a Ross Geller! By taking your ex girlfriend's name in wedding. Humorous but but so uncool, bro.

Secondly, cure off your issues. By that I mean any parting gift your former babe left you. Including intimacy issues, trust issues, fear of vulnerability etc etc.

Cross off unrealistic off the list!

It most probably helps if you recheck your standards. I'd say GaG is a great way for doing it - evaluation, surveys, comparison.

"I don't go out with smokers."

A wise decision. Won't like playing tongue hockey with a person blowing cancer sticks, would ya?

"I don't like people wearing glasses."

That's... um okay. Tad offensive because this is tech era. Around 60% people wear that so... Yeah.

Enjoy casual dating...

At least for a while. Most people I know are so fucking serious minded.

You can't rush things. Love doesn't work on timelines. Gotta invest time and energy.

So don't tryna browse for baby names while the waiter's getting you desserts on fifth date. I'm not joking, I've a friend who once did this. At first her gushing was all cute but it did freak out her boyfriend.

Know you can have fun. For some, including me the asocial one, enjoying is the hardest part.

Put "dating" on hold

If all doesn't work out with you, you can always focus on self. There's nothing more important and attractive than somebody who's fit and successful.

Take time off from this. Go nuts with friends, take family out! It'd be for the best.

Good luck! X

[Jltakk]

This is rather basic stuff, and that's gotten me nowhere. I'm very social and have tons of friends from me just going up and meeting them. I've been open to casual dating, hell I haven't even been picky with that. Taking breaks is a given, you'll wear yourself thin if you keep doing something that isn't producing the results you want.

I know everyone wants to help and be inspirational to others, but its crazy that people are oblivious to the fact that some things that work for some individuals may not work for other individuals.

[Ryfyle]

Buy a gun, go out into the woods, become interesting.

[anon1903]

Lol Ryfyle

[NewlonBett]

With some I agree, but there are things that I would not do.
In fact, everything is very individual and if you think very well, then you just have to be yourself, not prove anything, but just live and have fun. Then they will find you, and you no longer have to look for someone)))

[anon1903]

Thanks for adding a beautiful face into comment session.

[NewlonBett]

You're welcome!))))
I thought to leave smart thoughts, but I see that I didn't succeed?))

[anon1903]

That is correct.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

First of all, during the COVID-19 Pandemic, dating, socializing, and any other gatherings is difficult to do safely, so lets get that out of the way.

For all intents, and purposes, let's assume there isn't a pandemic going on. This is a solid list, and I agree with most of it, but where you live influences your dating life too.

I live in a very closed-minded area here in the Midwest Region of the United States of America. Even the large city nearby has small-town drama, and is basically high school part two (three if you include my college alma mater). People here are reluctant to socialize with people they didn't go to high school, and/or college with, and they shut people out. Also, there aren't many entertaining options here, and it makes it very challenging to socialize. Seriously, the only thing there is to do is watch television at a sports bar, or root for one of our dismal professional sports teams. There is no way to join a club, community, etc. when there isn't anything to join in the first place.

As for the "Don't bury your feelings" advice, that also wouldn't work where I live either. Most of the women in this area find it "creepy" if a guy admits he has a crush on her. Again, this location is terrible.

Finally, most people here don't want to casual date, or at least most women don't. Almost everyone is in a significantly relationship between the ages of 21-25 years old.

When the pandemic is well-controlled, I want to move out of this region to somewhere else. I love my parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews, but I just can't take living in such a negative, boring, and soul-sucking place anymore.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Nonsense. The disease is dead in most of the world. However, lockdowns are still in place, because local governments are drunk on power. The only reason it isn't safe; is because you risk penalties for questioning the fear narratives, or presenting conflicting evidence. Welcome to conditioning for a Chinese global takeover. This is literally how they live their lives, every single day. Anyone detached from worldly fabricated fear narratives is seen by the party as a threat. Which is why Fulan Gong, many Christian denominations, the Uighurs, Tibetan monks, etc. are so heavily persecuted in China. Detachment from self-aggrandizing human authority figures isn't allowed.

[Reaperbot666]

• Cross off unrealistic off the list!
• yet many women these days want a man whos above average. in just about every aspect of his life and body.
• however same can be said about men seeking a woman really.
• mostly because of the modern interest, social media, adult films, hookup culture, smart phones, dating app/sites, main stream media and celebrities.
• ruining the youth and dating culture for everyone.

[anon1903]

Valid input

[DizzyDesii]

I like all except casual dating. Thats just not happening. In a way it is playing games because you’re likely talking to more than one person at once... except instead of just talking, you’re likely getting physical and having casual sex as well. I don't know maybe we have different definitions of casual dating. But i just know i dont partake in it. Other than that, great mytake

[FatherJack]

Good overall advice , for me " Put "dating" on hold " ... I have done so permanently , no bitterness , the desire is not there , I am introverted & have little BS tolerance. Single dad , put myself into that situation , so cannot compete in the male heavy sausage fest that's the " dating market " anyway... even if I did want to.

