Men who look at other women - I need help understanding..... (Page 3)
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Yeah, I can say that I wouldn't be staring at a woman's butt if I was going to propose to her that night. I'm very self-aware about such things. I do otherwise, since it's my favorite part of a woman. She can have A-cup breasts, unattractive face, but a big beautiful tight butt...I'm going to look, since it's a rare sight, and I'm going to want her like crazy. So I'm wonder if you husband is a serious butt man like myself and/or perhaps he was feeling like this was the last time I'm going to be having sex with other women and so he starting "whistfully" looking around at what he's going to be missing. Or, worse case scenario, he was inadvertantly telling you that he wasn't really ready to propose.
Its natural instince and often time we can't really help it. You are gorgeous so you have no reason to have low self esteem. He has proposed to you, and wants to be with YOU the rest of his life - NOT these random women he sees. Men are more sensitive to sexual stimuli whereas women are more sensitive to emotional stimuli. Your man loves you, but those sexual images are very hard to overcome - and it has nothing to do with what he thinks of you. Its harder for me to overcome than women just because of the differences in our brains and hormones.
Ok just my cousin Alexandra told me this once and it explains the situation perfectly, "just because he ordered doesn't mean he can't look at the menu" I love my girlfriend very much and would never cheat, however how can I help but stare when a perfect 10 walks by? She knows this and she isn't happy with it but just because a guy is in a relationship doesn't mean he will stop being a guy he will still find other women attractive, you will just have to trust that he will never go up and try to talk to them. As for whether how faithful you think he is I cannot help you there
Men are very visual animals and tend to like at pretty things. Personally when I look at a girl I don't think about anything else than just looking and enjoying the moment (i.e. I don't picture her naked or think about sleeping with her, just looking and enjoying)
If I'm with my girl, I make a conscious effort not to look at other women because I know it hurts her feelings and bring her insecurities up. Plus, I adore the way she looks and focus completely on her and tell her how beautiful she looks. All that makes the both of us happy.
I was having dinner with a girl I liked at a local sports bar. She's very beautiful so I felt very lucky. Over her shoulder was a hot blond in a tight fitting dress playing pool leaning over you could see she had no pantie line and tons of cleavage. My date kept wondering why I would always look her in the eyes when I spoke to her or look down. After we finished she looked over and saw the hot blond. When we left she just gave me a huge deep passionate kiss and smiled "you are just amazing you know that." I think woman know how hard it is and I didn't want to make her feel small for gawking at another woman in her presence.
The reason he can't give a straight answer is because he doesn't understand it himself. You seem to assume that he is consciously picking this woman out and looking at her. The opposite is true, it's a conscious effort not to look. Guys notice, you can't help it, weather it's nurture or nature doesn't really matter. You see something that catches your attention and it's there, but often it does not register what it is you are looking at. I don't know how to describe it, it's not overtly sexual you are not looking and thinking OMG I want to sleep with her, it's more just something of interest. There's really no difference in a guys mind psychologically between seeing a pair of breasts and a pretty flower. I know I am being confusing but I don't know how to describe this.
guys are very visually stimulated sexually. more so than women. that's why guys buy things like playboy or download p*rn and women don't buy playgirl or p*rn. we can't help it. its just the way we're programmed.
you're wondering why you're not good enough. I think you're taking it too personally. from his perspective he sees a pretty girl and looks at her. that's all there is to it but you're turning it into this, oh what I'm not good enough thing that probably doesn't exist. I think any guy you were with would proabably do that. the smart ones would just be subtle and discrete about it.
I can understand your point, but I'm not sure why your letting it bother you so much...he wants to marry you girl! =) Don't let something so little get in between yall...It doesn't mean anything, and has nothing to do with YOU...or your looks. EVERYONE looks...I look at guys and girls! No I'm not gay, but you can't help but look at a girl who has a nice body & just because I check out another guy it doesn't mean I don't love my boyfriend any less or that I wanna go home with the guy! Its just natural to look at people, no matter what they look like! Best Wishes!
The breasts and butt part seem sexual to me, but if he has never cheated on you, and doesn't act suspicious about that kinda stuff. I think you should just try to forget about it otherwise you will end up pushing him away and wondering more about the other women with the butts and breasts and he will eventually cheat. I think as you put it is just an observation. However the more you harp on about it to him, the more you make him reflect back on the breast or butts he saw early that day, that he had probably forgotten about until you mentioned it. So you only gonna reinstall that picture/memory he had of her which will inevitably lead to fantasy, fantasy that any heterosexual man will act upon. As you said he's not bored of the sex life you both share. So let it go, before its too late. :) hope it works out for you two.
Fegeddaboutit. If he's openly gawking on the evening he proposed, you are going to spending many nights home alone. It's not even a "guy" thing. After the initial infatuation wears off, he may admire other feminine pulchritude is a circumspect fashion but what you describe gpoes well beyond that and indicates a complete lack of respect. Give him the ring back and save yourself the heartache down the road.
