5 days and No contact after third date?

[Anonymous]

I have been dating a guy for about a month, we have been to three dates, we usually talk every other day. we have great chemistry and in the third date we had a great intimate time. in the third date he mentioned the next time we are together and I was sure that he was enjoying my company because he didn't want me to leave at the end of the date. the problem now IS that after the third date he didn't contact me for 4 days and that's when I Thought maybe he doesn't want to see me again but because I liked him so much I thought I'd text him, so I did and he replayed after 2 hours and said that he sorry for being so busy coz he is a band member and they had a concert (he also works full time and studies part time). we talked and continued talking next morning and he replied even though he was at work but still replayed to my texts, he told me that he got another concert next week and he was practicing the night before. from all of that I thought maybe he likes me coz he is replaying even when he is busy or at work but the problem NOW is its been 5 days since then and he hasn't contacted me! I am so depressed as I really like him and I don't know if I should just forget about him :(

Help plz!

[Trowa]

Sally could have played it two ways based on her own level of interest:

1. If she was fairly keen on Harry, then it's best to keep the embers burning softly while still playing it cool. In this case Sally should have messaged late in the morning on the fourth day just to check in and ask when it would be a good time for her to call (10:30am is usually a good time not to seem too desperately early, but not late enough for the other person to dismiss the message entirely on account of having had a full day.) This would let Harry know that there is a definite interest, and also takes the pressure off him making the next move, or deliberating whether Sally was worth a call back or not. It sets both up for continued contact under very little pressure, as both can agree on when would be a suitable time to chat.

2. Sally likes Harry, but her interest is moderate, in which case it makes more sense to just take a back seat and let the other party have control over the next step. It may take a week or more for someone to make contact, or it may not happen at all. At least by this point you've given yourselves enough time to find out if the interest level was worth pursuing. If after 2 weeks Sally still felt like making contact, there's no shame in just texting "Hey there, just remembered how fun our date was a few weeks ago, do you feel like catching up again this week?" If the other party makes an excuse, then at least you were let down softly and can move on.

Remember that every defeat ultimately makes you stronger, and better equipped to handle various scenarios.

[madhatters4]

why does it seem like he always has to be the one to reach out to you first. when you reach out to him he does reply. if he is doing band stuff then it is legit that he is busy.

that said, it really a great sign that he may go 5-days without reaching out to you. I think it may be a sign of how strong his feelings are for you, by which I mean, if he liked you more PERHAPS he'd be more reliable in terms of reaching out... BUT he could also just have tunnel vision and be really focused on his task with the band.

I think you should try not to infer anything from these past few actions, or inaction but rather try and discuss and get a gauge for where his feelings are for you and the relationship

[Asker]

I am thinking maybe he is just not that into me! do you think I should talk to him again or just wait? I don't want to seem desperate!

[madhatters4]

I think you can reach out to him. it's only desperate if you feel desperate frankly. if you get the feeling that he isn't that into then maybe you should just let things happen, sorta start moving on and see if he reaches out to you. it is good at some point to find out how he feels about you. the best way is to talk to him but otherwise you could just wait til he reaches out to you to do so

[Asker]

yeah I think your are right, It will be much better for me if I know how he feels about me. I will maybe text him and see if he replays :(

Thanks a lot for your responses.

[madhatters4]

no prob. good luck

[eanubis89]

You have answered my question I was just about to ask

[eanubis89]

In a different way for the guy I have feelings for but heah

[eanubis89]

Yeah I mean*

[madhatters4]

i think if a guy really REALLY is into a girl and into a relationship with her he will find a way to reach out to the person regardless of how busy...cause afterall it doesn't take much time to shoot out a text or make phone call

[eunika]

like he said he is busy, maybe it is so or maybe he is just making excuses. just wait a few more days if he doesn't text you than you should just forget about him:(. You already made the first move by texting him first, if he is interested than he would make time for you even when he is busy.

[Asker]

okay I understand that maybe he is making excuses but I thought if he doesn't want to see me again he could just not replay to my text!! he talked normally!! I will wait and see what happens. Thanks a lot for your response :)

[NaturalBornFiller]

Why Has He Not Invited You To Even ONE Of His Band Rehearsals/Practices?

...tell him to make time to sit and talk, or you're gone!!!
...if he truly desires to share life together, he will make time and understand

[Asker]

I don't like to be clingy I don't know if I can do this!
by the way thanks a lot for your response