[KrakenAttackin]

@FatherJack. I am in the exact same place as you.

[FatherJack]

@KrakenAttackin I simply see " dating " as pointless , at the stage in life where peace is more more important , got partying and all that out of my system at an early age , esp when off duty as a British Army soldier... when not on operational tours.

[ahmadali01]

Life as a single person offers many rewards, such as being free to pursue your own hobbies and interests, learning how to enjoy your own company, and appreciating the quiet moments of solitude. However, if you’re ready to share your life with someone and want to build a lasting, worthwhile relationship, life as a single person can also seem frustrating.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Gotta find a gal who isn't a total chicken first. Plus, that getting rid of past demons you mentioned? One does not simply shed baggage like mine. It isn't always the girl; but third parties I have no control over, that spell disaster.

[WhiteGlaze]

A dopey 2 inch dicker, who's not a whole lot taller than his dick. The duke of dick and casanova of the heart with a tall stack of abs to top him off. Connection that leaps and bounds from other people around you, is the only thing you need to look for. Look around for someone to play with, and pay attention to how they play with you. With everything you do and say to them, breathe the air of a keeper. People never know what they want or need. Soviety just tells them thay have to know so they begin personifying this person who likes these certain things no matter what. So show them a new breed with every turn you make. This is how you truly attract in the majority. This is why apps like Tinder fails. It limits so much of each person's potential and we're all up for it cuz we just want some honey.

[jamesgoldman]

1. I don't do games excluding poker, board and occasionally golf
2. More than 6 times per year?
3. Don't have them, oh those feeling well MeToo sorted that one out
4. We're still friends as it was amicable or do you mean the nail varnish as I hit that on the head years ago
5. At this point might as well give up, who wants a clapped out old guy like me
6. I don't have time for casual, I'm a suit kinda guy
7. Yeah I have it grows ever closer to perminant

[CasaNorba]

good article!

I think people should practice the do not play games more often. though I have tried it myself and it has backfired on me numerous of times cause so many women would rather listen to bullshit lies and treat the real truth like the beginning of doomsday

[Carinna23]

it's not that easy...
The points you shared part from the idea that context can dispose of places to interact.

[anon1903]

Would you like to add something?

[InferiorElegy]

I did all these except the past demons thing as I have no exes to begin with and casual dating is hard to do when you've never been able to land a date or have a full conversation with girls because you get rejected without being able to say much. I also put a complete stop to trying to date, it's gotten me nowhere, the only way I'd think about dating is if a girl asked me out and even then I'd be wondering a lot of stuff and probably wouldn't date.

[wingattebaby16]

very well written.. i agree with all your steps, esp the Casual Dating.. date for fun and to meet different peeps to find out what personality, traits, etc. you want in a a mate.

[Juxtapose]

Whoa.. a mytake about dating from a woman I agree with?

What is this sorcery?

Great job, you were very sensible here.

[Juxtapose]

*Whoa.. a mytake about dating from a woman AND I agree with it?

[anon1903]

Thanks, buddy.

[Sthgjstlikethis]

Yes, very sensible.

[pink_and_inlove]

be sociable during 2020? how is that even possible XD

[michael1469]

Doggie style is social distancing

[anon1903]

That's funny

[Sthgjstlikethis]

How do I make up for my lack of communication skills?

[anon1903]

How bad are they?

[Sthgjstlikethis]

Only as bad as hers are and just a teeny some more

[anon1903]

I'll try to write up a take on that. :)

[Sthgjstlikethis]

You're very kind, someone would be glad to have you

[anon1903]

Thanks, bro ✌

[KBird]

I have the exact same 'problem'. Im more shy, and therefor my social and communication skills aren't as strong as others, and I find that it can be harmful in relationships at times. But recently what I have found helps is trying to start a random conversation with strangers on a daily basis (like on the bus, train, at the bar, etc.), it gave me more confidence. I also found that being more informed about politics, global news, sports, etc. any subject that either of you are interested in, and making sure I have a definite opinion on it helps to be able to maintain a conversation, or good banter. Also another thing I've learned and accepted lately is that Im not the only awkward one in social situations, and I don't blame myself for it anymore. And as long as the 'awkward silences' are not awkward, and more chill, you're all good.
One course that has helped me over the years is the Dale Carnegie course, and they help businesses and individuals work on their communication skills. The course and the books were fantastic and gave me a lot of confidence, if that is an interest. :)

[anon1903]

Does this help?

[Sthgjstlikethis]

In all of life there is rythm

[JPrez]

Very well written as is everything you write and refreshingly honest and forthright. Kudos. 👊

[scooogy]

I've had quite some girls at college reject me right away in the assumption of me only wanting sex. Great way to stay single, ladies! 👍

[Liam_Hayden]

I'm extroverted and have pretty open standards so I generally do not have issues, but this is a good list for people who are less extroverted.

[Eggplant29]

Society needs to get on board with the honest approach and veto the silly mind games approach.

[tartaarsaus]

“Socialize more!”


And for that reason, I’m out