You are so right. I know guys look & that's fine, but do it on your own time, right? I do too. To gawk like that in front of you is disrespectful & juvenile. I can see why it's a gut-punch. He's right, find someone else. He's a player.
Men do this all the time no matter if they are single or not honestly. I see guys checking me out while they are with their wife or girlfriend. Yes I have big breast and a big butt and a small waist but its not like I go around showing off my assets. I don't think he is doing it on purpose, its more of the fact that he can't help that he's a guy and whatever these women have has attracted him. Seems like he just want to have sex with them, its like lust. Answer mine? link
Oh and you can't make him stop so I suggest you take marriage counseling and having big breast doesn't just make you attractive, you have to have a pretty face, good attitude, nice hair and a nice body. What he's looking at you may not have, perhaps they seem more easy going
Give the poor guy a break. We are hunters by nature. did you ever see what a bird dog does when it see's a bird, it points...leg up and all. Guys are like pointers, When we see a hot lady we point. I try to be discreet around my wife so she doesn't catch me that often, but she does catch me from time to time. Tell your boyfriend that it bothers you and not to do it in front of you. We can't stop, it's a normal male reaction. As long as we're not cheating on you, be reasonable, be understanding, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. We are different. He's warm and you're cold while driving I the car, we're just different. The day I stop looking will clearly be the day that the coffin closes over me... I bet he's the same way. Not what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth. do I fantasize about sleeping with them, yeah sometimes, do I, NO... Do I think about them 5 minutes after I see them, nope. We're pointers! LOL
Seriously why wouldn't you look?
When you drive down the road don't you view the cars around you? don't you look at the world around you as you take a walk? It would be rude not to look at someone as they walk by. unlike most people I enjoy knowing what's going on around me.
If I'm sitting at a table in the mall with my Girlfriend and a woman walks by I will look. What's the point of not looking? I've already seen part of her body and the rest of me is wondering what does she look like. Do I know her? is it someone I know? What colors are she wearing?
Seriously stop being a shallow B*&^%& and let people enjoy design. you can't atain a sense of fashion if you can't view people around you.
do you ever look at another guy, for a few minutes at least? Or do you think an actor or celeb is good looking? Maybe it's that kind of feeling for him when he looks at another attractive woman. Like I think Ashton Kutcher is kind of cute, or maybe James Franco isn't so bad looking, or maybe some women Brad pitt or Orlando Bloom. Yeah they are HOT and maybe I think they and I would make beautiful babies, but in reality I would NEVER have the chance and I am pretty content with my husband. I don't know if this helped you at all. But I thought I'd answer just for fun. bye.
we are men..its just what we do...you are women...you bicker endlessly and never know when to shut the f*** up even though, if you took the consious action of reading our facial expressions, you'ld know without a doubt that we stopped listening about 3hours prior to now due to lack of mental stimulation.
...its what you do...we deal with it...stop bein so harsh love
well to be totally honest ... it's instinctive ! and if he just looks , doesn't mean he'll just go touch you know ? you can tell he respects you if he doesn't look at other women when you're with him. but if I tell you that he won't be looking at women when he's alone or with friends , that would be a lie lol. it's like having the car of your dreams and you buy it, you still look at other guys but it doesn't mean you wanna give up on the one you have. sorry for putting it this way. but you gotta face it, beauty is something to notice. I've even seen girls that are friends of mine checking out hot girls and they're not even lesbians ! so let alone being a guy and seeing hot women :)
Can you look me in the eye and tell me that he's the only attractive man on the planet? ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE BUT LOVE IS. Find the beauty in how despite all the attractive women he looks at, he still CHOOSES to be with you.
For a guy who have been single along time it bcome a habit. It he's just looks it's OK. But if lusts all over himself that's when you should say I'm going to do the same to you and talk to other guys. In front of him. If you still like him. He will stop. Make him win you back. Nothing is wrong if he "looks" since its become a habit before he met you... Think about it that's what he told himself when he looked at you. So talk to other guys but if he stops then stop to.. I heard on a christian radio once even they had problems. It's normal if it's just a look and he's not thinking about it that part is a choice.
We are hardwired to notice women and their sexuality. It is instinct. Our eyes do this automatically. Choosing to keep staring is another thing. Choosing to act on what we see is quite another thing.
It seems unlikely that when a woman is happily partnered she will suddenly become blind to all men's attractiveness. My guess is it is much the same for women.
He's not considerate of your feelings. He sure may be telling the truth when he says that it's not personal but fact is, it bothers you. He should take that into consideration if it's something he is willing to stop doing for you. I have been in 3 serious relationships. My 1st love, I showed her the respect that I received. 2nd relationship was not ast strong and I did keep my "options" open... 3rd. was very strong and again I showed respect.